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Episode 87: Rory McIlroy's (blank)
Published 7th June, 2024
Sabrina Cruz, Melissa Fernandes and Taha Khan from 'Answer in Progress' face questions about solar solutions, recreational results and audience accumulation.
HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. RECORDED AT: The Podcast Studios, Dublin. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: Marcus, Adam Wagner, Ryan Neary. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott.
Transcript
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
Why were customers disappointed when Steve Comisar sold them a "solar-powered clothes dryer" for $49.95?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
Welcome to the podcast that is the perfect antidote to boredom.
Sorry, boron. That should've said boron.
Which is entirely appropriate, since our questions are rated 9.3 on the hardness scale.
Joining me for the next few Mohs, we have the Answer in Progress team. Welcome back to the show...
Sabrina Cruz, I'm gonna go to you first, because you appear to be unable to speak right now, and I feel like putting you on the spot's a good thing.
Sabrina:
The additional puns, just time after time. I was racking my brain like, do I participate in this, or should I shun it entirely?
Hello, thank you for having me.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Welcome back to the show.
This will be going out a few months after record. So, what is Answer in Progress working on now? What can we expect from you over the next few months?
Sabrina:
(cracks up) Oh, Tom... We don't know what we're doing in January.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina giggle)
Taha:
Expect videos.
Tom:
Also, please welcome... another third of Answer in Progress, Melissa Fernandes.
Melissa:
Hello, happy to be back.
Tom:
I nearly introduced you as the second third there.
And first of all, I'm pretty sure there's no hierarchy. And second, that's just a confusing turn of phrase.
Sabrina:
(laughs)
Melissa:
It still works. Are we all not the second third?
Tom:
(scoffs) Ooh?
Taha:
Wow.
Sabrina:
Oh, okay.
Taha:
Okay.
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Tom:
And taking issue with that description, the third third of Answer in Progress, Taha Khan.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Taha:
Damn. I'm the third third, guys.
Welcome. Thank you for having me not welcome.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
It's your podcast now.
Tom:
Often, when we have entire trios on the show, it does often start to (laughs) sound like your podcast. But that's fine by me. That's less work for me to do.
It is always a joy and a delight to have you back on. So, thank you very much for returning.
Our writing team has been hard at it down the trivia mines, making questions out of quartz and conundrums out of corundum. So...
Sabrina:
Bleh! Bring back the Canada!
SFX:
(group giggling)
Tom:
Here's a first question to whet your apatite.
Apatite. It's fifth on the Mohs scale. It's between fluorite and orthoclase feldspar.
I'm wasted, here. We'll get on with it.
Sabrina:
And just add in the sound effects of somebody leaving a call.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
How did the global audience available for cinema films triple in 1927?
One more time.
How did the global audience available for cinema films triple in 1927?
Taha:
Netflix.
Sabrina:
(snorts, laughs)
Tom:
Yes, you would send a telegram off to the Netflix headquarters.
And shortly thereafter, a large reel of film
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina crack up)
Tom:
would arrive by a... horse and cart.
Taha:
Or a troupe of actors, and they would do the film for you.
Tom:
Oh no, that's your Shakespearean Netflix. That was only available to royalty.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Taha snicker)
Sabrina:
Okay, is this— (stammers) Is a "Cinema film" a brand?
Or is it just the idea of a cinema?
Tom:
I don't know quite why the question's phrased like that.
It is the concept of films being played in a cinema.
Taha:
Right.
Sabrina:
Okay. And the audience has tripled in 1927.
Tom:
Yep.
Sabrina:
That's around... No, it's not. Never mind.
Melissa:
It's not around the war. I was going there too, right? Was that where you were going?
Sabrina:
It was dab-smack in between. And I'm like, well, maybe more people were around.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Tom chuckle)
Taha:
Oh, between the two wars?
Melissa:
Yeah. Yeah.
Sabrina:
Yeah.
Melissa:
But that's too late in the game. Why 1927, you know? It's like...
Sabrina:
Mhm. Why 1927?
Taha:
It tripled.
Sabrina:
Tripled. Did they—
Taha:
In that year?
Sabrina:
Three times the showings, baby. Let's go. (giggles)
Melissa:
(snickers)
Tom:
The question is phrased very carefully. How did the global audience available triple in 1927?
Taha:
They were born that year.
Sabrina:
The baby boom.
Taha:
It's nothing to do with cinema, it's just population.
Sabrina:
Is it just about baby boomers? (laughs)
Tom:
Oh yeah, no. Somehow, somehow, every woman in the world had six children that year, and the entire global population just tripled.
It's not that.
Taha:
Okay.
Sabrina:
More cinemas opened up in... China, Asia, one of the Asian countries. The global audience.
Melissa:
Yeah.
Taha:
No, available audience.
Tom:
Yep, so it's not necessarily the people going to cinemas. It's the people—
Taha:
(finger snap) Censorship. There was some level of non-censorship.
Is that when the Soviet Union fell apart? I don't know.
Tom:
That's, I think, before the Soviet Union existed.
SFX:
(group snickering)
Taha:
Oh, never mind.
Sabrina:
Hays Code. (laughs)
Taha:
I feel like censorship has to be part of it, right? 'Available' just makes me think...
Sabrina:
They weren't able to watch it. And now they are able to watch it.
Tom:
Yes.
Melissa:
I have to ask a question, because it is the '20s.
Please tell me, women were allowed to go to the theater before that, right? They could go—
Sabrina:
Oh boy.
Melissa:
They could go to the theater, right?
Sabrina:
I hadn't even considered that.
Were... were ethnicities... Well, you get the gist.
Taha:
Oh no.
Sabrina:
Yeah, were people of color allowed to go places?
Tom:
I feel like if that was the question, it would be a little bit too much for Lateral. We don't tend to go down quite that route.
Taha:
(chuckles)
Melissa:
Okay, okay, okay.
Sabrina:
Let's go! (giggles)
Tom:
But you are right in saying that... the art form was now available to a lot more people.
Melissa:
Could they translate them into more languages, so more people could...
Tom:
That is close. Not quite, but it's close.
Melissa:
(gasps) Wait, subtitles. Were there subtitles now?
Tom:
You kinda have that the wrong way 'round.
Think about how the technology developed.
Taha:
Sound.
Sabrina:
They added sound.
Tom:
They added sound.
Sabrina:
There was like, they added—
There was this magnetic tape with sound on the back of the film that they're able to play now, which is a thing I learned very recently.
Melissa:
Oh, so people who... couldn't see.
Sabrina:
(gasps)
Taha:
Tripled...!
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
Two thirds of the planet... The second third and the third third of the planet can't see.
Can't hear? Can't see.
Tom:
They can't do something.
Taha:
They can't...
Sabrina:
Consume movies until 1927.
SFX:
(guests crack up)
Tom:
Not properly, because they couldn't enjoy them.
Sabrina:
They couldn't enjoy them?
Tom:
Have a think about old films, pre-talkies.
Have a think about the cliches you've seen when someone's doing that style these days and mocking it, there's something they have to add.
Taha:
Oh, music.
Melissa:
The card of text?
That thing? Where you had to describe what was happening. "He's not into toys."
Tom:
How was the speech done?
Taha:
Ah, with subtitles. Right, so when the talkies happened, it was the people who can't read can now... listen to the movies.
Melissa:
(gasps)
Tom:
Yes.
Melissa:
Ohhh!
Sabrina:
Is it about literacy?
Sorry, I'm still so— (laughs) Everybody else got it, but I'm—
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa sob)
Melissa:
Look, she's broken!
Tom:
That answer kind of trickled in, in various small parts.
And I'm not actually surprised, Sabrina, that that didn't quite coalesce for everyone. So, yeah, let me read the notes I've got here.
Yeah, 1927 was the year that the talkies arrived. So this is about literacy.
We're talking about a world audience, a global audience here. And the rough estimate in 1927 was it was about one third of the world population who could read. So two thirds of the population, if they went to the cinema, doesn't matter what language it was translated into. They couldn't read the captions that showed the dialogue. And instead, they just couldn't understand it.
So after 1927, after the talkies, suddenly, most of the world, high 90%, could now understand the movies.
Sabrina:
Incredible.
Melissa:
Look at that.
Sabrina:
I'll say this. The three of us had recently consumed some of Charlie Chaplin's work
Tom:
(wheezes)
Sabrina:
in an attempt to un-silence silent films.
And you know what? It works. It's still very funny. (laughs)
Tom:
It does, but – and this is me going to stereotypes of Canadians – you started with "The three of us had recently consumed," and that is not where my sentence was going!
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina giggle)
Tom:
I just assumed that—
Sabrina:
We consume content.
Tom:
I just assumed you'd had some edibles or something.
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Tom:
Each of our guests has brought a question with them. We're going to start today with Melissa.
Melissa:
When the US car market slowed down in 2003, the automobile parts company DXRacer bought even more wheels than usual. Why?
One more time.
When the US car market slowed down in 2003, the automobile parts company DXRacer bought even more wheels than usual. Why?
Sabrina:
Buy low, sell high. More wheels, take you, drive uphill.
Tom:
(wheezes)
Sabrina:
Sell on top of hill. There we go.
Melissa:
Mmm.
Sabrina:
We're onto something here. Please take business advice from me.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina laugh)
Tom:
Please, take business advice from someone who has only mastered three of the parts of speech.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Tom:
Did I need to mock that viciously? Apparently!
SFX:
(guests continue giggling)
Sabrina:
Oh, here's the sad thing. I missed the one day in elementary school where they apparently taught people parts of speech.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sabrina:
And I will never recover from that. (laughs)
Taha:
They taught you parts of speech?
Sabrina:
I assume so.
Melissa:
You know, like, the verb?
Sabrina:
It's just feels like every— Listen, it took me until my 20s to understand what an adverb was. (laughs) This is a vulnerable moment here.
Taha:
Adverb is a verb, but you have to watch a pre-roll before you get to it.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Sabrina:
Ohh, okay.
Tom:
My first thought was video games.
If you're called DXRacer, I was thinking that was going to be something like, they are buying the steering wheels.
Wait, did you say— I was thinking it was steering wheels. Not wheels on cars. Because they're called tyres normally.
Taha:
Ooh.
Tom:
But I was saying they were buying up excess steering wheels because they were cheap, and they could turn them into video game accessories and things like that.
Sabrina:
Whoa! I was thinking Hot Wheels.
Melissa:
The wheels that they bought were different from... car wheels. But they're still wheels.
Tom:
Oh.
Taha:
DXRacer...
Sabrina:
Tiny cars.
Taha:
made tiny cars, yeah.
Sabrina:
Tiny little baby model cars.
Taha:
I know this because of the wheels/doors debate.
Tom:
The what?
Taha:
Whether or not there's more wheels or more doors in the world.
Tom:
I have not heard of this debate, and now I want to know the answer to it?
Sabrina:
No, what is your answer?
Taha:
What is your answer?
Tom:
Oh my god.
Taha:
The comments are gonna love this.
Tom:
Oh, okay, so first—
Taha:
Are there more doors or more wheels in the world?
Tom:
First gut reaction is doors. Because...
Sabrina:
Hm.
Tom:
I'm going by households.
This is a really Western approach, but you don't see a household with more than two or three cars, at most. That's eight wheels most.
I'd say the average number of wheels that a household has, even if it includes stuff that's somewhere in the plumbing of a house or something like that, isn't gonna get into the double digits at most.
Whereas doors are everywhere. The house will have a double digit set of doors, if you've got a two-storey family house. You've got doors in hospitals.
Now, I would go with doors.
Sabrina:
But have you considered the average Formula 1 weekend, which uses 200 right off the bat? (laughs)
Tom:
Also, you said wheels, not tyres, dammit.
Taha:
Yes, what about Lego wheels?
Tom:
What about Lego doors?!
Sabrina:
Okay, people have way more Lego cars than they have Lego doors.
Tom:
We weren't talking about Lego—
Sabrina:
You have to go out of the—
Tom:
What's this got to do with DXRacer, Taha?
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Taha:
I was just thinking that... there are loads more wheels because Lego make— Legos make loads of tyres.
Sabrina:
Are they tiny wheels, Melissa? Are these full-sized wheels? Or tiny, tiny little baby wheels?
Melissa:
I mean, they could be full-sized, but they also... They're not the same size as a tire wheel.
Sabrina:
Ooh!
Taha:
Okay. I feel like we're missing something in the recession. No, not the recession.
Sabrina:
2003?
Taha:
2003. Well, I dunno. Why was the car market slowing down in 2003?
Tom:
I don't know.
Taha:
The Iraq War.
Sabrina:
Ah, yeah.
Tom:
Actually, petrol prices would have gone up then.
Taha:
Would have gone down.
Tom:
Up.
Taha:
Up? Oh, yes. Yes, okay. That makes sense. So they were buying wheels. They were buying more wheels. What is a wheel?
SFX:
(others laughing)
Taha:
This is a dumb question, but if they're called tyres on cars... then what is a wheel in relation to cars?
Sabrina:
Well the tire is the little jacket that you put on the wheel, you know? (giggles) That's how I've always imagined it.
Taha:
I would call that a rim.
Sabrina:
Well, there's still the wheel component.
Tom:
No, the rim's the thing on the outside. That's the metal bit in the— inside the tyre.
Taha:
So which bit is the wheel? Is the wheel the combination of the tyre and the rim?
Tom:
We've got... an ontological nightmare here, Taha. We're just—
SFX:
(group cracks up)
Melissa:
We're going too deep. We're going too deep. It's a wheel. It's a wheel.
Taha:
Okay.
Sabrina:
Okay.
Taha:
That whole thing is a wheel. Okay, great.
Sabrina:
2003. Car— Car—
We're not making a lot of cars. Except for DXRacer, which is buying—
Taha:
No, but they're buying wheels.
Sabrina:
They're buying wheels. Now we don't know what wheels. Melissa's being very cagey about what the nature of the wheel is.
Taha:
What if they pivoted their business from... commercial cars to trucks?
Sabrina:
Mmm.
Taha:
Because I assume trucking...
Sabrina:
Needs more wheels.
Taha:
Yeah.
Melissa:
So in buying these wheels, they actually established a new market for something. There's a new market.
Sabrina:
My— I presented a business opportunity. (giggles) It's called the wheels on a hill. Buy low, sell high.
Melissa:
Okay, not that one. Different pitch, please.
Sabrina:
Okay. New market, new market for wheels?
Tom:
I've read this news story somewhere.
Sabrina:
(wheezes) You were reading the news in 2003? That's not relatable.
Tom:
Yeah, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that you weren't born yet(!)
SFX:
(guests wheezing)
Sabrina:
DXRacer. They established a new market. A new market for wheels.
Taha:
The market for wheels. Because they bought up all the wheels.
Sabrina:
What is in a wheel? There's rubber.
Okay, let's assume that it's a tire. The components of it. The metal bit. The tire bit.
That's it. That's all I got for you.
Erasers. The backs of pencils.
Melissa:
It's a new market.
Do you think that— Do you think that erasers didn't exist before 2003?
Tom:
They could have done. Sabrina's too young to know any different.
Sabrina:
(laughs loudly off-mic)
SFX:
(Taha and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
I haven't used a pencil in my life.
Taha:
Is it a new product or a new market? That's what I'm trying to understand, is whether or not they developed something that was brand new... or whether or not...
Melissa:
It is brand new.
Taha:
The product is brand new?
Melissa:
Another clue that might help:
They originally sold something that went inside sports cars.
Sabrina:
They created the novelty tchotchkes that you hang on—
Tom:
I was about to suggest—
SFX:
(both giggling)
Tom:
The only reason that I didn't get there fast enough is I could not think of a word like tchotchkes. It just didn't come to my mind.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
Okay, so they buy all of these tires. They're D— So DR—
Melissa:
Wheels.
Sabrina:
Yes, wheels. Oh, she's very specific.
Taha:
Mm, okay.
Sabrina:
She's so specific.
So it's, they were doing something with wheels then, certainly the inside of it. 'Cause that is inside of a car. That's the only wheel that exists inside of the car, the steering wheel.
Taha:
Oh, is it the removable ones? Because there was stealing going on? And so more people had removable wheels? Steering wheels?
Melissa:
What's inside a sports car? What's in a sports car?
Sabrina:
Its seats.
Melissa:
Mhm.
Tom:
Seatbelts.
Sabrina:
Wheels. Seatbelts.
Tom:
Airbags.
Sabrina:
2003?
We were updating cars in 2003? I thought we finished cars.
Taha:
I have news for you. They still update cars today.
Sabrina:
That's wild.
Melissa:
Well, that's— It's not to say that the thing that they're creating has anything to do with cars.
Sabrina:
I'm hearing that it has nothing to do with cars.
Taha:
Maybe it's compatible with a car, but not necessarily...
Melissa:
I'll give you another hint. It has something to do with the seats. So sports car, seats.
Sabrina:
Did they make gamer chairs?
Sorry. (wheezes)
Taha:
Is this when they made the—
(gasps) They made gamer chairs.
Tom:
It was video games!
Taha:
They made the gaming chairs!
Sabrina:
Shut up!
Melissa:
Yeah! They made the first gaming chairs!
Taha:
I hate this company.
Sabrina:
No! (laughs)
Taha:
It's the worst chair in the world.
Tom:
The wheels—
Sabrina:
Why did they buy the ti— The wheels for the seats of the cha—
Tom:
Right.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina groan)
Tom:
Whoever wrote that question, I hate you. Augh!
Taha:
Now, Tom... This brings it back. How many wheels does each household have?
Tom:
Oh, g'n'augh!
Taha:
Think about it.
Tom:
Never mind.
Taha:
Think about it.
Tom:
Never mind.
Taha:
(giggles)
Melissa:
So many wheels.
Tom:
DXRacer make the stupid gamer chairs. Of course they do.
Melissa:
Yeah. They were originally a Chinese company that made luxury seat— luxury car seats.
Sabrina:
(sighs)
Melissa:
And then in 2001, they began— they were selling those car seats, and then they decided to put wheels on them.
Tom:
Next one's from me, folks. Good luck.
In 1915, the British Board of Invention and Research devised a scheme to feed wild gulls from a tall tube with a 90-degree bend in it. What was its purpose, and why did it soon become obsolete?
I'll say that again.
In 1915, the British Board of Invention and Research devised a scheme to feed wild gulls from a tall tube with a 90-degree bend in it. What was its purpose, and why did it soon become obsolete?
I love this question. This is my favourite question we've had for so many episodes.
Sabrina:
Struck by lightning. (wheezes)
We want to hit the birds with lightning. We want them to go up in the sky, near the building, so it grounds the building when lightning happens.
This is my business proposal.
Taha:
Okay, that's a lamppost.
Sabrina:
That's a straw. Oh.
Tom:
Two very different scales there!
SFX:
(group giggling)
Melissa:
Yeah, they're— These things are sitting on plastic straws. (laughs)
Sabrina:
Listen, what is the— (laughs) Damn, Taha's was way better.
Taha:
And then it became obsolete because plastic straws are now banned.
Sabrina:
(cackles)
Tom:
You have got the right kind of visual image of the shape there. Straw and lamppost are at least the right shape.
When I say tall tube, 90-degree bend, yeah.
Taha:
Well would you consider a straw a tall tube? A tall tube?
Sabrina:
(laughs) Why are we so—
Listen, Taha. We were both equally right. That's what he's saying. (giggles)
Taha:
Mm.
Sabrina:
Okay.
Taha:
Okay.
Sabrina:
So what would the... We... Wild gulls are birds. Like a seagull.
Melissa:
Are they big birds?
Tom:
Yeah, seagulls.
Taha:
I actually feel pretty confident that this is a lamppost.
Tom:
It is not a lamppost.
Sabrina:
1915 is war. That's wartime.
Tom:
Yes. Yes it is.
Melissa:
Yeah.
Sabrina:
That's war.
Taha:
Two years before the Spanish flu.
Sabrina:
Target practice. (wheezes)
Tom:
(cracks up) On the gulls?
Sabrina:
I'm out here, really trying to kill birds (giggles) for some reason. They did the honing pigeon. The pigeons were target— were helping aim things at some point.
Tom:
Oh, there were pigeon bombs. Yeah, quite famously.
Sabrina:
Exactly.
Tom:
But in that case, the bird was loaded into the bomb and helped peck at the target on its way down, which helped guide it.
It was never... It was trialled. I don't believe it was ever particularly successful, but...
Sabrina:
Ah, yes, like MKUltra.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Tom:
Sabrina, you're spot on with wartime. This was a wartime invention.
Taha:
Ooh, submarine.
Sabrina:
(gasps)
Tom:
Keep talking, Taha.
Taha:
So, it's the... the telescope.
Sabrina:
A peephole?
Taha:
Not the telescope.
Sabrina:
The peephole thingy.
Taha:
It's not called a tel— Yeah.
Tom:
Periscope. The word you're going for, I'll give you that, is periscope.
Taha:
Yeah, it's the other scope. The periscope would be a tall tube with a 90-degree bend in it.
Tom:
It would.
Taha:
Why would you want to train birds to go there and eat from it?
Sabrina:
So you don't— They go there for food, and they make it so that you can't see enemy subs when they've got the tube out.
Melissa:
It's not suspicious.
Sabrina:
You're just like, "Oh—"
Oh, you're trying to come— Oh no, I'm thinking this is to have hostile behavior so that people can't look out from the little tube.
Taha:
'Cause the birds will be like, "Where's my food?"
Sabrina:
Yeah, the birds are like, "Hey guys, what's up?"
Taha:
"Hey, what's going on guys?"
Sabrina:
Much like the failed Twitter byproduct, Periscope.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
Which also had to do with birds.
Tom:
You've got the plan, but not the reason.
It wasn't to cause the seagulls to block vision.
Sabrina:
Then Melissa, what were you saying?
Melissa:
I was saying that it was... if they're trying to hide their submarine from approaching and someone sees birds feeding from a stick, they're not gonna be like, "That's a submarine."
"That's just birds doing their thing."
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Taha:
With a stick coming out the ocean?
Melissa:
(giggles softly)
Tom:
Yep, you've basically got it.
The idea was to train seagulls to spot periscopes and see them as a source of food.
So therefore, as you looked out with your binoculars from land, you go, "There's a load of seagulls hovering over a patch of water. What, what?
Oh, there's the periscope of a submarine."
Taha:
Ahh.
Sabrina:
Ahh.
Tom:
So you kinda got that in various parts. That's the purpose.
Why did it soon become obsolete?
Melissa:
Well, I'm seeing a flaw in this plan here.
Who are, who... Are they trying to... hide the submarine from the opposition? Or are they trying to let the people on land spot the thing?
Sabrina:
Seagulls don't care about the different teams in war.
The "teams" in war.
Taha:
No, they're trying to—
You're basically trying to train the birds to spot submarines, hostile submarines with periscopes out, so that all the birds will swarm around...
Melissa:
Okay, okay.
Taha:
...the thing.
Sabrina:
So that you could see them.
Taha:
It became obsolete because radar existed.
Tom:
Sonar. But yes.
Taha:
Was invented.
Tom:
Sonar was invented, and suddenly, a better way of detecting submarines was send a ping through the water and see what echoes back.
Melissa:
Mmm.
Sabrina:
Mmm.
Taha:
So the real flappy animal was bats. That's what we have to be paying attention to all along.
Tom:
What?
Taha:
They use sonar, right?
Tom:
Yes, okay. I forgot.
Sabrina:
I've always wondered where the visual of the seagull resting on top of a periscope came from. And it was a real thing, I guess.
Tom:
It was a real thing for just a couple of years. Well, it was, except the plan didn't work.
Sabrina:
Awwh. This is what you get for training seagulls.
Tom:
Taha, over to you for the next question.
Taha:
Alright.
This question has been sent in by Adam Wagner.
Mature chestnut trees are virtually extinct in the US, due to a fungus introduced from Asia in 1904. Why did Bryan Davis buy antique chestnut furniture from the 1860s, just to remove its varnish and chop it into bits?
I'll say that again.
Mature chestnut trees are virtually extinct in the US, due to a fungus introduced from Asia in 1904. Why did Bryan Davis buy antique chestnut furniture from the 1860s, remove its varnish, and chop it into bits?
Melissa:
Sabrina, this sounds like your old business plan for the wheels.
Sabrina:
(snickers) Might I— new business proposal. I'm trying to sell a fungus, and so I will feed the fungus with... tree bit.
Tom:
My first thought was the low background steel from ships.
There is a... essentially an industry in digging up old shipwrecks, legally or not so legally because they were sunk before atomic testing started to happen, and before nuclear bombs started to happen. And, because steel uses so much air in its production, it picks up a little bit of the background radiation.
So, something that's been underwater for that long, like old ships, has really, really pure, non-radioactive steel they can use for accurate meters and things like that. I'm like, is there that equivalent?
How do you translate that story to pre-fungal chestnut wood?
Sabrina:
How do you, Taha?
Tom:
I was hoping someone was gonna jump in on that. No one had a clue. Okay, fine.
Sabrina:
I was too busy being in awe that I've been out here pitching the worst businesses on earth, and you just have access to— you would just know about the most interesting stories.
Okay. Is it something about... 'Cause it is interesting that he is locked in on a specific era of wood.
Is this a wood that was before the fungus was introduced?
Taha:
From the dates, that would make sense. In that, you know, the fungus was introduced in 1904. And he was buying furniture in 18— from the 1860s.
Tom:
The varnish would have protected the wood from even picking up fungal spores, even if it can't feed on the old furniture. If it was varnish, that would be protected.
But it's not like you can plant a table leg and get a tree out of it.
Sabrina:
Yeah, but is it like how you— This might be totally off base, but you know how trees don't... like tree— apple— apple trees.
Like in order to grow the same apple, you need to actually graft the tree. Rather than use the apple seeds because of the mutations.
Was he grafting this old chestnut bit to a tree in order to try and create ...new chestnut tree?
Melissa:
That sounds, that sounds feasible.
Sabrina:
I don't know anything about trees.
Taha:
That doesn't sound feasible to me.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Sabrina:
It's a bit of tree. They made furniture different back then, I don't know.
Melissa:
Taha said, that is irrelevant.
Taha:
Yeah, I don't know if that's relevant.
Sabrina:
Was— Oh, so what— Does Bryan do anything? What does Bryan do? Does Bryan have a job? (wheezes)
Taha:
Bryan was trying to make money from this.
Tom:
We're back on your business plan, Sabrina.
Sabrina:
Let's go! Me and Bryan!
Taha:
His aim was to make money.
Melissa:
Okay.
Sabrina:
Okay. So how could you make money out of this situation?
Melissa:
And he was chopping it up, right? He was taking the old trees and the old furniture?
Tom:
Chestnut fraud. He's selling old furniture as if it were modern wood.
I don't know where the financial incentive would be there, but I just like the phrase 'chestnut fraud'.
Sabrina:
Is he selling it to universities? And research institutions?
Taha:
He is not selling the wood.
Sabrina:
The varnish. No. ...Yes?
Melissa:
He's sanding off the varnish probably.
Sabrina:
Listen!
Melissa:
I don't think there's varnish to salvage.
Sabrina:
He's not selling the wood. He's selling something—
Does the fungus attach to the wood for people trying to research the fungus?
Taha:
So, no. As in...
Sabrina:
D'ah.
Taha:
Research is not the thing that you've let—
Sabrina:
Research is not involved.
Tom:
No, he's trying to make money. You don't do that with research.
Taha:
No, yeah, definitely not.
Sabrina:
(cackles) What could you benefit with a piece of wood and/or fungus? Because I feel like the fungus is relevant.
Taha:
The wood was pre-fungus, and the wood was used to manufacture something.
Sabrina:
(whispering) The wood was used to man— Is there something special about the desk? Was it like George Washington's old desk?
Melissa:
How much wood did he have? How much—
Sabrina:
How much wood did a woodchuck chuck?
SFX:
(both giggling)
Taha:
I don't know, and I don't think it matters exactly.
Melissa:
Was it one piece of furniture? It wasn't a pile of things that he found? It's like a gold mine of chestnut furniture that I can... resell for 50 times.
Sabrina:
Yeah, this seems like a terrible business idea.
Taha:
He's chopping it into bits, so he's definitely committing to not having vintage furniture.
Sabrina:
Okay.
Tom:
He's committing to the bits. Okay.
Taha:
He was trying to create something that was lost to time. And the bare wood... was important in that. So you have to sort of think in a more... traditional process. What could he be sort of trying to—
Sabrina:
Some guy named Bryan is cat—
Is it used for wine? He's trying to make a barrel out of this specific wood. And he's—
Or a whiskey. And he's just trying to—
Melissa:
A chestnut barrel.
Sabrina:
Yeah, people do that, right?
Tom:
People do that. Is he a cooper?
Taha:
Yeah, so you got it. It was used to make whiskey aged with antique chestnut wood.
Sabrina:
Very cool.
Melissa:
I wonder what chestnut smells like.
Taha:
This is an attainable thing. You don't have to—
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
You can know what that smells like. Yeah, so Bryan Davis and his partner founded a company called Lost Spirits in northern California. Until—
Sabrina:
Of course. (giggles)
Taha:
Until the early 20th century, American chestnut wood was used for making many things, including barrels.
The company bought furniture made out from antique American chestnut and processed the wood so that it could recreate authentic whiskey that had been aged with chestnut wood. Whiskey is usually aged in oak barrels.
Adam the question writer says, "I took a tour of Lost Spirits in LA a few years ago and tasted it myself."
So I guess that's a thing you can do. I didn't expect...
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Taha:
an ad read to be in the middle of this.
Tom:
I didn't expect it!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
But you know what? This is a great place to put a mid-roll advert!
Thank you to Ryan Neary for this question.
The colleagues of Hara Masahiro were fed up with tracking car parts in their warehouse. He came up with a solution while playing a game of Go. What was it?
I'll say that again.
The colleagues of Hara Masahiro were fed up with tracking car parts in their warehouse. He came up with a solution while playing a game of Go. What was it?
Sabrina:
Gamer chairs.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina laugh)
Taha:
Go is a game in which there is a board with a grid on it.
Sabrina:
It's like Othello.
Taha:
That I think is a more obscure game.
SFX:
(group cracks up)
Tom:
It totally is. On a world stage, Othello is more obscure. Possibly, North America might be 50-50. But on the world stage, yes, Othello is a bit more obscure.
Taha:
I know what Go is. I have no idea what Othello is.
There are also usually, some sort of bowl on the side with counters of different colours. So maybe they used bowls. They discovered piling things in categories.
SFX:
(Tom and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
Okay, so wait.
A Go game has a grid. The whole purpose of it is to get surrounding areas. So there's the two players, white tiles and black tiles. And based on how you place it, you can claim territory on it.
This is entirely learned through the hit manga and anime series, Hikaru no Go.
Tom:
(snickers)
Sabrina:
Really recommend it. (laughs)
Taha:
Everything I know about Go, I know because of the documentary Alpha Go.
Sabrina:
A significantly less fun way to say that.
Tom:
Producer David has just chimed in that Othello is Reversi, or Reversi, in the US. If anyone knows that.
They're still looking blank, never mind.
Sabrina:
(giggles)
Taha:
Right.
Sabrina:
Okay. So, did he think about a grid system?
Taha:
Yeah, I'm thinking grid system. I'm thinking... bowls.
Sabrina:
(wheezes) You're so on it. Melissa, what are you thinking?
Melissa:
I'm still trying to envision this game. There's tiles? Did you say tiles or no?
Taha:
They're like pebbles.
Sabrina:
They're like pebbles.
Melissa:
You're trying to fill the board?
Taha:
Yeah, basically.
Sabrina:
You're trying to basically create a border around it with your bits.
Melissa:
Okay, so it's not like Blokus.
Sabrina:
You could say it's kind of like Blokus in the sense that you want your bit— Yeah, actually in how you lay bits down, it's like Blokus except instead of taking a tetromino shape, it is a singular grid piece.
Melissa:
Okay.
Sabrina:
Yeah.
Melissa:
I'm there. I'm with you.
Sabrina:
We're there.
Taha:
Right.
Sabrina:
We're all on the same page now, okay.
Taha:
This is a crazy leap. What year was it?
Tom:
I don't actually have that.
Taha:
Okay, interesting.
Tom:
I can look that up, but—
Taha:
Did they invent QR codes?
Tom:
Yes.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa gasp)
Sabrina:
Shut up!
Taha:
I'm the best!
Sabrina:
(applauds)
Tom:
Out of nowhere! You identified all the pieces earlier.
Melissa:
What?
Tom:
It's a grid. There are white pebbles and black pebbles.
Taha:
Yep, that's all I needed.
Sabrina:
You got there.
Tom:
Yep. Masahiro worked at Denso, which was a company selling automotive parts.
Their stock control was so complex, there were ten barcodes on any one box. And he was playing a lunchtime game of Go, looked at the board and thought... "That could work."
I mean, I've summarised a lot of Japanese in three English colloquial words there, but, yes, this was the inventor of the QR code who discovered it over a lunchtime game of Go.
Sabrina:
That's so cool.
Melissa:
That's so cool.
Taha:
Nice.
Sabrina:
Good job, Taha.
Taha:
Thanks. I now know how it feels.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Sabrina, over to you.
Sabrina:
In August of 2019, Rory McIlroy won a $15 million PGA Tour prize for the least [blank]. In November 2023, Rory McIlroy won a $15 million PGA Tour prize partly for the most [blank]. Which word completes both statements, and why?
I'm gonna say it again.
In August of 2019, Rory McIlroy won a $15 million PGA Tour prize for the least [blank]. In November of 2023, Rory McIlroy won a $15 million PGA Tour prize partly for the most [blank]. Which word completes both statements, and why?
Melissa:
So it can't be holes.
Tom:
Fashion sense.
Taha:
Most fashion sense.
Tom:
I don't know where I was going with that.
Melissa:
This is golf related, right?
Sabrina:
It is golf-related. Roy McIlroy is a golfer.
Tom:
And the PGA Tour is golf.
Taha:
Partly for the most... So it's partly for the most, but it's for the least.
Sabrina:
Yes.
Taha:
So it could be, it could be holes. I assume it's not, because that would be easy.
Tom:
I mean, it could be strokes in a game.
The rules could've changed, or he could be playing a different tournament on the PGA Tour where...
No, there's no golf game where you have to take as many swings as possible at the ball. That's not a thing in golf.
Melissa:
(giggles)
Sabrina:
That's just my golf game.
SFX:
(Tom and Melissa laugh)
Taha:
'Cause it could be the least holes in one. Partly for the most holes in one.
Sabrina:
Interesting.
Melissa:
Hmm.
Sabrina:
I'd say that both prizes are related to his activities as a golfer. But the... That second prize didn't really require him playing any more golf.
Melissa:
Interesting.
Taha:
I don't know anything about golf.
I know that Tiger Woods is a golfer...
and I know that the way you play golf is that you hit small, white balls with sticks and there is a hole you have to get them in. So that's...
Sabrina:
It sounds like you know about as much as the average person about golf.
Taha:
Okay, so that's workable.
Tom:
Okay, he won a prize for the least something... and won a prize for the most something, but that's partly on the second one.
Is it endorsements? He won a prize for being the most independent, least endorsed golfer, and that gave him a huge amount of money. And then there's also a prize for someone who has taken on the emo— just every single bit of product placement he can fit all over his outfit, and they're like... "Sure, you get a small prize for that."
Sabrina:
You're saying that this is capturing him selling out?
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Tom:
Yes. Yeah.
In those four years, he went from having no endorsements and won a big pay prize for being the most independent golfer, to being the most endorsed.
Sabrina:
I'd say that it would be absolutely bonkers to give somebody $15 million for selling out. (giggles)
Taha:
Yeah. "Hey, you get paid loads of money. We should give you more money."
Melissa:
Hmm.
Sabrina:
(laughs) Okay.
Okay, so, these two prizes, the one for the least and one partly for the most...
Only one word fits both of these. And I'd say the first hint is... pretty much what you'd expect for a golf award, if you know anything about golf.
The second one is a little bit more of like a... "Ooh, that's—"
Taha:
Oh, they're not the same award.
Sabrina:
They're not the same award. (wheezes)
Taha:
That... changes things.
Melissa:
But the word fits.
Tom:
But it's the same word. It's the same word in both blanks. Or same words.
Sabrina:
It's the same word.
Tom:
Same single word in both places.
Sabrina:
Same word, singular.
Taha:
Club.
Sabrina:
(giggles) The least club and the most club.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa laugh)
Melissa:
Friends? No.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
Well...
Taha:
How do you measure that?
Sabrina:
I'd say that in the Melissa sense of perceiving the universe, I think that you can get from friends to the correct answer, if you want to chase that rabbit hole.
Taha:
Teammates.
Sabrina:
No...?
Taha:
Melissa sense.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa crack up)
Sabrina:
I feel like it's not a fruitful route for me.
Tom:
Isn't that a Disney villain?
Taha:
A what?
Sabrina:
Maleficent? (giggles)
Tom:
Thank you. Thank you for completing my joke there, Sabrina. I appreciate it.
Sabrina:
Thank you.
Taha:
Nice. Alright, what would you award— If you were inventing golf awards... what would be the awards that you would invent? I would go for...
Sabrina:
(giggles) The man who said that he knows nothing about golf. What would he go for?
Taha:
Most holes in one. That's a good one. Least holes overall. Lifetime.
Sabrina:
Least holes overall. Hold on. (laughs)
Melissa:
That's definitely not an award.
Tom:
Okay, I'm gonna—
Melissa, I don't know you nearly as well as Sabrina. But I'm going to try and track Sabrina's knowledge of you and this idea that in your world we can connect with friends.
That this could be something about... birdies, or... something to do with the golf score, which is all about animals, because animals are our friends.
That's the logic jump I've gotten ahead. Is it right? I don't know.
Taha:
Listen. Definitely could be, Tom.
Melissa will react to Slack messages with the cow emoji, and then in meetings be like, "I think it's obvious what I meant by that."
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
And it's not always that I've just seen the message, like, thumbs up. There is sometimes a meaning behind it.
Sabrina:
Sometimes there's opinion.
There's actually, yeah, I agreed. I disagreed. This was very moo of you, you know? (laughs)
Taha:
So, you know...
Sabrina:
But, you know—
Taha:
Anything can go.
Tom:
Which is actually quite apt because there used to be a thing in US colleges, I think it was, among the nerdy groups that... if you had a negative question that you wanted to answer no to, so it would be illogical to say no, but then the answer would be moo, I think.
That is your double negative thing?
Taha:
Okay, I didn't want you to side with Melissa here.
Tom:
I know you didn't want me to validate that. But I'm going to. I'm on Melissa's side here.
Sabrina:
Okay. But let's circle back to where we were.
Tom:
Let's stop bullying Melissa, sorry.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
I think, Tom, you were... on the right track, not for the reasons why I thought it would work for Melissa. But it does— One of the blanks can be filled with something related to the very predictable golf score.
Tom:
Wait, you said it's the same word?
Sabrina:
It's the same word.
Melissa:
Does it have a double meaning?
Taha:
Surely.
Sabrina:
Mhm.
Tom:
Okay.
Melissa:
Mm.
Taha:
Okay, you got a hole in one.
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Melissa:
That's three words.
Taha:
Turkey! Is that what?
Sabrina:
That's bowling.
Tom:
That's bowling.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Taha:
Oh.
Melissa:
For the most— For the least turkeys and partly more...
Taha:
Isn't it all birds? Isn't that the whole thing?
Tom:
Strokes.
Sabrina:
That's true.
Tom:
When it was the least, he was having a really good time on the golf course.
And when it was the most, he just had a really bad medical time.
Taha:
(squeaks)
Tom:
He just— It was just a bad year for his brain.
SFX:
(guests sobbing)
Taha:
He smelled too much toast.
Sabrina:
I was nodding. Until I didn't know—
I forgot that there was a second meaning to the word 'strokes'.
Taha:
He was in the band The Strokes.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Sabrina:
It does have something to do with the word 'strokes'. But, not... not the word 'strokes'.
The meaning of the word 'strokes', if you will. There's a word for that.
It's... can be found in a thesaurus. I forgot the actual word for the things that can...
Taha:
Synonyms.
Sabrina:
There we go.
Melissa:
Okay.
Sabrina:
The word that you're looking for... is four letters, and it's a plural.
Tom:
Hits. The most... Hits. The most hits of the ball.
Sabrina:
Mhm. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Okay, so, fill in the blanks. Talk me through it.
Taha:
So, he got an award for the least hits.
Tom:
Because he hit the ball the least times and won something. He won an actual golf game.
Sabrina:
Nailed it.
Taha:
He's got the most hits in the band The Strokes. He has a music career.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sabrina:
(giggles)
Tom:
I cannot work out what the most hits would be an award for.
Taha:
What's the other meaning of 'hits'?
Melissa:
Like, a music hit.
Taha:
Like a music hit? Or high intensity interval training?
Melissa:
(snickers)
Sabrina:
Imagine... Imagine your father is like, "Oh, look, he's got so many hits."
Tom:
Wait, from going viral. He was the most followed, most successful social media person.
Taha:
Oh.
Sabrina:
That's it.
Melissa:
What?
Tom:
They gave him an award for that?!
Sabrina:
(cackles) Okay—
Taha:
He's already an influencer. He doesn't need more money.
Tom:
Because it was something that was voted on by the public, he was the MVP or something. It was the player— public's choice award, and it was based on public voting.
Sabrina:
It actually wasn't even that. It was the more depressing answer you gave. (laughs)
Taha:
What, most followed?
Sabrina:
Basically, the word is 'hits'. The first one was just for playing good golf. The goal is to hit the ball the least amount of times. And the second one was for appearing in internet searches. (giggles)
Melissa:
Ohhh! Okay, wait, we need to rewind. How does that have anything to do with friends?
Sabrina:
Listen, I thought that you could get to friends, to MySpace, to social media, to the internet.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Melissa:
Okay.
Sabrina:
The winner of the 2019 PGA Tour Championship was decided by a single tournament playoff between the top 30 golfers. McIlroy took the fewest strokes, or hits, over four rounds to win a $15 million top prize. He's just good at golf.
But the PGA Tour has a $100 million fund called the Player Impact Program.
The winners are decided by how much exposure, sponsorship, publicity, and general awareness the player brings to the game of golf. This includes how many internet searches – or hits– they appear in.
Once again, McIlroy was awarded a top prize of $15 million.
Melissa:
Dang.
Tom:
I hate that question.
Sabrina:
He was given money for being famous.
Taha:
Golf is one of those games where you train your whole life to play the game the least.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sabrina:
Oh, they play a lot of golf. I'll say this, that golfers play a lot of golf.
Taha:
Yeah, but the competition is, hey, who— which one of you can play the game the least?
Sabrina:
Oh, you're right.
Tom:
The last bit of the show then. Thank you to Marcus for sending in this question that I asked to the audience at the start.
Why were customers disappointed when Steve Commisar sold them a solar-powered clothes dryer for $49.95?
Sabrina:
Can I guess? I feel like I have it.
Tom:
I think you might well have this, Sabrina.
Sabrina:
Taha or Melissa, do you want to go first? To experience the exhilaration.
Taha:
Because this solar-powered clothes dryer is just a washing line?
Sabrina:
(laughs)
Tom:
Sabrina?
Sabrina:
Yes, I was imagining he sold them a drying rack that you could put outside.
Tom:
Yep, they just received a simple clothesline. You're absolutely right. It was either a joke or a scam, depending on your point of view.
And this is a man who has been arrested and convicted of fraud several times, and who now, inevitably, runs a podcast called Scam Junkie.
Melissa:
Dang.
Taha:
Wow.
Tom:
Thank you very much to all three of our players.
I can't remember what order I went in last time. Sabrina, we'll start with you.
Tell the world about Answer in Progress and what you're up to.
Sabrina:
Hello. Answer in Progress is a YouTube channel where we ask a question and then fumble our way to an answer, much like how we did here.
Tom:
Taha, what kind of questions?
Taha:
We've answered questions like, "Why is New York pizza so good?" or "What's the deal with soap? Is it a thing?"
Tom:
(laughs) And Melissa, where can people find you?
Melissa:
You can find us at youtube.com/answerinprogress or youtube.com/@answerinprogress.
Tom:
And you can find more about this show at lateralcast.com, where you can also send in your own ideas for listener questions. And you can see us a few times a week at youtube.com/lateralcast, and we are at @lateralcast basically everywhere.
With that, thank you very much to all the folks from Answer in Progress: Taha Khan!
Taha:
Hello!
Tom:
Melissa Fernandes!
Melissa:
You mean bye!
Tom:
And Sabrina Cruz!
Sabrina:
Maybe!
Tom:
And I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.
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