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Episode 106: Calorie-free oil
Published 18th October, 2024
Dan Schreiber, James Harkin, Anna Ptaszynski and Andrew Hunter Murray from 'No Such Thing as a Fish' face questions about technical translations, missing movies and gesture guesstimates.
HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: Reith Humphreys, Bab Chunko, Arnau, Joe. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott.
Transcript
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
What Arnold Schwarzenegger film cannot be seen from Earth during a full moon?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
Today, we welcome back some players who were previously on our 100th episode. But what could possibly surpass the prestige of our 100th episode? It's our 106th episode, of course!
In fact, they've even dressed up in the same clothes to recreate the fond memories of that party.
So, first, smelling slightly of Listerine and Lynx Africa, we have James Harkin!
James:
Wow! Is this a new thing with the internet, that you can smell me? Because that is literally what I do smell like.
Tom:
We're going to send out some scratch and sniff cards along with the podcast, as a bonus for people.
James, how are you doing? How was your first visit here?
James:
Yeah, the first one was great. Really enjoyed it. Loved the questions. Learned a lot, I think. We'll probably steal all those facts for our show.
Tom:
(laughs)
James:
We're hoping for a little bit more plundering today.
Tom:
You have no idea how hard our question team worked to try and find things you had not already covered.
James:
(chuckles)
Tom:
Next, dabbing away at a difficult wine stain, it's Anna Ptaszynski.
Anna:
Hello.
Tom:
Welcome back to you as well.
Have we crossed any facts yet? Did you recognise anything from the previous questions, from previous Fish episodes?
Anna:
I didn't recognise a thing, although that's no guarantee it hasn't been on there. My memory is a black hole. But I thought that it was all absolutely fascinating, actually.
Tom:
Well, thank you very much. The question team will take the compliments.
Also, looking around for a hairbrush to borrow, we have Dan Schreiber.
Dan:
(laughs) Hi, Tom.
Tom:
In hindsight, that one was probably intended for Anna, but it just says "guest number three", and that's the order you are on my screen right now.
Dan:
Yeah, no, weirdly, it's incredibly appropriate and something my mom has been saying to me for the last week and a half. Since she's been living with me.
Tom:
(chuckles)
And finally, hoovering up the Pringles crumbs, welcome back, Andrew Hunter Murray.
Andrew:
Hello, but I'm hoovering them up with my mouth! Clever.
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
Tom:
Together, you are the team from No Such Thing As A Fish. Something that I probably should have explicitly said during the introduction earlier. (laughs)
Tell me a little bit about Fish. What's the podcast about?
Andrew:
It's a podcast about everything, really.
We all met through our work on the TV show QI, and we span off, and now we do a show every week where we talk about our four favourite facts of the last seven days.
And they could be about literally anything, which is lovely. Much like this show, really.
Tom:
Well, our guests cleaned out the question cupboard last time, so we have ordered some more questions in from DoorDash. So, while I find some money to tip the delivery driver, let's tuck into question one.
Our first question has been sent in by Joe. Thank you very much.
Joe is doing a large-scale home renovation project to make his house more eco-friendly. Rather than finding the instructions in his mother tongue of English, he chooses to search online using Danish. Why?
I'll give you that one more time.
Joe is doing a large-scale home renovation project to make his house more eco-friendly. Rather than finding the instructions in his mother tongue of English, he chooses to search online using Danish. Why?
James:
Okay, well, it seems kind of obvious. What do you associate with Denmark? Lego? He's obviously making an extension with Lego.
Andrew:
Yeah, perfect.
Dan:
Ahh.
Andrew:
Next, next question. Let's move on.
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Andrew:
Nailed it.
Dan:
Is it because... it's— he's only— he's lost the English translation to his actual booklet that tells you how to build the thing? He's got the Danish version, so every single word he sees, he needs a pictorial thing to go with it. So he's googling pictures, and he's building it... by visual.
James:
Mm.
Andrew:
That's good. What else is Danish? Bacon. And when we think of bacon and home renovations, what do we think? The Three Little Pigs. So...
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
Andrew:
(cracks up) Someone else take the baton, please.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Andrew:
Do I have to do all the work here?
Tom:
I love how your mind worked there. That's a brilliant set of connections!
James:
So what we're saying, is it more eco-friendly to make your house out of bricks or sticks or straw, Andy?
Andrew:
That's it.
James:
Bearing in mind that once the Big Bad Wolf does come down and blow it, you're gonna have to keep rebuilding. So it's like a false economy.
Andrew:
Yeah, exactly, yeah. Straw insulation? I bet there is good straw insulation. It's kind of like thatch, isn't it? But that can't— That can't be it.
James:
(wheezes)
Andrew:
Feels unlikely.
Anna:
Doesn't feel like the answer.
James:
Okay, Anna, can you throw in another Danish stereotype?
Anna:
Okay, Hamlet. Hamlet's Danish. And he lived in a castle.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Anna:
Is he building Hamlet's castle? And I think there is that one in act II, scene 3, there are instructions for how to build his castle. But they were in the original Danish, weren't they? Which of course was the language that Hamlet was written in.
Dan:
(laughs)
Tom:
The trouble is that the forest is slowly approaching, and he just needs to build something to remove it.
James:
I think that might be Macbeth, but...
Tom:
Oh! I've got my... I've got my plays confused. That's embarrassing.
Andrew:
Okay, so he's— Sorry, his native language is English. He's looking for instructions in Danish to do his home renovation.
Tom:
Yes. He does understand Danish. It's his second language.
James:
Oh, okay.
Dan:
Oh, okay.
Andrew:
So is it like, there's a— there's something only available in Danish? Which... Or the Danish is better than the English for whatever reason? Or it just hasn't been translated?
Dan:
Or maybe, the Danish just get to the point. They're just, the Danish instructions are, "Just smack it in! Just smack it in!"
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Thank you for not attempting a Danish accent there. Everyone listening appreciates it.
James:
Denmark is near where IKEA comes from.
Anna:
Mmm.
James:
So... And I know that the names of all the items in IKEA are named after Scandinavian words. Not necessarily just Swedish or wherever it's from. So maybe there's some clues? No, maybe not.
Tom:
It's a large-scale renovation project, this.
Andrew:
Okay, I think that Denmark... I think Denmark is the site of the world's first wind turbine.
James:
Oh?
Andrew:
Denmark is a very wind turbine kind of place. They've got a load of wind power, I think.
James:
So does the UK. We've got the biggest field, I think, don't we?
Andrew:
Yeah. So is it that you can buy a home turbine kit, but the instructions are only in Danish?
Anna:
Build your own turbine.
Dan:
If this is a big renovation project, then is it possible that his house or whatever he's building is crossing the border into Denmark, and he has help, and in order to...
He's got to basically work in two languages. When he gets to the kitchen and the downstairs loo, he's in Danish territory, but then the rest, like the living room is on the other side.
James:
Which is the other side, Dan? Where is it? Is that from the UK to Denmark?
Tom:
(laughs)
Dan:
(wheezes) Well...
Andrew:
Yeah.
Dan:
I don't know what his first language is.
Tom:
First language is English.
James:
Oh, right, okay.
Tom:
Yes.
Anna:
And is— Can we ask if this renovation project is in Britain?
Tom:
It wouldn't actually matter. In fact, Denmark is kind of a red herring here. Other languages would also work. It's just that Joe happens to know Danish.
Anna:
Right.
James:
Okay, okay. So why, so more, as a— In that case, it's not why choose Danish? It's why not choose English, right?
Tom:
Yes, absolutely right.
Andrew:
Because English has no word for...
James:
(wheezes)
Andrew:
I don't know.
Anna:
Got no word for nail.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Have a think about what major projects might make a home more eco-friendly, particularly if this is British housing stock.
Andrew:
Insulation.
Anna:
Solar power.
Andrew:
Heat pump.
James:
One of those toilets where they're not attached to the sewers.
Dan:
Oh, yeah.
Andrew:
Triple glazing.
Tom:
Yes. We are talking about putting some new glazing in.
Andrew:
Oh, okay.
James:
Okay.
Why would you not want it in English? It's, I mean, it's not as simple as... metric and you know... Because in English, we don't have the metric system, and I don't know.
Tom:
No, it's very deliberately, when he's looking up the instructions, he's using Danish rather than English.
Anna:
When he's looking it up on Google— Is he trying to confuse the Google algorithms into— so that they— because they can only speak English algorithms. So they won't know that he's trying to make his home more eco-friendly? Is it to do with the fact that he's searching it in that language, online?
Tom:
Yes, absolutely. That is a big jump forward, Anna.
Anna:
Wow, it felt like a mad guess, okay.
Andrew:
Can he get a European grant to replace his windows that he can't get in the UK?
Tom:
It's a bit simpler than that. And James, when you said, it's why not English? It's not why Danish, it's why not English?
James:
Is it if you search for Google Glass, you get something to do with Google Glass, the glasses?
Andrew:
Brilliant.
Dan:
Oh, yes, okay. Is the pe— the glass that they're buying is the word for it in an English Google, something that's like Sexy Time, or, like...
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
James:
Or is it Windows, as in Microsoft Windows?
Tom:
There you go! That's it! So what might he have been typing in?
Andrew:
He wants to buy 95 windows.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Dan:
He wants really soft windows. Micro-soft windows.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
If you were doing a renovation project, what might you be typing in to find out, to get the instructions?
James:
Oh, 'install windows'.
Tom:
Yes, he is literally typing, 'how to install windows'. And unfortunately, that just goes to computer articles.
James:
That's very funny.
Tom:
This is an anecdote from Joe himself, who wrote the question. He tried 'mounting new windows', he tried 'installing windows in house'. Nope, all computer things. However...
Andrew:
How funny.
Tom:
If you search for 'Sådan installeres vinduer' – apologies to Denmark – you only get the construction guides because the actual brand name is not in there.
Dan:
That's brilliant. I literally experienced this earlier today when I was trying to buy an album by a band called Sex Swing...
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
Dan:
On Amazon.
Anna:
Yeah, yeah.
Tom:
That's just bad SEO on the band's side, really.
Dan:
Yeah, they're a band, and they've got an album out, and on Amazon, it's— I'll tell you what, it's amazing how many actual sex swings are available on Amazon.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Andrew:
Really?
Dan:
Yeah, honestly put it in, have a look.
Tom:
Andrew, you sounded very, very interested in that.
Andrew:
Well, I just that's like they're so good. They could be here tomorrow. That's amazing.
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
Tom:
I have less work to do than usual because we have four guests, and they have all brought a question.
We're gonna start today with Andrew.
Andrew:
Okay, this question has been sent in by Arnau.
In 1988, Lennart was disqualified when he performed in a world championship competition. In 1991, he participated again, doing the same thing, but with the help of the judges themselves. This time, he won first prize. Why?
I'll read that again.
In 1988, Lennart was disqualified when he performed in a world championship competition. In 1991, he participated again, doing the same thing, but with the help of the judges themselves. And this time, he won first prize. Why?
James:
Okay.
Andrew:
♪ Do-do-lo-do♪ Riddle me this.
James:
Can I tell you where my brain went, just so that we can kind of rule it out? My first thought was, because I know in Crufts, if you do a poo on the floor, you get disqualified.
SFX:
(guys laughing)
Tom:
Sorry, I'm going to need you to specify the word 'you' there.
SFX:
(scattered laughter)
James:
You know what?
Andrew:
If either of you.
James:
If either of you know, I think the rule stands.
Tom:
I realised when I said it, actually, yeah, no, that's... One of those is a crime.
Andrew:
(laughs)
James:
Yeah, but I guess it's probably not that.
Andrew:
No one here is a dog. Although, magnificent. (cracks up) Why would doing it with the help of the judges mean that you can't close your eyes?
SFX:
(group laughing)
James:
Is it a sport, Andy?
Andrew:
It's not a sport.
James:
Okay.
Andrew:
And I say that with apologies to the people who do it, who might claim it as a sport, but it's absolutely not.
James:
Oh, is it cricket?
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Two episodes you've been on! Both times you've slammed cricket!
James:
That is a callback for the, you know, the fans of your show, Tom, who listen to every single episode.
Andrew:
It's not a sport, I'm gonna, I'm gonna— I'm gonna gently... point you at the word 'performed'. He performed in a world championship competition.
Anna:
Mm. Spelling bee. That's the most performative competition I can think of.
James:
That's interesting. So, did you say disqualified the first time, Andy, or just...
Andrew:
Yeah, disqualified.
James:
Why would you get disqualified from a spelling bee, Anna, do you think?
Dan:
How would the judges help as well?
Try a B there! Put a B in there!
SFX:
(others laughing)
Anna:
Yeah, I don't think I know how spelling bees work, maybe. Maybe that's been revealed here.
Tom:
I mean, that was a guess out of nowhere, Anna. Is it actually a spelling bee?
Andrew:
It's not. It's not a spelling bee.
Tom:
Okay.
Andrew:
It involves the person before me being on the stage.
Tom:
Alright.
Dan:
I want to say... it's a magic act. It's a magic competition, and you've got the... A move was pulled on stage by someone that was so inconceivable to the judges, they're like, "You can't have sawn her in half, that's insane. That's not a real thing" or whatever they did. And then it became a known trick because you can't tell your trick as a magician.
So you're just like, "It's, I promise this is legit." And now they bring the judges onto stage as part of the trick, and it's performed on them.
Andrew:
Dan has got it! That was incredibly rapid.
Dan:
What?
Tom:
What?!
Anna:
Very good.
Andrew:
That's it.
Anna:
Nice.
Dan:
No!
Andrew:
I'm staggered, yeah!
Tom:
How do you get disqualified from a magic contest?
Anna:
Was it about, well, was it about the person that they had to assist them before they had the judges? Did it turn out they got someone on the inside in, to be there?
Dan:
They must have thought it was a stooge, but they didn't want to give away the trick, so they, went, "This is impossible, you can't have done this," is my guess.
Andrew:
Dan, you, I mean, yes. Dan, you are the lady who's been sawn in half. That's stunning. You've done it.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Dan:
Well, can I just say... Ta-da!
Tom:
Eyyy!
SFX:
(others laughing)
Tom:
Okay, I'm still confused here.
Andrew:
Basically, this is Lennart Green, who is a legendary magician, who is taking part in the FISM, Fédération Internationale de Sociétés Magiques, World Championship of Magic.
In 1988, did his card trick... and was disqualified because the judges were absolutely positive he'd used a stooge in the audience to do a 'false shuffle' on the deck, which is not allowed. That's... It's like rule... It's very important. You can't do that.
So in 1991, I don't know what he was doing in 1989 and 1990. Sulking, I presume.
SFX:
(James and Tom laugh)
Andrew:
He repeated his performance, and this time he insisted that the judges took part in the routine. So there was no doubt this time that the routine used anything other than Green's skill. And that was it.
James:
Brilliant.
Andrew:
And then he won, first prize.
Anna:
But, we do now all suspect that Dan is a stooge of Tom's. Planted here.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Anna:
To make sure it looked good.
Tom:
Dan, it is over to you for the next question.
Dan:
This question has been sent in by Reith Humphreys, and the question is:
In 1971, how did a few dozen chinchillas help to bring down drug kingpin Frank Lucas when he attended a Muhammad Ali boxing match?
So I'll read that again.
In 1971, how did a few dozen chinchillas help to bring down drug kingpin Frank Lucas when he attended a Muhammad Ali boxing match?
James:
(wheezes)
Tom:
(laughs)
James:
What?
Andrew:
There's a lot there.
Tom:
This is tickling something in the back of my head, and I can't remember it, and it's really annoying me. It feels like one of those heist stories that...
James:
So chinchilla is like a small rodent, right?
Dan:
Mhm.
James:
Furry. They used to use the... There was a woolen thing called chinchilla. So— that you would wear, that you would use to wear things. So, they're definitely very fluffy. I'm wondering if they were hiding in Don King's hair...
SFX:
(group laughing)
Andrew:
Yeah.
James:
For younger listeners, who was a boxing manager, who had very chinchilla-like hair.
Tom:
(chuckles)
James:
And then they jumped out. And I actually can't remember the rest of the question.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Andrew:
They followed the drug kingpin. They followed the drug kingpin.
James:
Oh, the drug...
Andrew:
Were there ever sniffer chinchillas? Like sniffer dogs, being posted at the, you know, key areas?
Anna:
What do they used to send through to fix, kind of, pipes and stuff?
James:
Ferrets.
Andrew:
Ferrets.
Anna:
Ferrets.
Andrew:
Yeah.
Anna:
Ferret, chinchilla, potato, potata, surely. So...
Andrew:
Yeah. I think of them as being like little guinea pigs. I could not draw you one, but I assume they're like that.
Tom:
It's, a chinchilla is, I think, a slightly bigger, perhaps more rodent-like creature. But yes, it's a small, fluffy creature.
Andrew:
But there are a few dozen of them. And there's a drug kingpin turning up to a boxing match.
SFX:
(James and Tom wheeze)
James:
Gosh. It is crazy.
Tom:
Okay, let's set the scene. Let's have the local equivalent of the FBI investigating. They know the kingpin's coming to the match. They can't just jump in and arrest him for some reason.
Andrew:
But, they can, if they lure him to the right place, they can nail him. So, and they know he loves chinchillas.
So they build up a cover story with Muhammad Ali, who collects— they 'rope in', and he collects chinchillas, is the story.
So he says to the drug kingpin, "Would you like to come backstage after the fight and look at my chinchillas?"
And the drug kingpin is like, "Oh my god, yes."
But he's carrying one of his— some of his drugs on him. And so that—
James:
Yeah?
Andrew:
That's how, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a little-known story about Muhammad Ali's career.
James:
They did always say— Muhammad Ali did always say, float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and then scurry around like a chinchilla. They always cut that last bit out, don't they?
Tom:
Famous.
Anna:
Did they need to set up a drug deal? So was it a thing where you needed someone to go and pretend they wanted to buy drugs at this gig from the kingpin, but this kingpin is so dangerous no human wants to do it, so you dress a couple of dozen chinchillas in a greatcoat...
Andrew:
Yeah.
Anna:
And Bob's your uncle.
Tom:
The phrase 'cocaine sniffing chinchillas' has just popped into my head.
They needed to ferret through – no pun intended – a load of pipe work, a load of seating, all the bags there, and they have trained the chinchillas to track down the cocaine, because... that's the local animal?
We don't know where this is. This could've been somewhere where chinchillas are native.
James:
Is any of us close so far, Dan?
Dan:
I'll give you a few clues from the things you've discussed. They were not used as drug sniffers. So we can take that off the table. And this was a match between Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali in Madison Square Garden in New York City.
Tom:
Oh, right. That was— that's the match, right? That was the big match.
James:
Yeah. What about... I'm trying to think... like Tom was trying to set the scene.
So the FBI's come in, they know there's a kingpin there. They want an excuse to go and sort of check him out. Maybe you just release a load of chinchillas into Madison Square Garden. And then everyone goes crazy 'cause these chinchillas are running around, and in the brouhaha, you go and you maybe check the drug baron guy?
Dan:
Afraid not, no.
James:
Oh. I feel like I would've heard of it, if that had happened, actually.
Andrew:
(chuckles)
Tom:
And these are literal chinchillas? I've never heard of chinchilla being a euphemism for something.
James:
Oh, well, like I said, chinchilla, it was a type of fabric, like as in...
Tom:
Okay.
James:
Synchilla, which is synthetic chinchilla, was the first name for a fleece. You know, those fleeces that you wear.
Andrew:
Yeah.
James:
They were originally called Synchillas because it was named after chinchilla.
Andrew:
And I have seen some old-fashioned gold smuggling coats that you would wear under your main clothes, which have pockets all— sort of upright ribs all the way around that you would put very thin ingots in as you would try to smuggle them across borders. So if a chinchilla was a nickname for something in the drug trade... you could, I suppose that could be it.
Dan:
You're starting— You're all starting to dance with the idea here now. We're sort of making our way.
Anna:
It's not actual chinchillas? It's not real live chinchillas? It's a nickname.
Dan:
So James, you were sort of dancing in the right territory there, when you were saying synthetic chinchilla.
But also Anna, when you were mentioning sort of items and so on, and we've been talking about fabrics and so on. You're so nearly there.
Anna:
The coat?
Dan:
The coat.
Andrew:
Oh, so that was how many chinchillas it would take to make a coat. Several dozen.
Tom:
(laughs)
James:
(wheezes)
Andrew:
No, but it would.
Dan:
Yep.
Anna:
Yes, someone walks in wearing a chinchilla coat, and it's a classic kingpin thing to do, to wear a chinchilla coat. That's like, you know, the drugs guy thinks, "Well, you're one of us."
Andrew:
Yeah.
James:
Yes!
Dan:
Keep going.
Tom:
And it's the only way they can identify him. They don't know what he looks like, because he's a drug kingpin. He's anonymous. They don't have a picture of him, but they know he wears a ridiculously flamboyant chinchilla coat.
So they look for the guy in the chinchilla coat.
Anna:
Feels like that would be a really easy game giveaway, wouldn't it? For a drug kingpin trying to maintain anonymity.
Dan:
Let me give it to you, because you're right there. It's just about finer details now.
1971... You've got Frank Lucas, who is this drug kingpin. And noticing that he was making a real splash within that world, he looked around at what the other kingpins would dress in and how they would carry themselves. And a lot of them wore mink coats.
So he decided to wear a floor-length coat that was matching with a hat made from chinchilla fur. Actual chinchilla, not synthetic.
In doing so, law enforcement on the night spotted him in the crowd and went, "Well, that's only a thing that drug guys do. So he must be a kingpin."
Tom:
(laughs)
Dan:
And it made him, as he said later, he left a mark— he left a marked man. And five years later, they arrested him in his attic. But that was the moment that he identified himself to the law enforcement of New York as being a kingpin...
James:
Wow.
Dan:
By emulating the look of a drug dealer.
Tom:
They weren't looking for him specifically that night. They were just like, "This guy has something going on, let's investigate him"?
Dan:
Exactly, that's basically the idea.
And so as you said before, Tom, this is what's been dubbed the Fight of the Century. And, so there was lots of law enforcement there anyway, and he just stuck out like a sore thumb. And he was given a 70-year prison sentence as a result.
He only served 15 years of it, but if anyone has seen the 2007 movie American Gangster, which stars Denzel Washington, that is the subject of that film.
Anna:
That would've really sped this process up, wouldn't it, if one of us had seen that?
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
Andrew:
Yeah.
Dan:
(chuckles)
Anna:
Dammit.
Tom:
Good luck with this next one, folks.
A medium-sized bottle contains avocado oil as its only ingredient. It bears an official US 'Nutrition Facts' label that contains the statement "Calories: 0". Why?
I'll say that again.
A medium-sized bottle contains avocado oil as its only ingredient. It bears an official US 'Nutrition Facts' label that contains the statement "Calories: 0". Why?
James:
I didn't even know you could get oil from avocados.
Andrew:
No, that's true. No, me neither. And is it maybe it's no calories, like coffee? Coffee has no calories. So maybe avocado oil is just, happens to be...
Anna:
Is this just a quickie? It's just a really short one.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
No, it turns out avocado oil is just, it's water, it's about— No, this is genuine avocado oil, and you can get oil from avocados.
James:
Oh, how interesting, 'cause I thought it might be like one of those joke things you could buy. It's an empty bottle.
Tom:
Oh, yeah.
James:
It says 'avocado oil' on it, but actually... everyone knows you can't get oil from an avocado.
Dan:
Ohh.
Andrew:
(snickers)
James:
And there's no calories 'cause there's nothing in there. But that's not right.
Dan:
Yes.
James:
Okay, so why would you need avocado oil? You're vegan. You want to cook.
Anna:
Yeah, I feel like I've seen it used in cooking, but have I also seen it being used in... sort of skin product-y things?
Tom:
Yeah, it's one of those things that turns up in a lot of locations. In the same way that olive oil can be used to clear earwax, avocado oil has a lot of uses. Cooking is one of them.
Anna:
Yeah, bizarrely, I always thought olive oil clearing earwax, that is a... you know, it's a bit of a mid-20th century at the latest kind of remedy. Surely we've got better versions than that. And my husband had a really leaky waxy ear a few weeks ago, which I'm sure he'll be delighted I'm sharing.
SFX:
(Tom and James laugh)
Anna:
And he went to the doctor. And the doctor literally said, "Go and buy some olive oil and tip it in."
Andrew:
Did he say drizzle it, or did he say just go for it?
James:
(laughs)
SFX:
(Anna and Tom laugh)
James:
Okay, so... You can use olive oil. You can use avocado oil for other things, but if it's got calories on it, then you would suspect that it is for eating, for consuming. Otherwise why would you have calories written on the bottle?
Andrew:
But why would it not have calories in it? I mean, if it's oil, it must be calorific in some way.
James:
Oh yeah.
Anna:
Especially avocado oil. Avocado is really fatty. Any chap knows that.
Dan:
But which bit is it made from? Is it made from the nut in the avocado? Is it made from the stone?
Anna:
I would have thought so.
James:
I know, Tic Tacs, they can say that they're sugar-free because one serving of Tic Tacs is so unbelievably small, it's just like one Tic Tac that technically is below the limit of whatever you're allowed to call things sugar-free.
Andrew:
That's nice. So it might just be very non-calorific? So it's very low in calories.
Dan:
So this makes it to 0.8 calories, but it's not one. Oh no, it'd have to be like 0.4, right? So it's not yet half, and it's not yet...
Andrew:
Right.
Tom:
Yes, that is definitely part of the answer. The US FDA actually allows that anything under 5 calories per serving can be listed as calorie-free.
James:
Wow.
Andrew:
Wow.
Anna:
Wow.
James:
Okay.
Tom:
So, yes, but... it also says, "total carbohydrate: 0 grams" and "protein: 0 grams".
James:
Oh, are they just allowed to lie?
SFX:
(group laughing)
Dan:
Is it a... similar calling back to our previous episode, is this a sort of tax loophole whereby they can classify it as a food in order to pay less tax on it?
Tom:
James, you're most of the way there.
James:
As in, because you're rubbing it on your face, so you're not actually consuming it, so... there's no ca—
Tom:
Oh, if it was designed for that, you wouldn't have to put calories on it.
James:
Mm.
Dan:
Yes.
James:
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Dan:
So it's for the inside of your mouth cheeks.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Dan:
It's like a balm.
Anna:
Do you speak English, Dan?
SFX:
(laughter intensifies)
Anna:
Ah, the mouth cheeks.
James:
Mostly Danish.
Anna:
Oh, I've just realised why you said that. It's because you always default to bum cheeks when you mean cheeks.
SFX:
(group laughs uproariously)
James:
Dan actually went to the doctors with a very waxy bum cheek, and they said they had to put this in there.
SFX:
(scattered giggling)
Anna:
I mean, I don't think of there being much carbohydrate or protein in oil to be honest, is it? But presumably that's not the answer. They're just not in it either.
James:
But is it by serving, Tom, maybe? It's just like, your serving will always be very, very small with avocado oil, because you just drizzle it in.
Andrew:
Oh yeah.
Tom:
Yes, there is something special about this bottle. What might it be doing?
James:
Oh?
Dan:
Is it space avocado oil? Is it made for the ISS?
Tom:
(laughs)
Andrew:
Yeah.
Tom:
No, unfortunately, very much earthbound. But I love the guess.
James:
Is it that the bottle just gives you a serving each time? You press a button, and it gives you the serving?
Tom:
Yes, this is cooking spray.
This is a squirty bottle of avocado oil, for want of a better thing. I don't think it's actually going to be aerosolised, but it dispenses just a small (pzzt) of avocado oil every time you pull the trigger.
That is technically one serving. So, this bottle contains 1,532 servings per container.
SFX:
(Anna and James chuckle)
Tom:
Which means that everything is rounded down. And yes, according to the US rules, they can just say it contains nothing.
James:
Brilliant.
Anna:
Whereas in truth, you'd get through two fry ups, and it would be empty.
Tom:
Yeah, basically.
Anna:
As long as they can claim it.
Tom:
Anna, over to you for the next question.
Anna:
On the 13th of April 2024 – quite recently – why did Ursula take a sandcastle mould and a safety helmet into a 7-Eleven store?
SFX:
(Tom and James crack up)
Anna:
I'll say it again.
13th of April 2024, why did Ursula take a sandcastle mould and a safety helmet into a 7-Eleven?
James:
Okay, so, sandcastle mould. We don't know what it's a mould of, so it could be of a gun.
SFX:
(Tom and Anna laugh)
Andrew:
That's good.
Tom:
There's lots of gun-shaped sandcastles out there(!)
SFX:
(group laughing)
Andrew:
How do you defend the castle if not with a sand gun?
SFX:
(James and Tom laugh)
Tom:
Heyyy!
Andrew:
Ursula is the name, of course, of the sea witch in The Little Mermaid. Is that relevant here, Anna?
Dan:
Oh look, James, yeah, has it on his cup.
Anna:
It's a nice touch, and yet it doesn't seem to be relevant at all.
Andrew:
Oh.
James:
Okay.
Dan:
Ah, okay. That felt like a Keyser Söze moment from James.
Tom:
Just to pull out the mug that's been next to him with The Little Mermaid on all along.
Andrew:
It's amazing. Have you been drinking from that mug since episode 100, James?
James:
(laughs) I have, yeah. It's the same Lemsip as well.
Andrew:
Gosh. Oh, that's going to be very mucky.
James:
Let's think, okay, so Ursula's not important. It's not Ursula Andress or Ursula von der Leyen.
SFX:
(James and Tom crack up)
Andrew:
Great Ursula naming. Just off the cuff.
Tom:
Well done.
Anna:
I don't believe so. If so, the reporting didn't specify that it was one of those people, which it feels like it would have.
Tom:
Okay, so 7-Eleven is a convenience store, which sells... I mean, food and drink, mostly?
Andrew:
It's open, I always get confused. It's open 7 days a week, 11— not 11 months of the year.
SFX:
(group laughing)
James:
It's not open from 7 am till 11 am.
Andrew:
(laughs) Yeah, that's right, yeah, yeah.
Anna:
Tom saying what they sell, I think if you think about what 7-Eleven sell... I guess that we should say that we don't really have them in the UK. But you'll have been to them in other countries. And I feel like this thing is always in there.
Dan:
Well, they always have the Slurpees. That's a big deal.
James:
Yes! And these two things are receptacles. One for your head and the other one for sand.
Anna:
Very good.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Andrew:
Yep.
James:
You could fill them with Slurpee juice.
Andrew:
And she was doing that.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Andrew:
She'd passed some... an animal on the road that needed reviving.
SFX:
(others laughing)
James:
Two animals.
Andrew:
Two animals. (laughs)
Tom:
Did 7-Eleven ever have a promotion where it was like, bring your own mug? 'Cause the Slurpee...
Andrew:
Ah, yeah!
Tom:
Big Gulp, I think, is the other thing they have, which is where you have a 64 ounce... I don't know what to call it. It's certainly not a glass, it's not a— It's just a receptacle, a bucket of soda for very cheap.
And they still make money on it because post-mix syrup is really cheap, but you could just bring in the biggest container you have, and they'll let you fill it up with soda for two bucks.
Andrew:
That's brilliant.
Anna:
That's, I mean—
Tom:
But—But why a sandcastle mould and a safety helmet?
Dan:
Hmm.
Andrew:
Tom is a bit—
Anna:
Well, to be honest... you're... you're there.
James:
What?
Anna:
Before we get any— Before we get any more tangents about animals dying by the roadside.
SFX:
(Tom and Andrew laugh)
Anna:
That's incredibly good work, everyone. It's exactly what you just said, Tom. It was a bring your own cup promotion, and it was for the price of $1.99, customers could fill any 'reasonable vessel' with as much of it as they wanted.
Tom:
(wheezes)
Anna:
There were certain rules. And I think these two items fell within those rules. And so, I don't know if anyone can guess. I mean, I think we're gonna struggle. It's a size-based rule.
James:
Well, volume?
Andrew:
Ten gallons. Like a ten-gallon hat.
Tom:
(laughs)
Anna:
There's a 10 in it, so I'm gonna allow it. So they had to be able to fit inside the hole, which was 10 inches in diameter. 'Cause that was underneath the drink dispenser, that was what you had.
Andrew:
Oh, clever!
Anna:
So obviously a very, very large diameter for a hole, for a drink, so you're okay there. And also apparently it had to be watertight, which, a safety helmet?
Tom:
(chuckles)
Anna:
Does a safety helmet qualify as that?
Dan:
I guess so.
Andrew:
Guess so.
Tom:
Yeah!
Anna:
I suppose it's gotta. She got away with it.
Andrew:
What if you brought along a fireman's hose? And filled it up all the way along, because that would fit in the hole.
James:
That's true. Well, that horn that they had in Norse mythology that's kind of attached to the oceans.
Tom:
Yep.
SFX:
(Anna and Andrew laugh)
Tom:
I know someone who built something like that. Allen Pan, who makes... He's a maker. He makes things. Tried to make a thing where you had a cup with a little trick bottom that just pumped whatever soda it was into a backpack. So you could just go up to a drinking fountain and load up on several litres of soda at the same time.
James:
That's brilliant.
Tom:
Turns out... Really impractical, really sticky, doesn't really work these days.
SFX:
(Anna and James laugh)
Andrew:
Aww.
Anna:
So, you have all fumbled your way to the answer pretty quickly.
It was that Slurpee was doing a bring your own cup promotion. It does it every year.
So for $1.99, you can fill any reasonable vessel with as much as you want. And the rules are just the item has to be food safe clean. So I guess you washed them out first. It wasn't a sandcastle thing that she just used.
They have to be watertight, and they have to be able to fit inside a 10-inch diameter hole, so you can put it under the dispenser.
Tom:
James, over to you for the next question.
James:
This question has been sent in by Bab Chunko. And Bab Chunko writes:
While kayaking on the north coast of British Columbia, Canada, Julie repeatedly makes the 'hang loose' hand gesture. How does this help her avoid incurring a fine?
I'll say that again.
While kayaking on the north coast of British Columbia, Canada, Julie repeatedly makes the 'hang loose' hand gesture. How does this help her avoid incurring a fine?
Dan:
Okay, so 'hang loose', as far as I know, is when you bring the three fingers down, you leave your pinky and your thumb up, and you give it a little wiggle. Like that, right?
James:
Yeah!
Andrew:
Yeah.
James:
Yeah, dude!
Tom:
If you don't waggle it, it's the "I'm on the phone" gesture for anyone who's older than 30.
Dan:
Ah, yes.
James:
Yes.
Andrew:
Are they not connected?
James:
(wheezes)
Tom:
(laughs)
Andrew:
I thought it was like, "Yeah, I'm on the phone." I've got a phone.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Andrew:
Is that not it?
James:
Can I just— Wait. I don't think it's "I'm on the phone", because I think that's always very clear if you're on the phone, because you've got a phone in your hand.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Apologies, the "call me" gesture. It's not the "I'm on the phone" gesture. It's a "call me" gesture. Yep.
Anna:
Yeah.
Andrew:
Yeah.
James:
Yeah, that's what we're referring to, that exact gesture. You see surfers.
Andrew:
It's— I think of it as being a surfer's gesture.
James:
Yeah, dude.
Dan:
Yep.
Andrew:
Yeah, so, was she kayaking in the middle of a surfing competition, and you would have been fined if you kayaked through the middle of all the surfers, but if she could prove she's a surfer by doing 'hang loose', she'll avoid that fine?
James:
I'm not sure. My geography of Canada is not great, but in British Columbia, Canada, it feels like it'd be too cold to surf. But maybe not.
Andrew:
Yeah.
Tom:
So I was thinking... This is a weird geographical quirk, 'cause north coast of British Columbia is a weird one, 'cause British Columbia is quite far north anyway, I don't know if it's... So I was thinking this is one of those weird quirks where there's a bit of British Columbia that sticks out below America or above America.
And they're worried that... The US border guards are worried that she's going to cross the border or something like that, and they'll fine her for that.
And she's just like, "No, I'm fine, just hang loose, I'm staying in Canada".
Anna:
Is that proof of Canadian citizenship? You don't need to show your passport. You can just, you do that gesture and you go.
Andrew:
Hang loose.
James:
I think this—
Tom:
Maybe it's the accepted gesture for, "No, I'm not going to cross the border. I see you, border guards. I understand this. I'm not crossing the border."
James:
Maybe. I think this gesture actually is, it's like a shaka gesture, is more commonly seen in Hawaii. I think, in fact, I believe recently, it's been made the national gesture of Hawaii.
Andrew:
Really?
Anna:
Oh?
Dan:
Oh really?
James:
I think so.
Andrew:
Well, that does bring me back to surfing. Which I feel like has been closed off as a dead end inquiry.
SFX:
(others laughing)
James:
Yeah, but we're not in Hawaii.
Andrew:
Okay. (laughs)
Anna:
Is it— Was she by any chance in a kayaking competition, but for people without the conventional number of fingers? And so, you know, you have to be— And it's obviously harder to kayak, so she's having to pretend she's only got, you know, one finger and one thumb on each hand.
So every time she passes the judges... then she does the gesture, because that— it makes it look like she's not got any fingers.
James:
Good grief, this got dark. So is she pretending to get into this Paralympic competition by pretending to not have the fingers?
Anna:
Yeah, look—
Andrew:
Are the checks really so weak that you can just hide your fingers under the kayak pole?
James:
Like you do as a dad, it's like, "Oh no, my finger fell off!" And you just bent it over.
Anna:
Exactly.
James:
It's not that, no.
Dan:
Is she... Is this a thing whereby, as Tom was saying before, there's territory that you're not meant to go into? There is a kind of coastal guard, and... they send the warning with sound, with announcements. "Stop! You need to stop!" Kind of like big display things. But she is deaf and can't hear. And when she spots them, she gives a signal, which is a sign language signal.
James:
Okay.
Dan:
Which tells you that I can't hear what you're saying. I don't know what that signal would be. I'm guessing it's the cowabunga.
James:
So, this is a very specific signal. No other hand gesture would work in this situation. But, Anna was saying, is she in a kayaking competition? She's not just there to kayak.
Andrew:
Is she— Okay, this is a little bit of a pun. Is it a wild bit of the world, and it's an animal related thing? Are there animals around?
James:
In northern British Columbia, there are animals, for sure.
Andrew:
And, is— are they relevant to Julie's...
Tom:
Now, hang on, there is a rule in some areas. I don't know if this is Canada or not.
You're not allowed to get within a certain distance of the wildlife. You cannot approach it. However, if the wildlife approaches you, that is not something you can be fined for. Obviously you should still try and get away. But, is she trying to scare off... See, I was about to say bear, and then I remembered kayak.
James:
Yes, it could be a swimming polar bear. But no, it's not that, and I think with that, any gesture would work. But this is a very specific gesture. This one shakka gesture is the only thing that works in this situation. Andy, think animals. Think animals is— You're going down a decent track with animals there.
Andrew:
Okay, there are fish, there are seals.
Anna:
Beavers?
Tom:
She wants precisely two seagulls to land on her hand.
SFX:
(guests laughing)
James:
Moose.
Andrew:
Otters?
Tom:
Oh, hold on, moose. You're right. Two horns.
Anna:
Ohh? She's seen a moose.
Dan:
Mooses we've established on our show are famously hard to see.
James:
(laughs) Oh no!
Tom:
(laughs)
Dan:
So she— Julie's— Julie is one of the rare Canadian moose spotters. Who is able to— Because kayakers are probably just bashing into them in the shallow bits of the water, right? Because they can't spot them.
James:
Okay, think again, what kind of animals a kayaker might come across, which is not necessarily moose.
Andrew:
Sea animals, like sea lions or seals or...
James:
Yeah. And she's not there to kayak.
Andrew:
She's there studying. She's a scientist or she's observing them.
Anna:
Is she in conservation, or is she fishing?
James:
Someone in the last 40 seconds has said something close as to what she's doing.
Dan:
I don't think it was me, guys. Let's rule me out.
SFX:
(James and Anna giggle)
Tom:
I think fishing is most likely, 'cause that's the sort of thing you're gonna get fined for if you do it wrong, so... Is she clearing lines or something like that, and making sure that she doesn't interfere with wildlife she's not supposed to? What can you do with that gesture?
Andrew:
She's not... You're not allowed to fish with a rod, but if you fish with your fingers...
SFX:
(group laughing)
James:
There is that— There is a way of fishing in America, where you put your fist in the water, and the catfish bites onto your fist, and it's called catfisting.
Andrew:
Right.
SFX:
(Tom and Andrew laugh)
James:
That is not this.
Andrew:
Okay, okay. Is she fishing though, James?
James:
She is fishing.
Andrew:
Okay.
James:
Oh, she is... She's fishing, yeah.
Anna:
Oh, but it's not a conventional fish. Is it for shrimp or something? Or some sort of sandworm? Or, is it a crustacean?
James:
It's a crustacean.
Anna:
Okay, like oysters or...
Andrew:
Is she trying to stop a lobster biting her?
James:
Keep with your decapods. Find another decapod.
Dan:
Oh, okay. It's crabs.
James:
It's crabs. As you were told that time in the doctor's den. It's crabs.
Tom:
Yeah, I was gonna say. Things you don't want to hear under other circumstances.
SFX:
(Dan and James laugh)
James:
So, she is fishing for crabs. Why would she use the shaka sign, the 'hang loose' sign?
Anna:
'Cause it shows she's got one, 'cause you can hold it. Can you on— You're only allowed a crab the size of those three fingers? So when you're holding it, it proves that you haven't got a crab that's too big?
James:
Almost there, almost, almost, almost there.
Tom:
It's the other way 'round.
Dan:
Is it a smaller version of that joke of, "I've caught a fish and it's this big," but you only need...
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Tom:
It's the other way 'round. You can't take the young ones or the breeding ones. You can only take the ones that are above a certain size, and that's a good mnemonic for how big that size is.
James:
Yes, absolutely. It's a consistent size. It's always going to be more or less the same for everyone. It's a very similar amount of size between your tip of your pinky and the tip of your thumb. And if any crab is smaller than that, you put it back in.
Andrew:
Brilliant.
Tom:
Sorry, Anna, you got that, and I just kind of tapped it over the line there by going all the way around.
Anna:
Loved it.
Tom:
That was all you.
Anna:
I'll take the assist. But my question is, I think, because obviously I considered that and then discounted it.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Anna:
No, but, no, but my question is, how does that stop her? Is that evidence? When she does that, is that proving, is that her saying, "Don't worry, I haven't got anything smaller"?
James:
No, it's not so much that as, do you remember the bakers who would make an extra 13th loaf to make sure that they don't go under the particular weight of bread?
Anna:
Yeah.
James:
It's like, she knows that if she does it the size of her 'hang loose' gesture, she's definitely safe. And when they inspect her later, they'll not see anything that's too small.
Anna:
I see, so she's doing it for herself. It's not like she's showing that gesture to anyone. She's doing that for her own measurement.
James:
Yeah, so in British Columbia, harvesting any Dungeness crab, which is female or smaller than 165 mm at the widest part of his carapace can result in a fine. Normally you would use calipers, but if you don't have calipers, then the average-size female hand, from the pinky to the thumb, will give you the right amount. And for men or larger handed women, it's even safer.
Andrew:
Brilliant, brilliant.
James:
Bab, who sent in the question, said, "This is something my friends and I do when checking our crab traps."
Dan:
Mmm.
Anna:
Good on you, Bab.
Andrew:
Brilliant.
Tom:
Which leaves us with just the question I asked at the start of the show, which I saw at least one person in this call cringe at. So, I'll just ask it again.
Which Arnold Schwarzenegger film cannot be seen from Earth during a full moon? Does anyone want to take a quick punt at that?
James:
Twins.
Tom:
(laughs)
James:
Is that him? I don't know.
Andrew:
Yeah, that's him. Him and DeVito. A classic.
Anna:
His proudest moment.
James:
Conan the Barbarian.
Anna:
Terminator. We can't be listing...
James:
I think 'terminator' is the name of something to do with... space, right?
Andrew:
Yeah.
Tom:
Yes.
Terminator is the name of the line that separates the lit and unlit portions of the Earth, the Moon, of any celestial body.
So, during a full moon, you cannot see that line, you cannot see the terminator.
Anna:
Lovely. A lovely trick there.
Andrew:
That is shocking.
Tom:
(laughs) Thank you very much. Just a bad review of the question, thanks for that.
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Tom:
With that, thank you to all the team from No Such Thing as a Fish. Their podcast is available wherever you can get podcasts. What else is going on in your lives?
Andrew Hunter Murray.
Andrew:
Oh, I have just written a book called A Beginner's Guide to Breaking and Entering. And, it's lighthearted, crimey fun.
Tom:
Anna Ptaszynski.
Anna:
I, with my good friend and colleague James Harkin, have also just written a book, you'll notice a theme here, which is called A Load of Old Balls. it's the QI guide to sport.
Tom:
Dan Schreiber.
Dan:
I too have written a book, which, after having hung out with me for two hours now, Tom, I don't think you'll be surprised to hear is a book for children. And it is called Impossible Things, and it is a book explaining how thinking weirdly and differently has and can change the world in very interesting and funny ways.
Tom:
And James Harkin.
James:
You can come and see all of us on tour around the UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand. And you can get tickets for that by going to nosuchthingasafish.com/live.
Tom:
And if you want to know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com, where you can also send in your own idea for a question. We are at @lateralcast basically everywhere, and there are regular video highlights at youtube.com/lateralcast.
Thank you very much to James Harkin.
James:
Thank you.
Tom:
Dan Schreiber.
Dan:
Yes.
Tom:
Anna Ptaszynski.
Anna:
Thank you.
Tom:
Andrew Hunter Murray.
Andrew:
Thank you.
Tom:
I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.
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