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Episode 85: Pyromaniac novelties
Published 24th May, 2024
Stuart Goldsmith, Sophie Ward and Katie Steckles face questions about helpful hangers, location lines and cohabiting coordination.
HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. RECORDED AT: The Podcast Studios, Dublin. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: RedCree, Sam, Mat2003. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott.
Transcript
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
Why are high-quality clothes hangers often made from cedar wood?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
Welcome back to the show that finally provides the answers to the questions you never asked in the first place. On our panel today, returning after quite an incredible amount of teamwork last time, we have three players who... seem to have really got their eye in for this game.
We start with writer, presenter, mathematician, and writer of Short Cuts: Maths, Katie Steckles, welcome back to the show!
Katie:
Hello.
Tom:
What I always ask at this point, where we've got, I know, quite a while before this show goes out from recording, is what are you working on right now that is going to be out in a few months' time when this episode comes out?
Katie:
Potentially, I've got a new book coming out with The Science Museum that's going to be called 100 Ideas in 100 Words.
So I picked 100 things from maths, and between me and two other authors, we've each written 100-word summaries of things.
SFX:
(both crack up)
Katie:
It's really hard. It's not a lot of words.
Tom:
For a moment, I thought it was gonna be one word per idea there.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Katie:
A couple of people have said that, and I'm like, "That is too few words, I can't do that."
Stuart:
Infinity, terrifying.
Tom:
Next up from her own channel, Soph's Notes, and from the Seven Deadly Psychologies on BBC Radio 4, Sophie Ward, welcome back.
Sophie:
Hi Tom, nice to be here.
Tom:
What are you working on at the minute? What's going to be out in a few months' time?
Sophie:
Yeah, I'm trying to think this.
I feel like, I don't feel that far ahead. I'll have some videos on my YouTube channel.
I think there might be a second series of mine and Simon's podcast called How to Make a Science Video.
But there'll be some stuff going on on my YouTube channel. We'll find out, see what happens.
Tom:
And the last one of our trio is from the Comedian's Comedian podcast:
comedian Stuart Goldsmith.
Stuart:
Hello, hello. It's lovely to be back. It's been so long.
Tom:
(chuckles) It would be awkward if you weren't actually a comedian on the Comedian's Comedian podcast.
I just, I was trying to do an introduction that did not use the word three times. And I could not find it.
Stuart:
That is the bane of my life.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Stuart:
I have to do that to myself all the time.
Tom:
Because you're interviewing comedians.
Katie:
I thought it was funny if you say something three times. Is that not one of the rules?
Stuart:
That is one of the rules. The third time has to be different.
Katie:
Oh, okay.
Stuart:
So technically, 'Comedian's Comedian podcast' fulfills the rule. It's just not a deliberate joke.
Tom:
Who are you interviewing then? Who's coming up in the next couple months as we record this?
Stuart:
Well, by the time this comes out, people will be able to find real kind of best-in-class interviews, ones I'm really proud of, with Josh Pugh, Leo Reich, Harriet Dyer, and Mawaan Rizwan. Those are all safely on my hard drive at the moment.
But by the time people hear this, they will be able to get to grips with what those people's creative process is, and whether or not they're happy. And I'll sort of poke them until they admit they're not.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Sophie:
That's a great selection. That's excellent. Thanks, mate, thank you.
Tom:
Well, good luck to all three of you.
To make things a little easier than usual, on today's show, we are gonna make the questions multiple choice. Just choose the correct option from the 14 billion possibilities available, and I'll give you the points. Your first question is this:
This has been sent in by RedCree. Thank you very much.
Residents of a block of flats do something consistently that takes them just a moment, but saves them a minute or so on most days. What is it?
I'll say that again.
Residents of a block of flats do something consistently that takes them just a moment, but saves them a minute or so on most days. What is it?
Stuart:
The fact that it's a group of— that it's residents in a block of flats makes me hope that it is something that they all do which benefits all of them.
It's like if everyone in the block of flats does a thing, then we all benefit. I don't know why I think that, but I'd like to imagine a world where that's possible.
So like if everyone closes the gate, for example, you know, if everyone closes the gate, then it saves everybody time because they all know the gate, or something like that.
Katie:
I'm also wondering if it's something to do with stairs, because flats are often multi-storey buildings.
Stuart:
Yes, or maybe put the bins out? Is it something that's a chore, that if everyone does a— everyone pushes a thing in the right way.
Sophie:
Everyone pushes the bin by a centimetre each.
SFX:
(others laugh uproariously)
Sophie:
And so, nobody has to push the bin all the way.
Stuart:
Everyone puts a cat into the bin at once.
Tom:
(chortles)
Katie:
They all achieve ignominy.
Tom:
Oh, that's a throwback! I haven't thought about Cat Bin Lady in years!
Sophie:
I know, that cat, yeah. And yet the vision came to my eyes.
Stuart:
Oh, I'm a topical comedian, but for ten years ago.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sophie:
Yeah, I like that idea because I feel like, you know, on a single person level, there's so many things you can do that will save you a bit of time, like, I don't know, putting something on your car so it doesn't frost up, or turning the kettle on before you're ready for your tea. I don't know.
So I like the idea that it's a group thing.
Stuart:
The one I was going to suggest, that's the one I always do, Soph, is to turn— I get this, this might not be what you meant, but I always have a little chortle to myself. I press the button down on the kettle before I put it back on the thing that connects it.
Sophie:
No, you don't, Stuart.
Stuart:
Saving me a valuable microsecond.
Sophie:
You don't do that!
Stuart:
Those all add up, Soph.
Sophie:
Oh my gosh. This is why you have a Comedian's Comedian podcast. You're a successful man.
Katie:
(cackles)
Sophie:
Forget about the 5 AM Club. It's the turning the kettle off before it's quite finished club.
Stuart:
What I've managed to do with that extra second over the years. Ooh.
Sophie:
Okay, so we're in a group. I feel like that's the right lines.
Tom:
Oh, yeah, I'm saying nothing. You've actually said basically all the words in the answer.
Stuart:
Oh, okay. Is it the bins? Because the bins is the biggest chore.
Tom:
It's not the bins. And you may not have used the words in the correct context, but the words were there somewhere.
Stuart:
They all listen to The Doors.
Sophie:
Is it a cup of tea thing then? Kettle thing?
Tom:
No.
Stuart:
Was it to do with electricity? If they all... if they all do a thing? Maybe it's that they don't do a thing at the same time. They have to avoid doing a thing at the same time.
Sophie:
Katie said stairs, maybe it's the stairs thing.
Katie:
Is it something like sending the lift back down to the ground floor when you're finished with it?
Stuart:
Oh, of course it is! Yes!
SFX:
(Stuart and Sophie giggle)
Katie:
As someone who lives in a block of flats, I would find that incredible if everyone did that, but...
Sophie:
The best bit of Katie's answer was the way you held your hand— your head in your hand.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Sophie:
Like you were stroking your little, you know, invisible beard, like, "Yes, this is correct."
Stuart:
It looked a lot like you'd worked it out minutes ago, and you were waiting for us to catch up before dealing the death blow.
Katie:
(wheezes)
Sophie:
Yeah, we were just chatting absolute rubbish.
Tom:
Stuart, when you said, "Do they push the button down?" I was like, "Oh, he's got it—"
"On the kettle."
"No, alright, nope."
Katie:
(dry cackles)
Tom:
The words were there. They're just not quite in the right context.
Stuart:
That's great. It's "Be Kind, Rewind" but for lifts. That is good.
Tom:
Yes, and obviously there are modern lifts that kind of do demand prediction, and will do this anyway, but yes.
As they're coming back in from the commute in the evening, most of these residents will just leave the lift and tap the ground floor button as they leave, just to send it down to the next person.
Katie:
That's so wonderful. I mean, the people in my building haven't yet worked out that if you're waiting for a lift to go down, and you don't press the up and the down button, because then someone who's going up, it'll stop.
Tom:
Yeah.
Katie:
And then you'll have that awkward moment where you're like, "Oh sorry, this one's going upwards." And if you can't even get to that level with being able to operate a lift, this feels like a step beyond that.
Sophie:
They're just button smashers in all of life. Playing Street Fighter against them's a nightmare. Getting lifts with them's a nightmare.
SFX:
(scattered chuckling)
Stuart:
I've got to say, as a comedian and someone who routinely doesn't go out during the day and then does at night, I do feel aggrieved for all of these people basically working against me to make sure that the lift is always in the wrong place.
Tom:
First guest question of the show then, comes from Stuart. Take it away.
Stuart:
In 2020, Claus was a contestant on the German version of the quiz show The Chase. He didn't even try to answer a €500 question, even though he absolutely knew the answer was 'Cologne'. Why did he do this, and why didn't he lose out in the end?
In 2020, Claus was a contestant on the German version of the quiz show The Chase. He didn't even try to answer a €500 question, even though he absolutely knew the answer was 'Cologne'. Why did he do this, and why didn't he lose out in the end?
Sophie:
God, there's so much to unpack in this one.
Tom:
(chuckles) There really is.
Sophie:
There's a lot.
Katie:
Specifically, as a contestant, assuming that the German The Chase works like The Chase that I'm used to. So this is someone who's trying to win money, not the person who's supposed to be clever and know all the answers, but a regular person.
Tom:
Yeah, because on a €500 question, that's when they're making money to put in the bank at the start.
Katie:
Yeah.
Tom:
So it's just quick-fire questions. He's got a second to answer, or he's going to pass.
Sophie:
Ah, of course. Yeah, because obviously if it wasn't The Chase, I'd think, oh, well, it's a game about lying. But there isn't lying involved in The Chase. So that's a (chk)
Tom:
No, that section of the game is just, get as many answers as you can as fast as you can.
Katie:
So if it's in Germany, Cologne is a city in Germany.
Tom:
It is.
Katie:
Which is... probably relevant. It's also a thing that you wear that smells nice. Possibly also true in Germany. If it was something like, you know, "What do all the best people wear?" And he was embarrassed because he wasn't wearing any cologne
SFX:
(others laughing)
Katie:
and didn't want to admit to that.
Tom:
Could it be something he doesn't want to admit to though? It's a fact about Cologne that he could only know if it turns out that he's cheating on his spouse, and he doesn't want to admit that.
Katie:
Wow.
Sophie:
Yes.
Stuart:
The Spouse of Claus.
Tom:
Oh! (dry laughs) I wish I'd spotted that.
Katie:
(giggles)
Sophie:
I thought more like teams, like it's his rival. Cologne was the rival team. And he puts the other— it's like the City–United derby, and it's like, who won... the German League?
And he doesn't want to have to say Cologne, because he's like, "Oh, they're my..."
Stuart:
You are, I mean, basically, yes.
There's just an additional bit to the question. That is the answer.
Tom:
Oh?
Stuart:
But why didn't he lose out in the end for the cherry on top?
Katie:
Is it because he placed a massive bet on that happening?
SFX:
(group laughing)
Stuart:
Not a bet, but imagine, Soph, that what you say is exactly correct.
Sophie:
Sorry, I'm shocked that it was even almost correct.
Stuart:
No, I mean, you were bang on. I was so taken aback, I barely celebrated it.
Congratulations, Soph, you've got the right answer.
But, for the cherry on top, why didn't he lose out in the end? What sort of thing might... Play that through to its conclusion.
Tom:
Wait, I still don't get it. Why would you not give the answer if you knew it?
Katie:
Because he just— He hates the opposing team so much that he's not prepared to give them credit.
Sophie:
You're not a football fan, are you, Tom?
Stuart:
(laughs uproariously)
Tom:
Spot the not-sports-fan here. You hate this so much that you do not want to acknowledge that Cologne won something or did something. That's the—
Stuart:
Yes, and Soph pointed that out so kindly. (laughs)
Sophie:
"You're not a football fan, are you, Tom?"
Stuart:
(laughter trails off)
Katie:
I wonder if it's like, his own team then got in touch with him and offered him a big tour of the stadium and a fun day out.
Stuart:
Bingo bango!
Tom:
(laughs)
Katie:
Excellent, excellent. Just for his loyalty.
Sophie:
Oh my gosh.
Stuart:
Absolutely correct.
Sophie:
Yes, Claus!
Stuart:
Thank god we've got some proper football fans in here.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Katie:
I've heard of it.
Stuart:
Which I will reveal that I am not, as I murder these team names. Claus Blümel was asked the question, which club won the Bundesliga Division Two title
Sophie:
Bundesliga, obviously(!)
Stuart:
...in 2018/2019?
Tom:
Obviously(!)
Stuart:
The answer to which is 'Cologne', or 'FC Köln' in German. However, Claus is a dedicated fan of their rival club.
Would anyone like an extra no-point? The rival club of Cologne?
Tom:
Oh, well, pick a large German city.
Sophie:
Is it Wolfsburg?
Stuart:
It's not. It's Borussia Mönchengladbach. Or —gladbatch.
I've gone for the Welsh pronunciation. Borussia Mönchengladbach.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sophie:
It's Abergavenny FC.
Tom:
No, no, German famously has a lot of /çx/ sounds in it. Happens all the time.
Stuart:
Rather than say the name of his bitter enemy, he replied, "No, I'm not saying their name." Remember, this is a under pressure speed round, right? "I'm not saying their name." This meant he missed out on banking €500 in that round.
For his loyalty, Mönchengladbach— Mönchengladbach later rewarded him with a jersey and a voucher for €500.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sophie:
What a story. I love that.
Stuart:
Absolutely incredible work from Soph and Katie there. Just a one-two punch of perfect answers.
Sophie:
Hang on, Tom.
Tom:
No, I did nothing for that, other than vaguely know how The Chase works. I can't take anything from that one.
Sophie:
Tom, this podcast wouldn't exist without you, mate. Come on.
SFX:
(Tom and Stuart laugh)
Tom:
This next question has been sent in by Sam. Thank you very much, Sam.
In Virginia, there are around 100 sections of remote highway with white lines painted across at the start, middle, and end of a ½-mile stretch. While no longer used, they are still repainted when the road is maintained. What were they for?
I'll say that again.
In Virginia, there are around 100 sections of remote highway with white lines painted across at the start, middle, and end of a ½-mile stretch. While no longer used, they are still repainted when the road is maintained. What were they for?
Stuart:
Okay. Virginia.
And do we assume that it's, they're painted across as in they're not white lines down the middle? They're painted. They're not just—
Tom:
Yeah, painted across.
Stuart:
They're painted across, right.
Tom:
Also, Virginia, USA.
Stuart:
Yes.
Tom:
The US is one of the few countries where you name a state, and you don't have to add the country on. It's just kind of assumed people know that.
Sophie:
Mm, yeah.
Stuart:
Is that something to do with the fact that there's West Virginia? Is it something to do with the border between states?
Sophie:
Is this the country road that we're taken home on? In Take Me Home Country Road , West Virginia?
Katie:
Yeah, that's in West Virginia, which is a different state.
Sophie:
Is it? Oh.
Katie:
Yeah.
Stuart:
Take me half a mile towards the country roads. Take me half a mile towards my home.
Katie:
I'm wondering if it's something to do with speed measurement, because you'll often use marks at fixed distances and time when you get to each one as a way of measuring speed.
Stuart:
For maybe truckers, people who are going to be shipping freight across... the country roads of Virginia?
Katie:
Yeah, there's big highways.
Stuart:
But why, if they're no longer used, would they have any cultural significance that meant that they were still coloured in, they were still repainted, even though they're no longer used?
Katie:
Is it something for racing, like drag racing, or...
Sophie:
Yeah, I thought of racing.
Katie:
Like The Fast and the Furious .
Sophie:
Or for a film. I was like, oh, were they used for a film? And then they're like, "Oh, this thing is a bit famous in this area. Let's maintain it."
Stuart:
But that would be use, wouldn't it? It would be as a use as a tourist attraction.
Sophie:
Yeah, that's true.
Stuart:
Or maybe not used for—
Katie:
Well, is that use? It's not actually being used for the thing it was originally intended for, but it's just still there.
Tom:
Speed is definitely the right angle to go down here, Katie.
Katie:
Okay, 'cause there's the thing you can do when you're driving, where you use the two-second rule to say, when you see something go past the car in front of you, you count two seconds. And if you've gone past it before that two seconds has elapsed, then you're too close.
Stuart:
I have it on good authority that only a fool breaks the two-second rule.
Katie:
That is the mnemonic that I was also taught.
Sophie:
I've never heard of that.
Katie:
But it was slightly lessened by the fact that it was:
only a fool breaks the two-second rule, brackets, unless it's raining, in which case it's four seconds.
Tom:
Yeah.
Stuart:
(laughs softly)
Sophie:
I'm learning so much. I didn't know that.
Tom:
The part of that mnemonic being that it takes about two seconds to say that, so you can use that as— Apologies, because for lots of listeners, that's now stuck in their head for the next time they drive. If you're driving right now and listening to this... I mean, first of all, eyes on the road. But also, that's now in your head. Just...
Stuart:
And just to measure the four seconds:
(rhythmically) Only a fool breaks the two-second rule, unless it's raining, in which case, four is more appropriate.
Tom:
Yep.
SFX:
(scattered chuckling)
Stuart:
So, is it— Is there a safety element to this? When you say speed, are we talking about, is it safety, do we think, or is it... measurement of...
Katie:
(cracks up) I don't want to make any judgments about America, but I feel like it's more likely to be some kind of compete— impressive feat of driving fast in big cars. I don't know.
Sophie:
Is the road necessarily being used for car use? Is it maybe someone flying over the road? No? I don't know. I'm thinking of other—
Stuart:
Oh! Something— So it's to do with their visibility from above. That's an interesting angle. For me, that sits very much in keeping with the tone of this show.
SFX:
(group chuckling)
Sophie:
Okay, maybe it's not cars. Maybe it's... Yeah, or I was pitching even parachuting that speeds, yeah. There's various thoughts that aren't coming together.
Stuart:
Could it be something to do with the amount of things that you can fit in that?
I'm just thinking, you know, an old way of measuring something would be the amount of cattle that you can herd, that you can drive in between two points. Because then it would— Then they would have a cultural significance. There'd be a reason to repaint it.
Katie:
We have had a very strong indicator that it's definitely to do with speed.
Sophie:
Speed, yeah.
Tom:
Yes, I literally said it's to do with speed.
Katie:
Yeah.
Sophie:
That is quite a strong indicator actually. You're right, Katie.
Stuart:
(cackles)
Tom:
Between all of you... you've got most of the component elements.
Cattle, sadly not one of them, but...
Stuart:
Agh, I was thinking fast-moving cattle visible from the air.
Katie:
It's worth trying stuff.
Sophie:
Honestly, I'm out of here. If we're not talking about cows, I'm skedaddling.
SFX:
(Sophie and Stuart snicker)
Tom:
And Sophie, you're right that it involves something being seen from the air.
Katie:
I'm trying to think what would move in the air fast enough that half a mile would be a relevant distance. Because if you're just parachuting down, I guess you just land in a spot.
But if it's something like paragliding, where you're going forwards.
Or maybe aeroplanes coming into an airport or something, it would be useful.
Stuart:
Some kind of, maybe some kind of flying cattle.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Katie:
And it's the start, middle and end of a half-mile stretch. So it's every quarter of a mile.
Sophie:
Yeah, and it's not in use anymore. So what is a thing...
Stuart:
Oh, is it to do with the birthplace of flight? Where was— Where were the Wilbur brothers? Were they in Virginia? Is this something to do with early flight?
Tom:
It's not, unfortunately.
Stuart:
I didn't think so either.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sophie:
(snickers)
Tom:
This is an odd one because you have got the elements of this in such a way that none of my hints will now help.
Stuart:
(laughs uproariously)
Tom:
The question writers did not expect 'spotting from the air' to be identified this early.
Sophie:
Okay. (wheezes)
Katie:
So when was this originally a thing again?
Tom:
I would guess this would be late 20th century.
Katie:
Okay, did you give a year in the question? I can't even remember.
Tom:
No, I don't have a year.
Sophie:
Can we have a little question re-read? Do you mind, Tom?
Tom:
Yeah.
In Virginia, there are around 100 sections of remote highway with white lines painted across at the start, middle and end of a ½-mile stretch. While no longer used, they are still repainted when the road is maintained. What were they for?
Sophie:
I forgot there was 100 different ones.
Stuart:
Yes, are they emergency landing places?
Tom:
No.
Stuart:
They're like mini emergency runways, no?
Sophie:
But it's something spotted from the air, so it doesn't necessarily mean that it's something that's coming from air to ground.
Tom:
Nope.
Sophie:
It just means that it's something that, from the air, we see something to do with speed.
Stuart:
Oh, I see.
Sophie:
Is it drag, but is it... someone from the air using the lines to measure the speed of some sort of race?
Tom:
Apart from 'race'...
Sophie:
Not a race?
Tom:
That's basically it.
Katie:
So is it like aircraft coming into an airport, or?
Stuart:
Oh, like it sort of building towards an airport? Are they— Is the shape of where they're positioned, is their positioning important, such that you can calibrate an instrument by... sight?
Sophie:
I'm picturing, it's the bird's eye view of something that is on the ground. So we're thinking about something that is on the ground, and then we're measuring speed, as Katie said, and it's...
Tom:
Why might someone in a plane be looking down at that highway and tracking someone's speed? Because they can do. It's described as being like a stopwatch.
Sophie:
Oh my gosh, to measure speeding? But why would you— Is that it?
Stuart:
Oh, for truckers, for remote truckers, is it? Are they speed traps, early speed traps?
Katie:
So is it speed traps in areas where it's so remote that you couldn't be bothered to just drive there and set up a speed trap, but they can fly over more cheaply?
Tom:
That is exactly it.
I mean, more cheaply, probably not. But if you drive through America, you will sometimes see signs on the highway that say "Speed enforced by aircraft." And that is how it used to work.
You would have a plane circling over one of these half-mile stretches. And when a car entered the stretch, they'd start the stopwatch. When it exited the stretch, they'd stop it. And if it proved they were speeding, they would radio a police officer further down the road to pull that car over.
Stuart:
And if they're no longer used, it's worth repainting them, provided no one knows they're no longer used.
Tom:
Yep, and they might start the program up again one day. You might as well maintain them. It's the cost of adding a line across the road three times.
Sophie:
Wow.
Tom:
That's great.
Sophie:
We did it. We did it, team. We got there.
Stuart:
Well done. I see what you mean about the diverse elements of it. I don't get where the cattle come into it.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Sophie, over to you for the next question.
Sophie:
When a badly wounded stork landed in Germany in 1822, it settled a debate that had taxed great minds such as Aristotle. What was the debate, and what concrete proof settled it?
I'll tell you that question again.
When a badly wounded stork landed in Germany in 1822, it settled a debate that had taxed great minds such as Aristotle. What was the debate, and what concrete proof settled it?
Stuart:
I wonder if the woundedness, the manner in which the stork was wounded proved a theory about whether... birds collide with each other, or some sort of theory, something that Aristotle could have thought.
Tom:
Are we all deliberately avoiding any jokes about where babies come from, because we think it's too obvious?
Stuart:
I just think Aristotle would have seen through that!
Katie:
Yeah. I feel like there's something that's ringing an incredibly vague bell in my head, and not enough to actually know what the answer to this is, but it's something like a stork having a spear right through it. That is the thought that has appeared in my head, and I can't remember why.
Tom:
Huh.
Stuart:
What are the other qualities that we associate with storks? Do they have those— I mean, it's an albatross, doesn't it, has the particularly long wingspan? Is there a thing storks do that other birds don't?
Tom:
A long neck, isn't it? Looks almost like a heron.
Sophie:
Yeah, big long legs.
Tom:
Yeah.
Katie:
Yeah.
Sophie:
Yeah. Leggy and necky.
Tom:
(snickers)
Stuart:
Maybe it was wounded because it had swallowed something like a tortoise or something massive, and Aristotle had been like, "I wonder if you could get a tortoise down that." And for fun.
SFX:
(Katie and Tom laugh)
Katie:
I have a sense that the questions that Aristotle was wrestling with were slightly more profound.
Stuart:
This is very much a Sunday morning question.
SFX:
(Tom and Stuart laugh)
Katie:
It's a lot more "Can you throw a shoe over a pub?" than I would expect from Aristotle.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Sophie:
Aristotle's sandals hanging from a telephone wire.
SFX:
(laughter intensifies)
Stuart:
He needed downtime just like anyone else. A badly wounded— I'm interested in what kind of injury it was.
Tom:
Also, this is 1822, right?
Stuart:
Yeah.
Sophie:
1822, yeah.
Tom:
And the question has been going since Aristotle?
Sophie:
Yeah, it's more saying this is a debate that loads of people were like, "What's going on?"
Tom:
Okay.
Stuart:
Was the injury the shoe that had been thrown over the pub, and it's still stuck?
Sophie:
Yeah.
Tom:
Just, (doonk)!
Sophie:
Aristotle saw a sandal-shaped thing in the stork's throat, and was like, "Oh, it can swallow that then."
Stuart:
If it hadn't happened since the time of Aristotle, it's probably some sort of mad coincidence that they'd wondered about, like a bullet hitting a bullet or something, do you know what I mean? Something that you just don't get to— You can only hypothesise about it unless it happens to happen. And that's why it took so long to actually happen.
Katie:
I'm almost wondering about, you know the whole thing about when they brought aeroplanes back from the war, and they were like, "Oh, these are the bits that it's got a lot of bullet holes on. So we need to reinforce these bits." And it turns out that actually that was wrong, because the ones that didn't come back were the ones that had holes in places other than that?
Stuart:
Yeah.
Katie:
(chuckles) Maybe the—
Sophie:
Survivorship bias.
Katie:
Yeah, the stork was somehow injured in a way that proved something was possible that no one had thought previously, but because all the storks that had been injured in that way before never actually came back.
Tom:
But also, people have been happily experimenting on animals for a long time. In 1822, if you wanted to settle a debate that required an injured stork, you could probably just go and injure a stork.
Stuart:
(laughs heartily)
Katie:
You just make one, yeah.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
There's not going to be many 19th century animal rights campaigners complaining that you injured a stork.
Stuart:
So what's a weird— What's a freak accident that could only happen every 2,000 years to a stork?
Sophie:
Well, I would say, Katie, trust your memory, mate.
Katie:
Okay, I mean, has it been injured by something that... it's brought back the thing that has now got it stuck in it, and that's...
Tom:
Spear all the way through.
Sophie:
Keep going, keep going.
Stuart:
I was gonna say lightning. And I just wanted to have said lightning, even though we know it isn't that. I just wanted everyone to know that I thought lightning.
Tom:
Can a stork survive a bolt of lightning? Yeah, that actually, you can't—
Stuart:
If it has a spear through it, the spear conducts the—
Tom:
Ohh! Yes!
Katie:
(giggles loudly) But is it a spear from a particular place or culture that it's brought back with it? This is the bell that's being rung in my head.
Tom:
Migration! Migration.
Katie:
Yeah.
Tom:
It's where storks go.
Stuart:
Oh, the direction! Yes!
Tom:
Because the stork has brought back— You're right, this was ringing something in my head, and I think I've read this somewhere. It had brought back... It must have been a weapon or something. A hunting spear, something like that, from a location that could be tracked.
Sophie:
You are correct.
Tom:
So the question is, where do storks go?
Stuart:
Where do storks return from?
Tom:
Yes.
Katie:
When they bring back the babies.
Sophie:
Yeah. (laughs)
Stuart:
Yeah. (laughs)
Sophie:
Yeah, more broadly, you're exactly right, team. Congratulations.
Tom:
Oh wait, do they remember their routes? Did they see the stork go and then come back a year later with the same spear still through it?
Stuart:
Oh, it was injured, and it carried a spear.
SFX:
(Stuart and Sophie laugh)
Tom:
"Oh right, I recognise that, we saw that."
Stuart:
Someone at the other end had bunged a Post-It note on the spear, and it came back.
Tom:
These days, we just put rings 'round the legs. But those days, spear all the way through.
SFX:
(Stuart and Sophie laugh)
Katie:
Yeah.
Sophie:
Yeah, wow. We really got right in and then got right out again.
SFX:
(others snickering)
Sophie:
Yes, exactly right.
So basically the question, it's not just storks in particular. It's migration of birds. Where the heck did the birds go?
And essentially, the stork came back, and it had skewering it right through its neck. I do recommend Googling a picture of a dramatic representation. I think the stork is in a museum somewhere. Anyway, it has this small spear or arrow that was from Central Africa. It was made of a particular type of wood.
And so this answered the question: Oh, right, birds must go somewhere else.
Because previously, theories have been everything from, you know, they burrow into mud in the bottom of lakes to they fly to the moon. So this kind of answered that they actually go somewhere particular.
And we've had a bit of German in this episode. Because it landed in Germany, it was named the Pfeilstorch, which means 'arrow stork'.
Stuart:
Those guys know how to name something, don't they?
Sophie:
Yeah, they do, they honestly do.
My partner's half-German, so I checked in with that, and I still said it wrong, so...
SFX:
(scattered laughter)
Tom:
The next question comes from Matt2003.
In 2018, the Russian company Holy Spring began to sell a seemingly harmless plastic novelty. However, a potentially deadly defect was discovered when someone put one on the floor and began to smell smoke. What was the issue?
And one more time.
In 2018, the Russian company Holy Spring began to sell a seemingly harmless plastic novelty. However, a potentially deadly defect was discovered when someone put one on the floor and began to smell smoke. What was the issue?
Stuart:
I've got a very confident theory, and I'm so— I haven't heard about it before, but—
Katie:
Is it cattle?
SFX:
(others laugh uproariously)
Stuart:
I think that you could use this to brand cattle if you were kind of clever.
Sophie:
Oh my god.
Stuart:
I don't— Basically I know that the rules are if I know the answer, I shouldn't say anything. I don't know this. It might be a wild theory.
But my feeling is... a plastic thing that could create smoke would be because it heated it up because it accidentally can— It had a lens. And so, it was like a— It accidentally created a magnifying glass that then heated something.
Tom:
That part is true. Spot on.
Stuart:
Oh good. But I haven't ruined anything, good.
Tom:
You haven't ruined everything. You've made the question a little shorter than it might otherwise have been. But, that bit is true.
Stuart:
Soz, team.
Katie:
No, that's good.
Sophie:
Stuart, it's great. Don't worry, thank you.
Tom:
Yeah.
Stuart:
(snickers)
Sophie:
Saving us time.
Katie:
I reckon, yeah, that is definitely the only way you could get fire out of a plastic thing otherwise, right? If it was...
Tom:
Yeah.
Katie:
You know, a toy with batteries, I'd be less surprised, but just a plastic thing.
Tom:
I mean, I was thinking there might be some suggestions, like it accidentally contains cigarettes. Or they put a smoke machine or something like that.
Sophie:
Yeah, I mean, I was gonna say, yeah.
Katie:
Oh, but before they put safety labels on children's toys, they might've accidentally put cigarettes in a toy.
Sophie:
Yeah, why don't you buy yourself a smoking Betty? Let her smoke at home.
SFX:
(Tom and Stuart laugh)
Sophie:
Baby's first cigarette. I don't know why it's a Russian thing, not a southern American, but anyway.
Stuart:
If it's called Holy Spring, have they— Is the plastic novelty like a Jesus, but with eyes that refract the sun and turn it into a magnifying glass?
Katie:
That's the most terrifying thing I can imagine.
Sophie:
Laser Jesus.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
A laser Jesus.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Sophie:
I'm picturing something holy also, in that sense, Stuart.
Stuart:
It would need to be a magnifying glass that you didn't immediately realise was magnifying.
Tom:
Yes.
Stuart:
So, you know, the crazy eye Jesus idea, which I'm happy to retract.
Tom:
I thought you were going to say you were happy to patent that.
Stuart:
(cackles)
Sophie:
(chuckles)
Stuart:
Retract so that I can patent. Something, something that was like a telescope or a kaleidoscope or something that ended up magnifying your—
Katie:
Mm, kaleidoscope's good.
Sophie:
Is it holy? Is it something religious?
Tom:
I would concentrate more on the other word in that name.
Sophie:
Spring.
Stuart:
Holy Spring. So spring as in bouncy, spring as in the season.
Katie:
I'm imagining a slinky with a lens built in, and I don't know why.
Sophie:
Yeah, a lensed slinky.
Katie:
That's not a thing.
Stuart:
Oh, a terrifying kind of Cthulhu slinky that watches you as it comes down the stairs.
Sophie:
Sets you on fire.
Katie:
(laughs)
Sophie:
Spring— Or like a jack-in-the-box.
Stuart:
Or like a pogo stick.
Sophie:
Or a po— Yeah, or a— But it's a— I'm picturing small. I don't know if the word 'small' was used.
Tom:
No, seemingly harmless.
Sophie:
Harmless, okay, that's me... making associations.
Stuart:
A spring. Oh, spring as in water. As in water from a well, from a well spring sort of thing.
Sophie:
Oh, so did the water act as the lens? If there's constantly water moving through something, then some was maybe actually focused through the water rather than an actual piece of glass.
Stuart:
That is some deep MacGyver.
Sophie:
I dunno.
Tom:
Yep. That's— It was— It certainly contained water.
There's a little extra thing here that will put everything together.
Stuart:
Like a vase.
Katie:
Is it like a weird children's toy that contains a bit of holy water?
Just for exceptionally religious children to be able to just keep it with them. Like a teddy with holy water in its tummy or something.
Stuart:
Laser Jesus be with you always.
Sophie:
Yeah.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Sophie:
Smoking Betty, now with holy water complement.
Tom:
This is 2018 in Russia. It was quite a major event that happened in 2018 in Russia.
Sophie:
Was that the Euros that year?
Tom:
It was the World Cup that year.
Sophie:
Oh, it was the World Cup. Sorry, I always get those confused. Yeah, okay, I thought that. So then it's something...
Stuart:
Is it like a tiny version of a World Cup? Like a tiny plastic... What's water— What's watery related though, with the World Cup?
Sophie:
Well, what was the mascot? I'm trying to think what the mascot was for the Russia World Cup.
Tom:
It's actually a little simpler than that.
Sophie:
It's a football.
Stuart:
(wheezes)
Sophie:
It's a plastic, water-filled football.
Tom:
Yeah, it's a water bottle in the shape of a football.
Sophie:
Oh, okay, okay.
Tom:
They were selling a water bottle in the shape of a football.
And it turns out that if you get a spherical thing, or nearly spherical, and you fill it with water, and you put it on the ground in the sun, what you have made is exactly what you said at the start, Stuart, which is a sunlight focusing thing to set stuff on fire.
Sophie:
Oh my gosh.
Stuart:
Wow. I imagine the writer of that question is listening to this and enjoying my hubris at thinking I'd solved it. When you guys are to lens... I think not.
Tom:
You basically—
Sophie:
You were right though, yeah.
Tom:
You got a lot of it early on. Just not all the parts.
Sophie:
Yeah.
Stuart:
That's incredible. That's so— I didn't— I mean, is that— It's not common knowledge, is it? A sphere of water acts as a lens? I had no idea.
Sophie:
I guess it's like the circular...
Katie:
Yeah, and there's a lot of different shapes that are all kind of almost a lens that will— It just needs to focus it in enough, right? That, you know, it doesn't have to be a perfect paraboloid or whatever. It's happened loads of times with—
Stuart:
I don't know if you can say 'paraboloid or whatever'. To me, that's lo-fi, hi-fi.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Katie:
One of the curves in that family. Yeah, it's happened loads of times that people have built buildings that have been accidentally focusing stuff in and setting cars on fire and stuff, and, yeah.
Tom:
So, yes, in 2018, Russian company Holy Spring sold a football-shaped water bottle that could accidentally lens the sun and set stuff on fire.
Katie, it's over to you for the next one.
Katie:
Okay.
In 1857, architect Alexander Dawson chose the site for a new lighthouse. It was built from strong, freshly-quarried stone, for ships navigating Cape St. George in Australia's Tasman Sea. Why did the lighthouse cause over 20 shipwrecks, and why were investigators suspicious of Dawson?
So that question again.
In 1857, architect Alexander Dawson chose the site for a new lighthouse. It was built from strong, freshly-quarried stone, for ships navigating Cape St. George in Australia's Tasman Sea. Why did the lighthouse cause over 20 shipwrecks, and why were investigators suspicious of Dawson?
Stuart:
Because it was 20 miles inland.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Stuart:
On his own territory that he sold the rights to.
Sophie:
Yeah.
Tom:
Yeah. Just wrecks them right there, goes in, picks stuff up, salvages it.
Stuart:
He's been— He ran a salvage business.
Sophie:
Yeah, I was gonna say. Yeah, he ran a salvage business. Secondhand ship parts, yeah.
Tom:
There have been folk tales in quite a lot of places around the world of 'wreckers', of folks who would set up fake lighthouses to distract ships and say they were in the wrong position to draw them to the shore, and then... 'salvage' what landed.
But I feel like if you're getting the lighthouse officially built, that's a very long-winded way to do that.
Stuart:
I just love the idea that the quickest and cheapest way to do that particular scam would be to make a tiny lighthouse and hold it up very near to the edge of the cliff.
SFX:
(group laughs uproariously)
Katie:
Well, I'm gonna say... that Dawson was not setting up some kind of an elaborate, deliberate shipwrecking endeavour.
Tom:
Okay, okay.
Sophie:
So it's accidental... issues, I'm thinking.
Tom:
I just, I'm still stuck on tiny lighthouse really close by.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Stuart:
You can set one up every five miles along the whole coast with tiny light. You'd do that in a day.
Katie:
You just stick an even smaller one on the outside window of the ship's cabin.
SFX:
(group laughs uproariously)
Sophie:
The freshly-quarried stone is making me a bit like, why is that so key that it's freshly-quarried stone? And was it his quarry? But then that's just one bunch of—
Stuart:
Was it far too big? Was it using loads of stone, and they queried the expenses?
Sophie:
Queried the quarrying.
Stuart:
Was it the inverse of what I was riffing on? Did he build far too big a lighthouse, and as a result, people stayed away and crashed into a different island on the other side?
Katie:
The size of the lighthouse was normal.
Stuart:
Okay, okay. But was the freshly quarried stone, did it have quartz in it, and it was reflective, and it blinded people?
Katie:
It was just regular stone.
SFX:
(Stuart and Sophie laugh)
Katie:
Based on the information they have.
Tom:
Swarovski crystals all the way around the lighthouse. Just blinding everyone coming over.
Stuart:
I'd be struggling to recognise freshly-quarried stone. That sounds like the thing a lighthouse salesman would really pitch.
SFX:
(Tom and Sophie laugh)
Stuart:
"Freshly-quarried, that.
Tom:
I don't know if this is a clue or just the question writer being really, really flowery with the description.
Sophie:
Oh, okay, okay.
Stuart:
It's a freshly quarried herring.
SFX:
(group chuckling)
Sophie:
So it's Tasman Sea, so that'd be Tasmania area.
Tom:
It is a brutal bit of water, that. That's just... The ferries there, even to this day, have a reputation for being rockin and rollin and really difficult to ride, and just get cancelled sometimes.
It's so far south. It's into that difficult bit in the Roaring Forties. But, I don't know if... That's why you'd need the lighthouse.
Sophie:
What's the reason why the lighthouse—
Maybe the lighthouse light didn't have a bulb, or the bulb kept blowing or something. I don't know, why would the lighthouse not be working?
Katie:
The lighthouse was functional. The operation of the lighthouse was fine.
Stuart:
Was it a mobile lighthouse?
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
No, I'm sort of half serious!
Katie:
Attached to the back of a cow.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
There's just someone in a plane up above going, "Well, it's not moving that fast. Don't know why we painted these lines."
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Katie:
It was a stationary lighthouse in a fixed location, yeah.
Stuart:
A stationary, normal-sized lighthouse. So what reason could they, could— What reason could put him under suspicion? The choice of location for the lighthouse.
Katie:
That is important, I guess. Especially in a place where you're expecting a lot of dangerous waters, you need the lighthouse to be well-located.
Sophie:
(snickers faintly) Kate, you would be great under MI5 interrogation.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Sophie:
Honestly.
Katie:
I would absolutely not.
SFX:
(Tom and Sophie laugh)
Katie:
Just no.
Sophie:
"Location is indeed an important feature." Okay, hmm.
Stuart:
"It is a tragedy that the person was murdered."
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
He's put it next to another lighthouse, or next to something that's distracting, or next to something else that creates light.
Stuart:
Something else reflective?
Katie:
It wasn't— I mean, it wasn't near to another lighthouse. It wasn't an issue with the light aspect of the lighthouse, or the fact that it was too shiny or anything like that.
Sophie:
I'm picturing he's done it too low or something, like he's actually put it—
Stuart:
At the bottom of a pit. At the quarry! (laughs) He quarried the stone and then built the lighthouse!
Sophie:
He quarried the stone and then built the lighthouse in the quarry.
Katie:
I mean this is... not quite, but on the right sort of lines? I guess it's—
Tom:
How?!
Katie:
And, well, initially someone said, did he build it 20 miles inland? Which is a hilarious joke. But not actually that far away from... something.
Sophie:
Was he lazy? Built it next to his— He did build it next to his house? It was just like, there you go.
Stuart:
Or did he build it behind something from which it wasn't visible enough? He built it behind some— Oh, I mean, it's too long ago, but you know those gas pumps that rise and lower, like some movable part of scenery.
Katie:
Famously on the Tasmanian coast.
Tom:
Or maybe he just built it close to his house inland, so if something broke and he had to— But no, he picked the site, right?
Katie:
Not quite— Not his house. He picked the site.
I mean, you've sort of already said it.
Tom:
It was really convenient for him, because he didn't have to travel far to deal with the light. So it's near his office or his work.
Katie:
It's not his place of home or work, but it is something that he's built it nearer to than he should have.
Stuart:
The pub.
Katie:
And you've definitely already said it.
Sophie:
Is it the quarry, and then did the lighthouse fall into the quarry? Or is that an extra...
Katie:
It wasn't at the quarry.
Stuart:
To save on transport, he built it too near the quarry, so that the— so that it would be cheaper to move the rocks across.
Tom:
(gasps)
Katie:
Yes.
Sophie:
Yeah.
Stuart:
(laughs triumphantly)
Sophie:
It's obvious when you say it like that, Stuart.
Tom:
Yeah.
Katie:
Yeah. So the— I mean, aside from, apparently, aside from the fact that he built it too near the quarry because he wanted to make it slightly easier to get the stone from the quarry there, he was also just bad at deciding where to put a lighthouse.
So his maps were inaccurate, his planning was bad... and you couldn't actually see it from the bay. So... (laughs)
Tom:
I mean, we're laughing, but presumably a lot of people died.
Katie:
Yes, there were two dozen shipwrecks in the 40 years that it was in operation.
Stuart:
You would hope that after the first shipwreck, that's on them! That's on the authorities. Wreck me once, shame on me.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sophie:
I'm just imagining this Dawson guy being like, "Yeah, even I get imposter syndrome, guys."
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sophie:
"Even me. I'm so good at my job."
Katie:
Yeah. But yeah, it was there for 40 years, and after enough wrecks had happened, I guess they called it, and they demolished the lighthouse.
Stuart:
Two dozen wrecks! On wreck number 23, they're like, "We'll give him one more go."
SFX:
(Katie and Tom giggle)
Sophie:
Yeah, wow.
Tom:
The last order of business then. At the start of the show, I asked:
why high quality clothes hangers are often made from cedar wood?
Any quick guesses on that before I give the answer?
Stuart:
It's high quality, right? Is it to do with the abundance of cedar wood or the scarcity of cedar wood, or—
Sophie:
Fancy people like cedar.
Katie:
Less likely to splinter?
Stuart:
Does it repel moths?
Tom:
It repels moths. Spot on.
Katie:
I knew that. I did know that. D'ah!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
You didn't say it though.
Stuart:
Frustratingly for you, I didn't know that.
SFX:
(group laughs uproariously)
Katie:
Yeah, you can buy cedar wood little thingies that you hang in your wardrobe.
Tom:
Yeah, it's known as far back as ancient Greece.
Shops selling carpets and things like that will put up cedar wood panels on their walls. Yeah, it apparently repels moths.
Thank you very much to all of our players. Let's find out, where can people find you? What's going on in your life?
We'll start with Stuart.
Stuart:
So you can find my comedy stuff online at stuartgoldsmithcomedy on Instagram.
Or if you want to hear me do climate comedy, and you work in sustainability, you can find me on LinkedIn.
Tom:
That is, I think, the first LinkedIn plug we've had on the show.
Stuart:
I know, right?!
Sophie:
LinkedIn?
Stuart:
Yes! It's territory that very few people are leveraging. (giggles)
Tom:
Katie!
Katie:
Yeah, I'm on Twitter and Mastodon at @stecks.
And if you go to finitegroup.co.uk, you can find The Finite Group, where I post all the stuff I've been doing.
Tom:
And Sophie.
Sophie:
I'm mainly on YouTube and Instagram as @SophsNotes. Search that, and you'll find my little face.
Tom:
And that is our show for today. Thank you, everyone.
If you wanna know more about this show or send in your own ideas for questions, you can do that at lateralcast.com. You can find us at @lateralcast basically everywhere online, and you can catch video highlights multiple times a week at youtube.com/lateralcast.
Thank you very much to Sophie Ward.
Sophie:
Thank you!
Tom:
Katie Steckles.
Katie:
Thank you very much.
Tom:
And Stuart Goldsmith.
Stuart:
Hooray for me!
Tom:
I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.
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