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Episode 97: Mexican Robocop
Published 16th August, 2024
Sabrina Cruz, Melissa Fernandes and Taha Khan from 'Answer in Progress' face questions about comical connections, little lakes and technical tofu.
HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: Eli Kaufer, Aaron Solomon, Alex Child, David Lau, Naanchawal. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott.
Transcript
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
In a comedy sketch for NBC, why was a pop star's waist connected to a machine?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
On today's show, we welcome back a very popular group with our listeners, the team from Answer in Progress!
Taha:
Nice!
Melissa:
Hello!
Sabrina:
Yeah! Yeah!
Taha:
Yeah! We win!
Sabrina:
We're cheering for ourselves!
Tom:
The last time they were on the show, Taha described the scripted introduction as rubbish.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa gasp)
Tom:
So please rest assured that the producer has not taken umbrage at this at all.
Sabrina:
(stifles giggling)
Tom:
First, someone with wit as sharp as a diamond-encrusted scalpel, who can explain complex concepts in such a way that even a toddler would nod sagely.
It's Sabrina Cruz!
Sabrina:
Hello!
Melissa:
(laughs)
Taha:
Oh no!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
Oh no!
Tom:
Welcome back to the show, Sabrina. How are you doing?
Sabrina:
I am so glad that I never beef with the crew!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
Okay.
Tom:
What are you working on at the minute for Answer In Progress? What's been going on behind the scenes?
Sabrina:
I am currently working on a video about dark mode and then another one about the recorder.
Which one will be out? Hopefully both of them by the time this episode's here.
Tom:
Well, thank you very much for heading back and seeing us again.
Next, someone who's not just well-read, they've practically inhaled an entire library. Her charm and grace make statues of the goddess Aphrodite cry.
Welcome to Melissa Fernandes!
Melissa:
What an introduction! Hello!
SFX:
(group cracks up)
Tom:
How are you doing, Melissa?
Melissa:
I'm doing well. I just finished up a video, so I'm feeling good. Ready to move on to the next one.
Just finished up a video about luxury candles, and that was fun.
Tom:
I really enjoyed that video because I was gifted a very expensive scented candle, and I did not understand it. And now I understand it.
Melissa:
(laughs) That's amazing.
Tom:
And the third member of Answer in Progress, Taha Khan.
SFX:
(group laughs uproariously)
Taha:
Yay!
That was better than anything I could've imagined. I was like, what could it be?
SFX:
(others choke-laugh)
Taha:
Was it going to be about my wall that's always, like, you know, this, yeah.
Tom:
I will add that also, in brackets, I have, "chat, chat". And then for Taha, I have, "chat if you must".
Which just seems an unnecessary thing to write when it's just a gag for me, really. But thought I'd share that.
How are you doing, Taha? What are you working on?
Taha:
That's so funny. I'm doing great. That gave me a great laugh.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Taha:
I still think it's rubbish. Do better.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
I'm fine with that. It's great for me.
Tom:
What are you working on for the show at the moment?
Taha:
I'm working on a video about foley. It's going to be with an award-winning foley artist.
If you don't know what foley is, it's the sounds that are done after a film is made. The tapping and the... and everything.
So, really excited for people to see that when it comes out.
Tom:
Are you getting to foley your own film here?
Taha:
Maybe, yes.
Sabrina:
(cracks up)
Taha:
We definitely foleyed some shots already. So half of the video is already in a can.
The other half, we will see how good I can be with this foley stuff.
SFX:
(others laugh softly)
Taha:
That's yet to be done.
Tom:
Well, good luck to all three of you. Thank you for coming back again to be on the show. It is always lovely to have you here. Good luck today.
Our questions are a bit like fireworks. Colourful, surprising, and best not handled without a two-day training course. I've got a banger of a first question, and here it is.
Taha:
Ahh.
Tom:
When Wilhelm could make out his wife's wedding ring in 1895, the world was never the same again. Why?
I'll say that again.
When Wilhelm could make out his wife's wedding ring in 1895, the world was never the same again. Why?
Melissa:
I gotta ask a silly question. (whispering) Who—Who is this?
Sabrina:
(hoots) Which Wilhelm?
Melissa:
(giggles)
Sabrina:
Is it related to the War?
Taha:
Is it related to the scream?
Sabrina:
Ooh!
Tom:
The scream?
Taha:
The Wilhelm s— The Wilhelm scream?
Tom:
Oh, the Wilhelm scream.
Sabrina:
You're deep in sound. (giggles)
Melissa:
Wow.
Taha:
Yeah, I truly am.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
He saw his wife's wedding ring and screamed. And that was used in every movie since.
Taha:
Okay, so none of us know who Wilhelm is? Is that what we're establishing?
Sabrina:
Correct.
Melissa:
I'm glad to be of the majority here.
Sabrina:
Okay, 1895. What was happening?
Melissa:
Where?
Sabrina:
I wasn't alive.
Taha:
Battle of Hastings is done. That was 1066.
Tom:
(laughs) Yep, it's somewhere between the Battle of Hastings and World War II. That, I'll give you.
Taha:
Yeah.
Sabrina:
'Wilhelm' has strong Habsburg energy. They did stuff.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina chuckle)
Taha:
Okay, so if we ignore Wilhelm, maybe Wilhelm is just, like... old-timey name for William. And it's a riddle, rather than a historical thing.
Sabrina:
Ooh!
Melissa:
So just a Will? Just a William?
Taha:
Willy Helm?
Tom:
I did pronounce it as Vil-helm.
Sabrina:
It's short for Villium, actually.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
Yeah. Okay... so... I was thinking smog?
Sabrina:
Oh, cause he can see versus not see?
Melissa:
Hmm.
Taha:
And then— Or I was thinking fog?
Sabrina:
Glasses!
Taha:
Ahh, yes. Yeah I think that's it, to be honest. I think they invented glasses.
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Taha:
And the world was not the same because the loads of people who were short-sighted had the ability to see further.
Melissa:
What does this have to do with a ring, though?
Sabrina:
It's a small, detailed object. And you get to look at it, and you're like, "Wow! Was it worth the money? Let me look with the glasses!"
SFX:
(Melissa and Tom laugh)
Taha:
Tom hasn't interrupted us. So I'm assuming we're wrong, because he would've been like, "And that's exactly right!"
Melissa:
(laughs)
Tom:
I'm not interrupting because you are, strangely, inching towards the right answer here.
Taha:
Mm, okay.
Tom:
You're not close yet. But certainly you've been talking about inventions, and you've been talking about being able to see things and make things out.
Taha:
So the world would be different if there was a microscope, because you could identify the structures of a crystal.
Identifying different gemstones. So then the value of different stones changed. Maybe that.
Sabrina:
I also just think inventing the microscope was just cool. That's enough.
Taha:
No, that's not enough.
Sabrina:
It doesn't need to be related to capital value.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
Yeah, it's not the microscope. You've basically identified everything except the invention.
Sabrina:
What?
Taha:
Mm, okay, right.
Melissa:
Does it have to do with gemstones? Is that on the right track?
Tom:
Why might it have been convenient for his wife to volunteer?
Sabrina:
Small hands. Smaller bands. Gold? Diamond. I don't know anything about...
SFX:
(Melissa and Sabrina giggle)
Taha:
What are you trying to get at? What do we know so far?
Sabrina:
I assume— Okay, so—
As somebody who read a fair bit about the history of glasses and lenses, I do think that it predates 1895. I think people were able to wear glasses before then.
Tom:
Yes, definitely.
Sabrina:
It probably has to do with the material structure of the ring?
Oh, he's nodding. He's nodding on the podcast. Audio format. (giggles)
Melissa:
Material structure of the ring...
Tom:
Well, if I just nod, it makes you sound smarter.
Sabrina:
Oh, thank you, actually, my bad. He wasn't nodding. I just knew I was on the right track.
What's different between a man and a woman's wedding rings?
Melissa:
Usually, a big rock on it.
Sabrina:
(chortles) Oh, a big... Has it gotta be?
Melissa:
Well, a rock.
Taha:
Damn.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
So does it have to do with— But I— We knew that diamonds were good, bef— We knew that they were hard and good, right?
Taha:
Well, what about cubic zirconium? Is that what it's called?
Sabrina:
You think he invented the fake diamond?
Taha:
Oh, I thought that was just— To be honest, I thought that was just another stone that looked like a diamond.
Melissa:
Moissanite is a fake diamond. Cubic zirconium is different, right?
Sabrina:
I don't know enough about rocks. My apologies.
Taha:
Yeah, me neither.
Sabrina:
(wheezes)
Taha:
Uh-oh.
Tom:
You're right that he was looking at an image rather than the real thing. When you're talking about microscopes, that sort of thing.
It's not a microscope, but it is an invention that certainly reveals something in the same—
Melissa:
Is it an X-ray?
Tom:
X-rays!
Melissa:
But what does that have to do with the finger?
Tom:
So what might Wilhelm have done?
Melissa:
Okay, let's Mad Lib this. Let's Mad Lib...
Taha:
Bring it home, Melissa.
Sabrina:
Let's go, let's go!
Melissa:
Okay.
Sabrina:
Popcorn style.
Melissa:
He used the X-ray to... (snorts)
Taha:
Look!
Sabrina:
At!
Melissa:
Guys!
SFX:
(Melissa and Sabrina cackle)
Taha:
Look at guys?! He's married!
Sabrina:
No, okay, I'm assuming that he X-rayed— Did he X-ray his wife's hand? Did she get an injury or something?
Tom:
The very first X-ray was the left hand of Wilhelm Röntgen's wife, Anna. That was the very first time there was a successful X-ray.
So it showed the bones of her hand and the wedding ring completely blacked out.
Sabrina:
Ooooh.
Melissa:
Oooh.
Taha:
Ohhh, yeah. That's crazy.
Sabrina:
Why her hand?
Taha:
But also imagine you say to your significant other, "Hey, I'm working with some really experimental stuff right now. Could be dangerous. Do you want to volunteer your hand?"
Tom:
Well, I mean, for a long time, they didn't realise it was dangerous.
Sabrina:
Classic.
Taha:
Danger was invented later.
SFX:
(group chuckling)
Tom:
I'm pretty sure that there would've been other tests first, but the first successful X-ray of inside the human body, of seeing the bones, was his wife Anna.
Sabrina:
Ohh.
Melissa:
Interesting.
Tom:
There were some early X-ray machines that just constantly illuminated a screen.
Taha:
Uh-oh.
Tom:
So if you're having your foot measured, or your foot analysed, you would just put it in a beam of X-rays, and the tube at the other end would glow. And they would just analyse your posture in the shop.
And... that did not survive the realisation that X-rays cause cancer.
Sabrina:
Today I learned...
Taha:
That makes sense.
Sabrina:
I'm not entirely sure how X-rays work. This is good! (laughs)
Tom:
(laughs)
Taha:
Can I have a guess?
Tom:
Yeah.
Taha:
I'm pretty sure they shoot the rays through you, they bounce off a backboard, and then they get bounced back towards a camera that collects the X-rays. And it's a photo.
Tom:
Not quite. The X-rays get sent—
Taha:
Oh—! The camera's on the other side.
Tom:
The camera's on the other side, yes. So you have an X-ray source, and then you have a camera on the other side.
Or, in, I think it was called a fluoroscope... you just have something that reacts to X-rays, and you just look at it. And later on, they realised that perhaps, cameras might be a better idea.
Melissa:
Huh.
Sabrina:
(wheezes) Huh. Neat! You learn something new every day.
Tom:
So yes, this was Wilhelm Röntgen taking the first internal X-ray of a human in 1895.
Taha:
Very handy.
Tom:
Ayyyyy! Each of the Answer in Progress team has brought a question with them. We're going to start today with Taha.
Taha:
Okay!
This question has been sent in by Aaron Solomon.
Lawrence Sperry has two claims to fame. In 1914, he demonstrated the first autopilot system. Furthermore, he was one of the founding members of what?
I'll say that again.
Lawrence Sperry has two claims to fame. In 1914, he demonstrated the first autopilot system. Furthermore, he is one of the founding members of what?
Sabrina:
Footwear company.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Melissa:
What?
Sabrina:
Sperry shoes. This is a thing. They're boat shoes, right? (laughs)
Melissa:
Yeah, okay.
Taha:
Are they?
Tom:
I have not heard of those?
Sabrina:
Oh? North America?
Taha:
Yeah, sorry.
Sabrina:
Continental trade? Anyway, 1914. That's war times, right? Question mark?
Tom:
You're right. 1914 is the first year of the First World War.
Sabrina:
Mhm.
Melissa:
Mm.
Tom:
Yeah, what were planes being used for at that point? It wasn't exactly taking tourist flights.
Sabrina:
This— I'm just gonna remember that one thing about pigeons. Was he really into birds? Was he— What's the bird society called?
Tom:
Which one thing about pigeons?
Sabrina:
You know the thing about pigeons when they were training homing stuff? With the— They were like, "Oh, let's send a bomb this way and pilot it with a pigeon." Was the pigeon one of the first autopilot things?
Melissa:
Oh!
Tom:
The pigeon bombs, yeah. Which always gets a laugh. And then, it's like, nah, this is pretty horrific.
They trained pigeons to tap on targets by training them with food, and that would guide the bomb. It didn't work well, but it was an experiment.
I suspect that was Second World War. That feels Second World War to me.
Sabrina:
Was the autopilot for the sky, do you guys think? Or for land, or sea?
Taha:
I'm gonna say it's for planes.
Tom:
Alright.
Sabrina:
Okay.
Melissa:
Okay.
Taha:
Yeah.
Tom:
'Cause to be fair, autopilot for a boat is a bit of rope. You just kinda hold the wheel in position, and it'll go.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
I would've been able to showcase that in 1914. Makes this guy seem a lot less impressive. But okay. So 1914, planes. I'm gonna say FAA, CAA... Whatever the European equivalent of the FAA is.
Tom:
The founding member of something. So it's gotta be a club or an organisation, or...
Sabrina:
But it also has to be pretty late in existence. I feel like the 1914s, a lot of organizations already existed.
Melissa:
Is it international?
Taha:
Yes, but basically anyone could become a member of this club.
Melissa:
Anyone? Any civilian? Or like you've gotta be...
Sabrina:
A child? A dog.
Taha:
Mmm, not a child.
Sabrina:
(snickers)
Taha:
Not a dog.
Sabrina:
Okay.
Taha:
(laughs) An adult person.
Sabrina:
So, something very niche. Is it the club of people killed by their own inventions?
Taha:
Uh, no.
Sabrina:
(laughs) Okay, nice.
Taha:
Their first claim to fame made the second one possible.
Tom:
I was gonna say, no, this doesn't make sense. I was gonna say parachute club. Because you would be able to bail out, but you're not gonna get back in the plane. The plane is still just gonna go on autopilot and then crash.
It made sense in my head until I thought about it.
Sabrina:
(laughs)
Taha:
The club is— All the members in the club have done a thing, rather than it being an institution of some sort.
Sabrina:
Gotcha, okay.
Tom:
(laughs) Oh, oh no. It's not the Mile High Club, is it?
Melissa:
I didn't want to be the one to bring that up.
Sabrina:
Don't you dare!
Melissa:
No.
Tom:
No.
Sabrina:
No.
Taha:
It is the Mile High Club.
Melissa:
Oh my god!
Sabrina:
Noooo!
SFX:
(guessers laughing)
Melissa:
I was like, this isn't— This wouldn't be the answer on this podcast, right? Turns out it is!
Tom:
Always say the silly thing. I'm sorry for sniping that from you by daring to say it.
Melissa:
(giggles)
Taha:
Honestly, I... I was also surprised that I was given this question.
SFX:
(guessers laughing)
Taha:
I was like, "Oh, the question writer's..."
Tom:
I thought it was actually going to be the club of people who've fallen asleep in a plane or something like that. Or been able to cross the Atlantic because they've been able to— solo, because they've been able to take naps.
But no, it's the Mile High Club.
Melissa:
That's funny.
Tom:
Okay, wonderful.
Melissa:
That's great. Would you like to explain that, Taha?
Taha:
Sure.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina laugh)
Tom:
Thank you for dobbing Taha in on that one and not me. I really appreciate it.
Taha:
So, two years after inventing autopilot, Lawrence Sperry took Cynthia Polk up for flying lessons.
While in flight, he turned on the autopilot, so he and his student could get to know each other a little more intimately.
SFX:
(guessers cringe-laugh)
Taha:
Unfortunately, the autopilot system disengaged, causing the plane to crash into the bay.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa gasp)
Taha:
When they were rescued, they were found stark naked. They tried making excuses, since Miss Polk was married at the time.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina gasp)
Melissa:
Scandalous!
Taha:
A tabloid headline read, "Aerial Petting Ends in Wetting".
Sabrina:
Yes!
Tom:
Ohh!
Sabrina:
Oh my god!
Taha:
It is widely believed that the pair were first to join this "exclusive club".
Melissa:
(snorts)
Taha:
To demonstrate that his autopilot system worked, Sperry stood on the wing of his plane, winning a $10,000 prize for aeronautical safety.
Melissa:
Wow.
Taha:
There you go. Tom, you've made me read a lot more about the Mile High Club than I ever wanted to in a public setting.
Tom:
Next question was sent in by David Lau. Thank you very much
Lake Hood in Anchorage, Alaska is less than 100 hectares in area and not connected with any other waterways. It's ringed with over 500 docks, many of which are used daily. Why is this small lake so popular?
I'll say that again.
Lake Hood in Anchorage, Alaska is less than 100 hectares in area and is not connected with any other waterways. It's ringed with over 500 docks, many of which are used daily. Why is this small lake so popular?
Sabrina:
So who here knows what a hectare is?
Melissa:
I was just gonna ask. In relation to a football field, what— how big is that?
Taha:
I'm pretty sure it's... Is it 10 acres? Or maybe it's 100 acres.
Sabrina:
Buddy, what's an acre?
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
Oh. Oh, okay.
Melissa:
What's a yard?
Taha:
Right.
Tom:
An acre is the old imperial measurement. A hectare is the metric measurement.
So, it's difficult to get a handle on this thing, but a hectare is about... 1½ football fields, more or less.
So, it's not a big lake.
Taha:
Now, I don't know the answer. But I feel like I do.
Tom:
Ooh?
Melissa:
Okay.
Taha:
So, I can throw in a guess.
Tom:
Yeah.
Taha:
And see if it's just immediately right. So it's Alaska.
Tom:
Yep.
Taha:
And I think... Maybe I learned this in a Tom Scott episode, but there is some places in Alaska that are weirdly Canada. And so, maybe this lake... they have to cross the lake, so they don't... to get to the other side of the city.
Because... if they took land, they would have to go into Canada before they got to the other side of the city. So the lake is the only way to stay in America.
Tom:
That is Point Roberts in British Columbia and the Northwest Angle in the... I'm not sure which area, but the Atlantic coast.
And I've never filmed either of them, Taha. (laughs)
Taha:
Ahh.
Tom:
But so many people have that I can see why you believed it.
SFX:
(guests chuckling)
Melissa:
Okay.
Tom:
Not in this case. Those are all land borders. To the best of my knowledge, there isn't... a water border like that.
And this is Anchorage, Alaska. So this is not on the border.
Melissa:
Maybe the water is really clear. I'm just going for the touristy angle.
Sabrina:
It's just good for the Instagram.
Melissa:
It's just got— It just reflects the sky like no other lake.
Sabrina:
They just like it. They have boats. And they needed somewhere to put them.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Melissa:
There's probably no fish in this lake, if there's nothing else that's connected to it, and it's small.
Sabrina:
Then is it a mineral deposit maybe? Where it's just like—
Melissa:
It's like a spa.
Sabrina:
Ooh, ooh, wasn't going there, but oh. Like a little ice plunge?
Taha:
Yeah, like a hot— Like the weather, where the Earth's mantle is thin.
Melissa:
Or there's so many minerals in it where you go and you... I don't know, you just don't put your hair in it.
That's in Iceland, but something similar to that lake, body of water. Whatever that is. I don't know what it's called. What is it called?
Sabrina:
A lake is a body of water.
SFX:
(both giggling)
Melissa:
No, but the specific—
Sabrina:
Are you saying hot spring? Are you trying to find the word for hot spring?
Melissa:
There's this one specific— This has nothing to do with Alaska, but there's this one specific place in Iceland where people go to have face masks. You can't put your hair in it because it's too mineral-y or salty.
Tom:
It's the Blue Lagoon, near Keflavík.
Melissa:
Lagoon, that's, that was the phrase I was trying to get to.
Sabrina:
Ahh.
Tom:
Which, weirdly, is not actually a natural thing.
It's the runoff from a geothermal power plant that people realise there's so many minerals in there, it was good for the skin, and it got turned into a tourist attraction.
Taha:
Did I learn this from a Tom Scott video?
Tom:
Yes, you did.
Sabrina:
(cackles)
Taha:
Okay, great.
Melissa:
There you go.
Sabrina:
Okay, so, could you read the first bit of the question again? What is it about the docks and the rings of docks?
Tom:
Yeah, so this is Lake Hood in Anchorage, Alaska. It is a small lake, not connected to any other waterways, but there are 500 docks all the way around it, many of which are used every day.
Taha:
Are they used for boats? That's my question.
Tom:
No.
Sabrina:
Seaplanes.
Tom:
Keep going, Sabrina.
Sabrina:
Seaplanes need a place to land.
And I've been to Alaska. There's one airport. And sometimes you just need to get to places.
So maybe it's easier for a plane to land in that lake, and then you could just hop off on one of the docks, rather than flying into an airport and taking a long drive to wherever you need to get.
Melissa:
You can land a plane in water?
Sabrina:
It's called a seaplane!
Melissa:
(laughs)
Sabrina:
You watch National Treasure. I'm pretty sure they use a seaplane in there.
Melissa:
I don't know, it was probably during some action scene.
Sabrina:
(laughs) I zone out on those. I only care about Nicolas Cage stealing the Declaration of Independence.
Tom:
You are absolutely right. Lake Hood is a base for seaplanes. It is the largest and busiest in the world.
Sabrina:
That's so wild. How do you... I guess if you just gotta get around.
Tom:
Yep.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
That's fair.
Melissa:
Wow.
Tom:
There aren't roads. There aren't really many interior runways.
So if you want a quick and convenient way to get around in that bit of Alaska, a seaplane is honestly one of the better options.
Sabrina:
Has anyone here been in a seaplane?
Melissa:
No, I— Is it— No. Is it as small as a helicopter?
Sabrina:
It's a plane, Melissa. It's a plane that has bits on the bottom. (laughs)
Melissa:
But how big is it? (chortles) You know?
Sabrina:
An individual— A smaller plane size. Not a super big plane size.
Taha:
Great, thanks Sabrina.
Melissa:
That's a really great description.
Sabrina:
No, you know a prop plane? It's got that energy.
Tom:
Yeah, they're not landing a... They're not landing an Airbus. They're not landing an A380 in here.
Melissa:
Okay, okay.
Tom:
It's a little— I've been on one that does the run from Vancouver to Victoria. And you can fit maybe ten people in there and some luggage.
Melissa:
Okay.
Tom:
And it comes in at a terrifying angle into Victoria because they have to go really steep in there. And genuinely, there's a moment where I'm like, I can only see water out of the front of this plane right now. This is terrifying.
Sabrina:
Oh no. The water scares me. I've come to respect her greatly.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Tom:
Lake Hood is in Anchorage, Alaska. There are 200 seaplane flights from there on a typical day.
It is a tiny lake that is the largest and busiest seaplane base in the world.
Melissa, it is over to you for the next question.
Melissa:
Alright, so this question has been sent in by Alex Child. Here we go.
Every afternoon, Tabitha opened a can of cola while at work. When she forgot to do this one day, someone hurt themselves that evening. How?
One more time.
Sabrina:
(wheezes) What?
Melissa:
Every afternoon, Tabitha opened a can of cola while at work. When she forgot to do this one day, someone hurt themselves that evening. How?
Sabrina:
She's just dedicated to the Diet Coke lifestyle. And when she realized that, she was devastated.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
Broke her heart.
Taha:
She's not like herself without the Coke.
SFX:
(giggling resumes)
Tom:
None of you are going to remember the 1990s Diet Coke advert that just had a load of female office workers ogling the men cleaning the windows or the construction workers outside?
Melissa:
Nope.
Taha:
Well, no.
Tom:
No, okay.
Taha:
I think I would've been... what, two, one?
Melissa:
I think I might've been negative two. Just in the '90s.
Sabrina:
Oh my god. (laughs)
Tom:
But you have someone with a female name opening a can of cola.
I'm thinking, okay, that's someone hurting themselves at the end of the day because they did not get ogled out the window.
I don't— That advert is still stuck in my head.
Taha:
I see.
Sabrina:
Ah.
Melissa:
I see, I see.
Taha:
'Cause the advert was actually a documentary.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Tom:
I cannot express just how much pop culture revolved around that for just one summer when the advert was on. That got parroted in a lot of places.
Taha:
So this is your version of the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad.
Sabrina:
Making Peace.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
So she's a Diet Coke girly. I'm just assuming.
Tom:
We haven't established that, by the way. Other colas are available.
Sabrina:
(laughs) No, no, no, no.
Taha:
Right.
Sabrina:
Name brand only.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina laugh)
Taha:
Someone got hurt, right?
Melissa:
Mhm.
Taha:
My question is... is who is the one doing the hurting?
Sabrina:
Mm.
Taha:
Is it...
Melissa:
Mm.
Taha:
...the absence of the Coke can? Or is it the woman herself?
Sabrina:
Or somebody else? Some mysterious third party.
Tom:
Okay, let me play out a scenario here.
Every single day, she opens her regular afternoon can of cola just to get some caffeine in. Drinks it. Puts it in the recycling bin. Nothing else is in the recycling bin. Someone is— Someone that night is so used to there being that can of cola there, that they just overextend and...
Sabrina:
(giggles increasingly)
Tom:
and hurt their fist on the bottom of the tra—
Someone help me here! I was really hoping someone was gonna help workshop this.
Sabrina:
I thought that we were going in the same direction, but I was assuming maybe she's diabetic, and she's just used to consuming sugar regularly. And to not have that sugar could lead to injury on account of the diabetes.
Melissa:
Taha, did you want to say something?
Sabrina:
Dang!
Melissa:
Before I jump in real quick?
Sabrina:
Tom, you and I, we got rejected! Melissa doesn't want us.
Taha:
Yeah.
SFX:
(Melissa and Sabrina giggle)
Tom:
Argh!
Taha:
Maybe, maybe she was sponsored by Coca Cola, and then when she didn't drink the Coke, they sent hitmen to her house
Sabrina:
(cackles)
Taha:
...as consequence for breaking their contract.
Sabrina:
This is the one.
Tom:
There's gotta be some unusual reason she's opening this can, surely, or having this can.
Sabrina:
Does she do product testing?
Tom:
She's feeding hummingbirds. She's...
Taha:
How about this?
The can is used to prop up something, like... you know sometimes, you know, when I go to Pakistan, you'll see people use bits of trash, and they mould it into something for structural integrity in very sketchy marketplaces and things.
So maybe every day, she puts it somewhere.
Melissa:
I mean, we're getting a little warmer.
Sabrina:
Oh?
Melissa:
She's using it...
Taha:
Okay.
Melissa:
...for something.
Sabrina:
So she's using the can.
Melissa:
I think we should clarify here. She's not drinking it.
Sabrina:
(gasps)
Melissa:
She's not consuming the cola.
Tom:
Oh, okay.
Melissa:
But she's using it.
Tom:
Oh, 'cause I had the idea that someone was so used to that single empty can of cola that she just throws away. She doesn't put it in the trash, it's just down on the ground. And they just habitually just kick it into the bin every night.
And then it's a full can one day...
Sabrina:
(cackles)
Tom:
And they just break their toe.
Taha:
Yeah.
Sabrina:
You painted a masterpiece story there.
Taha:
(snickers)
Sabrina:
Okay, so she's using... Either she's not drinking the liquids, but she cracks open the can...
Melissa:
Mhm.
Tom:
So that's going to attract insects and... I was thinking hummingbirds originally, but that's going to attract insects and things to the—
Taha:
Mosquitoes.
Sabrina:
Mmm.
Taha:
Yeah. And then they don't get... malaria?
Sabrina:
But then they— Malaria's bodily harm.
Melissa:
The type of injury... was not related to getting malaria or a disease. It was probably more likely that someone was going to get a sprained ankle or something, something of that variety.
Taha:
(gasps, snaps fingers)
Sabrina:
Go ahead, Taha. You snapped really confidently. I'm gonna give that to you.
SFX:
(Tom and Sabrina laugh)
Taha:
Okay.
Sabrina:
(laughs)
Taha:
Is it that the empty can is on the floor, like Tom said, but someone basically expects it to be empty? So they stamp on it.
But it's full, so then it rolls, and they fall over like it's a banana peel?
Melissa:
Not exactly like that.
Taha:
Melissa looks so done.
SFX:
(Melissa and Sabrina laugh)
Sabrina:
Okay, wait, does she work at—
Melissa:
Not exactly like that, but—
Sabrina:
Does her job matter? Does she work at a recycling plant or something, where she has to... empty out cans?
Melissa:
Her job does matter to this. She's not recycling them. I don't want to give it away, but let me—
Sabrina:
Don't give it away, don't give it away then! If you don't... You don't gotta give it away.
Tom:
Why would you open a can of cola and not drink it?
Melissa:
Where is the Coke being put? What was it used for?
Taha:
Ohh.
Sabrina:
The cola liquid is the key element here then? We've been focusing on the can.
Melissa:
We're getting warmer now. We're getting warmer.
Sabrina:
Oh, okay. What are the uses for Coke?
Melissa:
We should—
Sabrina:
Drinking!
SFX:
(guests crack up)
Taha:
Great.
Sabrina:
Glue!
Melissa:
Tell me more about that. Chase that thought.
Sabrina:
Cola gets a little sticky.
Melissa:
Oh?
Sabrina:
In any condition, quite honestly, it's devastating. You think that there's just a little bit on the bottom of your glass, and you lift it up and everything. It's adhesive for the rest of time.
But every day?! What is she doing?
Melissa:
Every day. And remember... An ankle sprain?
Taha:
Glue.
Melissa:
Some sort of sprain? How would that be the injury?
Sabrina:
Are we creating casts out of Coca-Cola?
Tom:
Is the floor meant to be sticky for some reason? And this is a cheap way of doing it?
Taha:
Mm.
Melissa:
Keep going!
Sabrina:
What— What room?
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
What room needs this adhesiveness?
Tom:
I don't know what floor this would be... but there's some reason that this floor needs to be sticky. And a cheap way of doing that, to the— to whatever concept it is, is just to to wipe it with cola.
So later on, someone who is expecting the floor to be sticky for their job, whatever that is, actually goes flying.
Taha:
Roller skating?
Sabrina:
Ooh!
Tom:
Tap dancing? Or a dancer on a stage? Something like that?
Melissa:
That is correct. Took us a little bit to get there.
Taha:
What is correct?
Sabrina:
What?!
Melissa:
Okay, so, basically, Tabitha works at a ballet studio. So they would pour the sugary cola on the floor, so that the floor wouldn't be as slippery. So that when the dancers are on there, they wouldn't risk breaking their ankle.
Sabrina:
That's so neat!
Taha:
That's so disgusting.
Sabrina:
Everything I learned about ballet, which when I was younger, I was like, "Oh, this is the peak of elegance. Everything must be so fancy and pristine." And then have you ever seen a ballerina prep their pointe shoes?
Melissa:
Yeah, it's gnarly.
Sabrina:
It's brutal. It's a murder.
Melissa:
It's gnarly.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Melissa:
But yeah, Tom, you were right before as well. It's the traditional low-tech solution to put cola in the bucket before mopping the stage, which is known as "coking the stage".
Sabrina:
Ooh!
Tom:
Wow.
Melissa:
It's a fun little phrase.
Sabrina:
This is very neat. This is a cool thing. This is also— There must be so many ants.
Melissa:
I mean, they do clean the stage every night, apparently, so...
Sabrina:
Fair enough.
Melissa:
They do clean it, but that's why she's gotta pour it every day.
Sabrina:
Wow, she really messed up then. That's even worse than just not being a Diet Coke girlie for a day.
Tom:
The next question was sent in by Naanchawal. Thank you very much.
In 2013, why did Google release Noto to prevent frustration from tofu?
(chuckles) I'll say that again.
In 2013, why did Google release Noto to prevent frustration from tofu?
Sabrina:
I'mma just say it. Noto Sans is a font. (snickers) Right?
Taha:
Yeah.
Melissa:
Ohh!
Taha:
Yeah, I was also going there.
Sabrina:
So were people just beefing with a default Google font named Tofu?
And they released Noto Sans with just, it's like it has a few tweaks, so it's a little less annoying to use.
Tom:
You've got the first half of the question immediately.
This is Noto and Noto Sans, the fonts that Google released.
But you haven't got the tofu yet.
Melissa:
What's a tofu keyboard? Is that... different?
Sabrina:
Ohh.
Melissa:
That's the only non-food-related tofu thing that I know of. But I don't know what that really means on a deeper level, other than potentially it's a keyboard name or a type of keycap? Or a type of...
Sabrina:
Mm.
Taha:
How would that relate to fonts? Because depending— The keyboard doesn't get messed up by a font. If it was in Comic Sans, it's not going to work better.
Melissa:
Maybe the letters on the keyboard?
Sabrina:
(wheezes) It wasn't reflecting properly. Could it have been— So it— Is tofu a font? It might not necessarily be like a Latin fo— Is Latin... Latin characters in it? But is it like a... other language font? Other characters?
Taha:
Ahh. Yeah, I see what you mean.
Sabrina:
'Cause I think Noto has a stupid amount of glyphs. It covers basically every language.
Tom:
Yes. This some good knowledge here, Sabrina. You're running through the additional notes I've got here.
More than 77,000 different characters in the various versions of Noto. Supports 1,000 languages, 150 writing systems.
Sabrina:
Yes.
Taha:
Okay, so tofu... Was tofu the predecessor to the people who universalised the emoji? Because I know that there was four or five different emoji standards in Japan in the old days. So maybe Noto covers those in the glyphs.
Tom:
You're close there, Taha, but not quite. You're right that tofu is not a specific font. There's not a cap on this. Tofu is just referring to something.
Sabrina:
'Cause I know that there was a pr— With other writing systems, because they have so many more glyphs and characters in it, it takes— it can take a really long time for them to load.
And I d— I know that Noto was this whole thing where they just made everything a little bit more efficient, and they have it all in one font package... so that you could just use any character from anything, so... I'm just stuck on what tofu is!
Tom:
...Yep.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
So, what problem did Noto solve?
Sabrina:
Wasn't vegan. Tofu was.
SFX:
(scattered snickering)
Taha:
Hmm, yeah.
Melissa:
Hmm.
Sabrina:
What are some problems that Noto solved, then?
Taha:
Kerning. That's usually a problem with fonts.
Sabrina:
(laughs) That's also something that can change.
Taha:
I know, but what I'm saying is they maybe released something that was easier to... 'Cause isn't Noto the one that's monospaced?
Tom:
They've got all sorts of versions of Noto.
Sabrina:
Mhm.
Taha:
Ugh.
Melissa:
Huh. Wait, so tofu is not a font. We've established that.
Tom:
Tofu is not a font.
Sabrina:
Is it a— It's not a food product?
Tom:
It's not a food product, but what does a piece of tofu often look like?
Taha:
A cube.
Melissa:
A brick.
Tom:
Mmm.
Taha:
Maths.
Melissa:
Was the— Was— Is it a file si— Is it a file type?
Tom:
If you don't have a font with this many glyphs, what might you see?
Taha:
Oh, the question mark with the square in it. No, sorry, the square with the question mark in it.
Tom:
Fill that out a bit, Taha.
Taha:
It's like an error, basically. It just gives a placeholder of "Hey, we don't know how to render this thing in this font." So, maybe tofu is a glyph.
Sabrina:
Is it an error message? No way, is that just what it's called? Is that little thing called a—
Taha:
Is the box.
Melissa:
What?
Sabrina:
No way! (laughs)
Tom:
Yeah, it's not always got a question mark, but that sort of default rectangle that is twice as high as it is wide, that just blank square that gets substituted in when there isn't a glyph in a particular font.
That is called tofu.
Sabrina:
Oh, the imagination runs wild. One loves it. One loves to see it.
Melissa:
Wow.
Sabrina:
Okay, so then Noto corrected that problem. It solved that prob— It solved the tofu problem because it just has an absurd array of glyphs and characters.
Melissa:
Wow.
Tom:
Yeah. The name Noto is short for "No Tofu".
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa gasp)
Sabrina:
What?! That's so cool!
Taha:
Wow, that's good.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Tom:
So yeah, you got most of that very early on. You knew what Noto was.
It was just the weird rectangular glyph that says, "I don't know what this character is" that used to be a much bigger problem. Google's big stack of Noto fonts got rid of that tofu for a lot of people on mobile phones.
Sabrina, the next question is yours.
Sabrina:
Alright, everyone.
This question has been sent in by Eli Kaufer.
How did a Mexican Robocop, French Nutella, and Icelandic Queen have a different fate to a Swedish Metallica, after an argument?
Tom:
(wheezes)
Sabrina:
I'll say it again. How did a—
Tom:
Thank you.
Sabrina:
(laughs)
How did a Mexican Robocop, French Nutella, and Icelandic Queen have a different fate to a Swedish Metallica, after an argument?
Melissa:
Are these video game characters? 'Cause this sounds like in an alternate universe, like Super Mario Bros.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Melissa:
You got an Italian plumber.
Sabrina:
We gotta save French Nutella from Bowser!
Tom:
Or one of those fighting games. You just have Mexican Robocop, this French Nutella... and what was it? An Icelandic Queen and a Swedish Metallica.
That is just a roster for a fighting game, that is.
Sabrina:
(laughs)
Taha:
Yeah. It's the worst version of Tekken.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Taha:
So, Metallica is an entity, RoboCop is a person, Nutella is a food, and a Queen is a position. So, so, hmm.
SFX:
(group cracks up)
Taha:
Doesn't get us anywhere.
Tom:
(laughs) But thank you for trying.
Melissa:
This is not like alternative chess lingo or something. I just, I'm really latching onto the word queen, and that's the only thing.
Taha:
Icelandic Queen.
Sabrina:
It doesn't have anything to do with chess.
Melissa:
Maybe a game, though? A game.
Sabrina:
Not a game, either.
Melissa:
Huh, okay.
Tom:
I just got Mexican Robocop as being one of those low-budget clones of Hollywood movies.
Sabrina:
(giggles) Kickpuncher!
Tom:
And somewhere— yeah. Somewhere there is just a guy in a really bad RoboCop costume who just regrets that he helped out on a movie someday.
Melissa:
(snickers)
Sabrina:
(giggles) Oh no! I will say that this question does refer to four people.
Taha:
Ah, okay. Mexican Robocop. French Nutella is the thing that's really throwing me off.
Tom:
Right, same.
Taha:
French Nutella.
Tom:
(cracks up) Sorry, that just sounds like a name to me, and that's because I'm thinking French Stewart, the actor.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Taha laugh)
Melissa:
What was the other two? French Nutella, Icelandic Queen?
Sabrina:
Correct, Mexican RoboCop, and a Swedish Metallica.
Melissa:
Swedish Metallica. Are these candies?
Tom:
And the Swedish Metallica was the different one, right?
Sabrina:
Yes. Had a different fate after an argument.
Taha:
After an argument, okay. Are these four people in an argument?
Sabrina:
They're not in an argument together.
Taha:
Ah. I say, "ah", as if that clarified anything.
Sabrina:
(snickers)
Melissa:
Is this some food company? Are these food companies?
Sabrina:
They're not food companies. They are people.
Melissa:
They're straight up people.
Tom:
If I hear... the names of languages, this could be languages as well as countries, and I hear argument, I just assume this is some translation thing.
So maybe there was a translation of Robocop into— No, you'd say Spanish, not Mexican. Damn. I was sure about that. And then, nope, that's not right.
Maybe, Nutella, translated to French, had to have some lengthy description added to it because of, you couldn't use Nutella.
Sabrina:
Ah. That isn't quite it.
But you did mention those, the start. Mexican, French, Icelandic, Swedish. Rather than languages or just countries, they could just refer to nationalities.
Tom:
Okay.
Taha:
Does Iceland have a queen?
Melissa:
I don't think...
Taha:
Iceland has a royal family?
Tom:
I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think—
Taha:
I don't think so.
Sabrina:
I will say that it doesn't really matter in this scenario.
Tom:
Okay, what if these are trademarks? There is a Mexican version of RoboCop, and there is a French version of Nutella, and there is an Icelandic version of the band Queen, like a tribute act.
Sabrina:
Mhm?
Taha:
Yeah.
Tom:
And they lost their trademarks, but somehow Sweden kept their knockoff of Metallica. That—
Taha:
Yes.
Tom:
I was really confident about that at the start, and now I'm not liking my odds.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa giggle)
Sabrina:
I think that you guys are on something of the right track by understanding the nationalities component to it, and the fact that there is legal complications to this. But remember, we are talking about people, not trademarks.
Tom:
Oh, yeah, okay.
Melissa:
What?!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
Consider the shock that you feel when I say that we're talking about people, and try and chase that rabbit.
Melissa:
How is Nutella a person? Or is the French part the person?
Sabrina:
That certainly is a question that the French were asking. (wheezes)
Tom:
Oh! In Iceland, there is a limited list of names that it's possible to give to a child.
Because grammatically... the names only work in certain ways. You cannot name a child certain things because it doesn't work in the language.
Did someone Icelandic try to name their child Queen?
Sabrina:
Correct. Keep it going.
Taha:
Okay.
Sabrina:
Let's go!
Tom:
Someone—
Taha:
Someone Mexican...
Sabrina:
Team, we're so close!
Melissa:
Robocop? Who's naming their child Robocop?
Taha:
What's going on in— What's going on in France? That's what I want to know.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa laugh)
Tom:
Someone in France is trying to name their child Nutella, and the French government said no.
Sabrina:
Also correct.
Taha:
But, there is someone named Metallica.
Sabrina:
In...?
Tom:
In Sweden.
Taha:
Out there in the world.
Melissa:
In Sweden?
Taha:
In Sweden.
Sabrina:
Yes! We got there, gang! Metallica, a Swedish child, was allowed to keep their name.
Tom:
Wow!
Sabrina:
And I think that's beautiful.
SFX:
(Melissa and Sabrina giggle)
Taha:
I think— I don't think that's beautiful.
Tom:
What an incredible question!
Melissa:
Hey, wait, can we rewind though? Someone wanted to name their child Robocop? I am judging.
Sabrina:
Okay, so... So, in 2014, officials in Sonora, Mexico banned several names, including Robocop, to avoid bullying in school. In a similar vein, in 2015, a judge in France ruled that parents could not name their baby Nutella, because it would make her the target of derision. The baby was subsequently renamed to ...Ella!
Taha:
Chocolate Spread— Oh.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
And Tom, you were right that Queen is a banned name in Iceland because the Icelandic language does not have a Q, or C, W, or Z.
Tom:
Oh! It's not a grammatical thing. It's just, it's not...
Sabrina:
It doesn't exist?
Tom:
It just doesn't— Okay, sure!
Melissa:
Interesting.
Sabrina:
But yeah, in 2007, local officials in Gothenburg, Sweden reversed a previous ban on the name Metallica, allowing Michael and Karolina Tomaro to commemorate their favorite rock band.
Taha:
Wow, they got a judge to overturn a previous argument about this exact name.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Melissa:
That's a-wild.
Sabrina:
I think it's a beautiful name.
Tom:
Which brings us to the question I asked right at the start of the show.
In a comedy sketch for NBC, why was a pop star's waist connected to a machine?
Sabrina:
So, I'm assuming this is an SNL musical act. And if I'm wrong, everything falls apart.
SFX:
(Sabrina and Melissa laugh)
Tom:
It's not SNL, but it's very much that genre.
Sabrina:
Is it a 30 Rock act?
SFX:
(both laugh)
Tom:
I think it's the studio next door or down the hall, or the storey under in 30 Rock, something like that.
Sabrina:
Okay. They're just attached to a machine. Lower half, torso?
Melissa:
Their waist. Their waist.
Tom:
Their waist.
Sabrina:
Were they being spooned... by Geoff in the Craig Ferguson Late Late Show? This is a deep cut.
Tom:
That, really unfortunately, and I don't know why I know this, is CBS, not NBC.
Sabrina:
Oh no!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
But excellent deep cut.
Sabrina:
Thank you.
Tom:
We all miss that iteration of The Late Show. Compared to the current one, you know.
Melissa:
What would you be measuring?
Taha:
Who said anything about measuring? Maybe it was a big claw, and the person was being spun around.
Melissa:
That is true.
Taha:
I don't know why they would do that.
Tom:
They were trying to investigate a famous but unlikely claim.
Melissa:
A pop star?
Tom:
A pop star.
Sabrina:
A pop star?
Melissa:
(wheezes)
Sabrina:
What are they investigating?
Tom:
You will know this pop star, and you will know the song they're referencing.
Taha:
Is it how long they can hold a note for?
Melissa:
Is it Shakira?
Sabrina:
Oh, is it her hips lying?!
Tom:
Yeah.
Sabrina:
Aaah!
Tom:
So what was the sketch?
Sabrina:
(applauds)
Taha:
Ah, that's funny. It's like a lie detector.
Melissa:
That's so good.
Tom:
Yes. Yes, this is Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show, along with Drew Barrymore, wiring Shakira's hips to a polygraph so they could test if they were lying.
Sabrina:
Ah, beautiful.
Tom:
Absolutely right. Congratulations to all the team from Answer in Progress for running the gauntlet again.
Where can people find you? What are you working on?
We will start with Melissa.
Melissa:
You can find us on youtube.com/answerinprogress.
Tom:
What sort of things can you find there, Taha?
Taha:
You can find videos about fake buildings that we try and explore, or why you can't— why you're always tired, or why candles are so expensive.
Tom:
And what's coming up on your channel, Sabrina?
Sabrina:
We are making videos about foley, about dark mode, about why the recorder took over the school system. It sounds awful!
Taha:
Woo!
SFX:
(group laughing)
Sabrina:
Subscribe!
Taha:
Awful!
Tom:
To be clear, that's the recorder, not the idea.
Sabrina:
(guffaws) Or both! I will be playing it.
Tom:
And if you want to know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com. We are also at @lateralcast basically everywhere, and there are regular video highlights at youtube.com/lateralcast.
Thank you very much to Sabrina Cruz.
Sabrina:
(softly) Whee!
Tom:
Taha Khan.
Taha:
(quacks)
Tom:
(laughs) Melissa Fernandes.
Melissa:
Ehh... (wheezes)
Tom:
I've been Tom Scott. That's been Lateral.
Taha:
Woo! (claps)
Sabrina:
Whee!
Melissa:
Bye-ee!
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