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Episode 99: Anti-stress vending machines
Published 30th August, 2024
Jenny Draper, David Bennett and Annie Rauwerda face questions about pyromaniac phrases, eulogised elements and anonymous athletes.
HOST: Tom Scott. QUESTION PRODUCER: David Bodycombe. EDITED BY: Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin. MUSIC: Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com). ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS: Gareth Edwards, Mark L., Wade Widmann, Sara. FORMAT: Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: David Bodycombe and Tom Scott.
Transcript
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
In Louisiana, why is it possible to read the words "Start Fire" on a building that helps to prevent fire?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
Welcome back to Lateral. Before we start, just to let you know that our website – lateralcast.com – now has a QR code. Here it is:
Black, black, black, white, white, black, white, black, black, black.
Jenny:
(cackles)
Tom:
New line. Black, white, black, white, white, white, white...
Okay, this isn't work— Anyway, here to answer some questions that are far from black and white, first of all, we have:
from the depths of Wikipedia, Annie Rauwerda. How are you doing?
Annie:
Hello, I'm doing— I'm doing pretty well.
Tom:
What is the best thing you found on Wikipedia recently? 'Cause this is your job now.
Annie:
It is. Well, okay. Here's one that's a little bit unusual. It's not just an article.
In the early days of Wikipedia, people used the most recently public domain Encyclopædia Britannica to populate articles. And so I recently found some of the few articles that have barely been changed since 1911. And, so that was kind of fun.
They're actually not particularly interesting, but I learned a little bit about medieval laws in Europe.
Jenny:
Since 1911?! Oh, because it's a public domain encyclopaedia.
Annie:
Yeah, and a lot of the history stuff just doesn't change. Although one thing that's odd:
In the history section of the article, 'Mat', M-A-T, like a mat... there is a notice that says, "This is very similar to the 1911 encyclopedia. Please update it."
And people have really ignored that banner for years.
Jenny:
(laughs) No, it's perfect as it is. Don't touch my child!
Tom:
Well, also joining us today, we have, from the London History Show, J. Draper.
Jenny:
Hello, it's good to be back.
Tom:
Well, thank you for being back on the show.
I'm going to ask kinda the same question. What's the most interesting thing you've found out about London history lately? Because that is also now your job.
Jenny:
It is indeed.
So I've been reading about Lady Mary Wortley Montague lately, who pioneered smallpox inoculations in Britain.
And when she was a child... her father, her parents didn't really care about educating her, because she was an aristocratic lady. But one thing they really wanted to make sure she knew was how to carve meat.
Her dad was— This is a real thing. Her dad was, or maybe her uncle... One of her relatives was the Grand Carver of all England. And his— It was his job
Tom:
Wow!
Jenny:
...to carve the King's meat at the table.
And so they were like, "You must also learn this skill". And so she had a tutor to carve meat. And he brought a little wooden joint that was made out of little wooden building blocks, to teach her how to carve it up correctly.
Tom:
The monarch still must have a Grand Carver.
Jenny:
(giggles)
Tom:
Surely that's still a thing that's in Buckingham Palace somewhere.
Jenny:
That feels like something that Prince Albert would have got rid of, to be honest.
Tom:
Yeah, that's fair.
Jenny:
Along with the Groom of the Stool.
Tom:
Our third player today then. Welcome back to the show, from his own YouTube channel, pianist David Bennett.
David:
Hi, thanks for having me again. It's been great.
Tom:
So... (laughs) I'm gonna ask the same thing. You break down music theory on your channel. What is an interesting thing that you found lately?
David:
Lately... There's a songwriter called Elliot Smith, who... you either love him or you've never heard of him.
But there was a particular chord, the major version of the II chord, which only means anything to music theory nerds. Like the chord D in the key of C. That he uses in the vast majority of his songs.
And it's not usually a particularly common chord. So it's definitely something that gives his songs their sort of flavour.
So, if you're an Elliot Smith fan, that's like, "Oh wow!" And if you've never heard of him, be like, "Don't know what that means."
Tom:
But now you can hear that chord and know it is that songwriter.
Jenny:
(giggles)
David:
Yes. (chuckles)
Annie:
I can't wait.
Tom:
On this show, we usually tumble down a rabbit hole of lateral thinking.
Unfortunately, we have taken a wrong turn somewhere and have got some seriously annoyed ferrets. So, let's see if we can weasel our way past question one.
Annie:
(titters) Oh, wow.
Jenny:
Oh, boo!
David:
(chuckles)
Tom:
I don't write these! I do not write these!
Jenny:
Your scriptwriter, straight under the bus.
Tom:
(laughs uproariously)
David:
(giggles)
Jenny:
You can't see the wheels anymore. They're gone. Wow!
Tom:
I feel bad about throwing the scriptwriter under the bus there. Just, just sorry. That's...
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Tom:
I feel bad.
Thank you to Wade Widman for sending this question in.
One US state has an official 'state element' that is not a metal nor a mineral. Name the state and its chemical element.
I'll say that one more time.
One US state has an official 'state element' that is not a metal nor a mineral. Name the state and its chemical element.
David:
I don't know enough about elements, but... Yeah, some are like metals, some are minerals, but what... What would the other ones be? Like a noble gas or something like that? I don't really know.
Jenny:
Or there's fictional ones, right?
Annie:
First, I was thinking neon because... the signs in Las Vegas.
But then I remembered that Las Vegas is— or excuse me, Nevada, the state of Nevada, is home to the National Security Site where a bunch of nuclear bombs were tested.
So it could also be uranium. But is that a metal or a mineral?
Jenny:
You don't want to be associated with that. Surely that's not going to bring in the tourists.
Annie:
Oh, now that I think about it.
Jenny:
I come to the state of nuclear fission.
Annie:
Thank you for the tour guide... perspective there.
SFX:
(Tom and Jenny laugh)
Jenny:
It's just permanently screwed in.
Annie:
Short, tiny, tiny aside. Did you know that before people realized that radiation was going to— could kill you, they would have watch parties in Vegas for the mushroom clouds.
Tom:
Yeah.
Annie:
It was a fancy thing.
Jenny:
God.
Tom:
There's a lot of stuff before people realised radiation could kill you. I had a physics teacher, when I was in school, who said that he had once found a radium blanket in his attic.
Jenny:
(gasps) Christ, in his attic?
Tom:
Yes. Which was one of those blankets that was infused with radium to give "warmth" and "healing" properties.
Jenny:
Jesus.
Tom:
Yeah, now... the story he told involved him calling someone, and the British nuclear police turning up and confiscating it, and then his phone line being tapped for a year or so. I'm not sure how much of that I believe, but he did at least have the box of a radium blanket to show off.
And if all he did was weave a good story around that, then fine.
Jenny:
Yeah, I was recently guiding some people around the Churchill War Rooms, and they're a bunker that was— It's a bunker that was built in the 1940s for the government during World War II, and all the...
In every room, there's a little bucket that says, "Asbestos sheets in case of fire."
Tom:
Oh, oh fun.
Jenny:
(giggles)
Annie:
Awesome. Perfect, thanks, thanks, perfect. I'm going to use those.
David:
When Annie mentioned the neon... Tom's face did light up a little bit.
Tom:
I've kinda been padding for time here, 'cause you absolutely nailed it. It is Nevada, and it is neon.
David:
Wow.
Tom:
Spot on.
Annie:
I was just— I can't believe it. Wow. It's crazy, 'cause California should totally choose Californium as its state element.
Tom:
Yeah, but...
Annie:
I don't know.
Tom:
I don't know if that would be a metal or not.
So yeah, I was hoping you were gonna go down what's mined there, what's extracted somewhere. I was hoping there was going to be a diversion on Chicago being the Windy City and that being a classical element of air.
No, you just nailed it, Annie. It is Nevada, and it is neon.
Jenny:
(cackles) Go, go, Annie.
Tom:
Yeah, in 2019, the governor rubber stamped Assembly Bill 182, which designates neon as the official state element of the state of Nevada.
Because Las Vegas has its famous neon sig— Well, had its famous neon signs. They're not really there anymore.
Annie:
But at least we have a sphere.
Jenny:
Hah!
Tom:
(laughs) Yes.
David:
I think they've got a walk around, almost open-air museum of old neon signs, a little bit off the Strip.
Tom:
Yes. There is the Neon Museum.
There's also God's Own Junkyard in Walthamstow in London, which is a beautiful museum of old signs.
But these days in Las Vegas, it is LEDs and modern technology and a giant sphere.
SFX:
(David and Jenny snicker)
Annie:
I saw the Sphere, and I actually liked it.
Jenny:
Ooh?
David:
It fits in, in Vegas. I don't think I'd like it on my street.
Jenny:
What was it showing when you saw it?
Annie:
The thing that's crazy is that it changes every minute.
And when I first arrived, and I first saw it on the skyline, it was really breathtaking because they did a— they had it look like the Moon. And I saw the craters of the Moon in more detail than I've ever seen with my own eyes on the actual Moon. It was kind of one of those like, "Oh, wait, maybe... this thing that I used to think was dystopian is cool."
SFX:
(Tom and David laugh)
Tom:
That's how they get you.
Jenny:
That's how they get you, and then bam, adverts for crypto.
Tom:
(laughs)
Annie:
Boom, exactly.
Tom:
And on that note, time for an advert break! No...
SFX:
(guests laughing)
Tom:
David, over to you for the next question.
David:
In 2018, why did a Kuwaiti fish shop have to close after a member of staff used some craft supplies?
I'll read that again.
In 2018, why did a Kuwaiti fish shop have to close after a member of staff used some craft supplies?
Jenny:
Oh god, they didn't... mistake PVA glue for sauce or something, did they? Just sloshing it on there.
Tom:
Oh, god.
David:
(chuckles)
Jenny:
Oh, brilliant. This is— It's got glitter glue in it. Fantastic. Other than... "Oh no, this isn't sriracha!"
David:
(snickers)
Jenny:
"PVA?"
Tom:
There was that Copydex glue, when I was a kid in school, that smelled like bad fish.
Jenny:
Ah!
Tom:
It's a PVA type, I don't know what it actually is, but it's the safe glue you give to kids for craft projects. And it smells awful. It smells like bad fish. So, my thought was—
Jenny:
To stop them eating it.
Tom:
Yeah, my thought was, they're gonna slather it on everywhere, and I'm like, "Oh, the fish is rotten, we have to close."
David:
Glue isn't the craft supply that you're looking for.
Jenny:
Okay.
Tom:
This is the thing, someone writes, "craft supplies" in the question, that, whatever that craft supply is, that's a giveaway.
David:
(snickers)
Jenny:
Hah!
Annie:
I'm just really hung up on why... There are many ways to procrastinate on the job. And sometimes people do it for fine reasons. But crafting, that's... It's one thing to scroll on your phone for five minutes on the toilet or something, but you bring out a whole craft while you're working at a fish shop? I don't know.
Jenny:
Some— I mean, I've done this in customer service jobs before. Some bosses will not stand for you having even a glimpse of your phone on the floor. But if you've got...
I knew a colleague once who made chain mail... while in customer service. I've had— I knew people who did crochet. All sorts, because yeah, apparently that's not as bad as being on your phone.
I don't know what you'd do in terms of... that would get a fishery called though.
In maybe to be cheap, they were not using the food-safe skewers, and they just bought some lollipop sticks from... from Hobbycraft.
SFX:
(group chuckling)
Tom:
Yeah, we don't know if they used the craft supplies as part of the fish sales, or if it was just, you know...
Annie:
I was really imagining just, yeah, just passing the time by doing some papier-mâché.
Tom:
To be fair, if you were walking up to the clerk at a shop, and they were on their phone, you might be a bit like, "Oh, they're distracted, they're not—"
If you walked up, and they were crocheting, I would feel bad for interrupting them, right? I'm not getting in the way of someone's crochet!
Jenny:
Can you just remind me, what happened? Did they recall the fish, did you say? They had to... close down the shop?
David:
They had to close the shop. They were closed by the authorities.
Annie:
Was it a Molotov cocktail?
Jenny:
Ooh.
Tom:
(wheezes)
Jenny:
I have often bought my Molotov cocktail supplies...
Tom:
Yeah, I often go into the hobby shop and buy a milk bottle and a rag and some petrol.
Jenny:
Molotov branded cocktails.
Annie:
Craft night!
Tom:
Is it legal for me to give those instructions as part of a podcast? I'm slightly worried, have I just given instructions for making—
SFX:
(David and Jenny laugh)
Tom:
That feels like a thing that's on Wikipedia somewhere anyway, but...
Jenny:
On page four of the anarchist cookbook.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Annie:
I feel like, yeah, we're all going to have fire alarms that start going off.
Tom:
Yep. Yep.
Jenny:
(cackles)
David:
So think about other craft supplies. It's not glue, like you're talking about. What else would you get at a craft store?
Jenny:
Is it something sharp that, like, he dropped a load of pins in the fat fryer, the deep fat fryer? And they had to—
Tom:
Oh, we don't know if this is fish shop in the British term of meaning, fish and chips shop, or just a fishmonger, just a shop that sells fish.
David:
It's like a fishmonger. It's fresh fish.
Tom:
Fishmonger, okay.
Annie:
Ooh.
Tom:
Beads, it was just from the bead shop. Just enormous quantities of beads. And they got in the fish and had to be recalled. I mean, to be fair, there's enough microplastics in there anyway, but...
David:
(chuckles) So, the item was used in a deceptive way.
Tom:
Oh?
Annie:
They're trying to make the fish look— They're painting the fish to be more colorful. A rainbow fish.
David:
You're going along the right lines.
Tom:
They're making the fish look fresher.
Jenny:
They're putting the button eyes in. Teddy bear eyes.
Tom:
Oh no! Oh no!
David:
Not teddy bear eyes.
Tom:
On the fish. Googly eyes?
Jenny:
Googly eyes?
Tom:
No!
David:
Googly eyes.
Tom:
Googly eye— They googly-eyes'd the fish?!
David:
They put googly eyes on the fish to make them look fresh.
Tom:
Oh!
David:
I don't know— I don't see how they thought that would work.
Jenny:
Who would be fooled by that?
Tom:
And apparently no one was!
David:
No!
Annie:
That sounds quirky and fun to me.
SFX:
(Tom and David crack up)
Annie:
Is it really— Is it really such a health risk? I don't know.
David:
So yeah, apparently, there was a video that went viral of this particular place that had done it.
And then the Kuwaiti Ministry of Commerce managed to find the shop and shut it down.
And then rival fishmongers reacted by advertising that their own fish was sold "without cosmetics".
Jenny:
Hah!
Tom:
(cringe-laughs)
Jenny:
You shouldn't get in trouble for objectively funny crimes.
SFX:
(Tom and David laugh)
Annie:
I have eaten so much plastic on accident in my life, and I just really am not convinced that a little googly eye is that big of a deal for most people.
David:
It feels less deceptive, because surely, it's just an innocent...
Jenny:
You just pull it off, right?
David:
thing, but yeah. If you were painting it or something, that would be more... sort of deceptive, but...
Tom:
But also, at the point where that video has gone viral, someone has to step in. They can't let it get away at that point.
Jenny:
What else are they doing to the fish if they're putting googly eyes on them? I guess, is the thinking.
David:
(chuckles)
Tom:
Next question's from me, folks. Good luck with this.
Keira was feeling apprehensive, so she was surprised – but relieved – to see a machine built for dispensing gobstoppers mounted on a wooden fence. What was it for?
One more time.
Keira was feeling apprehensive, so she was surprised – but relieved – to see a machine built for dispensing gobstoppers mounted on a wooden fence. What was it for?
Jenny:
Okay, so crucially, this machine doesn't actually have gobstoppers in it. 'Cause otherwise, you would say a gobstopper machine. That's what I was gonna say. This is a machine "built for gobstoppers".
Tom:
I feel like the question team have been quite nice here, because it would be entirely valid to say "gobstopper machine" there, but...
Jenny:
It would.
Tom:
Alright. It's machine built for dispensing gobstoppers.
Jenny:
Got it.
Tom:
Also, I feel like someone should give a definition of gobstopper, because there are gonna be some folks listening who've never heard that word.
Jenny:
Yeah, sure. A gobstopper is a big, hard, round sweet, that it takes a really long time for you to suck to make it small. So it stops your gob, which is your mouth.
David:
So, I guess this machine could dispense anything that was around that size, like a golf ball sort of sized thing.
Annie:
Okay, and her emotions are quite interesting. Keira really was going through it. She was so nervous, and then she was like, "Oh, thank goodness, it's a gobstopper." What did she expect? A bomb? I don't know.
SFX:
(Tom and David laugh)
Annie:
Something really— Maybe she expected something very bad to go in her mouth.
Jenny:
Has she forgotten to bring something with her? And she's like, "Oh, thank god, they've— They've got some here. I can just buy one."
Annie:
She had really bad breath.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Jenny:
I mean, like a golf ball, right? Like, "Oh, I've turned up for my first day at golf club, and I forgot to bring my golf ball. I'm never going to get into the sorority at this rate. Oh, thank goodness. They've got the golf ball machine here." Tampons? Is it tampons?
Tom:
(stammers) Actually, it's golf balls. Again, I was kind of padding for time there. David, you said golf balls very early on. I was like, actually, yeah, it's golf balls. So why is Kiera apprehensive, and then surprised but relieved to see a golf ball dispensing machine on this fence?
Jenny:
She's been finding golf balls everywhere, all day.
And she's like, "Where are they coming from? There's— They've been— They've just been all over the floor. Everywhere I've walked, there's been golf balls.
"Oh! It's from this machine. It's the kids on this machine. It's the— It's the sheep that live in this field have been turning the knob on this. That makes sense. I was really worried that some— that the golf ball killer was coming after me."
David:
Is it something to do with, she was walking across an area that she didn't realise was a golf course? And for some reason that— and she kept, I don't know, falling in the golf— the holes.
Jenny:
She was lost.
David:
And then when she saw the machine, she realised, "Oh, okay, this is the golf course."
Tom:
Jenny, David, I would say the opposite of both those answers.
David:
(laughs)
Jenny:
She was found!
Annie:
She was golfing, and she accidentally hit hers into a lake or a pond or something.
Tom:
You're really close there, Annie.
Annie:
Okay... so... okay, she's golfing. She's ran— She runs out of golf courses.
Tom:
She's apprehensive at this point.
David:
What, she hit her ball so far, and she went looking for it, and then lost her way? And now she's found her way back?
Tom:
She's not gonna lose her way. You're thinking there's something that has happened. What's she apprehensive that might happen?
Jenny:
That she's going to run out of golf balls, because she's hit them into a lake.
Tom:
I mean, you don't really run out of golf balls, usually, on a golf course.
Jenny:
Not if there's a gobstopper machine around.
Tom:
That's exactly it, yes. So, I'll fill in. So, I think you've got the various bits of this.
Jenny:
Alright.
Tom:
This is a golf ball dispensing machine at Crater Springs Golf Course in Midway, Utah, that is in a place where you have to make a difficult shot where you might lose your ball.
It's on the out-of-bounds fence. If you have lost it, if you're about to lose it, and it is your last ball, because yes, golfers do take more than one, there is a golf ball machine out there. That if you slice it and put it in the lake or put it out of bounds, three quarters will get you a brand new golf ball.
Annie:
Is Keira a real character?
Tom:
No, that's just a name the question writers put in.
David:
Do we know what this obstacle was, that the ball— that people keep hitting balls into?
Tom:
It's the out-of-bounds fence.
David:
Oh, okay.
Tom:
It's likely to just go out, away, and you're never gonna find it again.
Jenny, over to you for the next one.
Jenny:
This question has been sent in by both Gareth Edwards and Mark L.
The painting An Allegory with Venus and Cupid by Bronzino hangs in London's National Gallery. Why are millions of people familiar with just a small section from the bottom-left corner, even though it has been reversed?
I'll read it again.
The painting An Allegory with Venus and Cupid by Bronzino hangs in London's National Gallery. Why are millions of people familiar with just a small section from the bottom-left corner, even though it has been reversed?
Tom:
I'm sitting out of this one. David, Annie, it's on you.
David:
Is it because the... that segment was used in some— as like album art or something, in some other medium?
Jenny:
You are on the right lines, yes. But not an album.
Annie:
Not an album? My mind went blank of all other forms of art.
Jenny:
(cackles) That's the only place you could possibly see a bit of a painting.
Annie:
Museums and albums. If only we could invent something else. A billboard, a cartoon, TV. An art in TV?
David:
The thing that's coming to my mind, the fact that it's been reversed. I wonder if that's just... It just randomly was reversed for no real reason, or if there's a functionality to that. I don't know, like, "are you a robot" tests on... like CAPTCHA tests where you have to do something only a human could do, and, I don't know, something about the reversed image and matching it to the right reflection?
Jenny:
Don't get too hung up on it being reversed. But Annie, you were right that it is... Yeah, you were right. One of your guesses is on TV.
Annie:
Art on TV?
Tom:
You can maybe get a little bit of a clue by the fact that I know this one, knowing my... knowing a bit about me and... what sort of stuff I might have grown up with...
Annie:
Yeah, I thought you might know it.
Tom:
Yeah, this was always going to be a me question, this one.
Annie:
That hint didn't help me.
Tom:
(cackles)
David:
I was gonna say, if it's British TV, then Annie might not stand a chance.
Tom:
I...
Jenny:
She might not. But she might have seen this.
David:
Yeah, okay. That's not like the test card or something. I don't know why that would be in the National Portrait...
Annie:
We can get the BBC over here, believe it or not.
David:
(giggles)
Annie:
If you know the right people.
Tom:
I mean, I don't have a VPN sponsorship for this particular episode.
David:
We wish you did. (chuckles)
Jenny:
Ha!
Tom:
And just in case...
David:
(laughs)
Tom:
Well, as it turns out, I do actually have a VPN ad in this episode. So let's go to that!
SFX:
(David and Jenny laugh)
David:
So it's a segment of a painting, a larger painting, and it's something to do with TV.
Annie:
Did one of the things in the paint— Did a character in the painting inspire a cartoon character?
Jenny:
No. Do you know the painting? An Allegory of Venus and Cupid ? Bronzino?
Annie:
Unfortunately, I don't.
David:
Maybe if I saw it, but I don't know.
Jenny:
So it's the bottom left corner of the painting.
David:
Is the bottom left visible in some famous TV set? Like, I don't know, in the background of Friends or something? Like you can just see that, or something like that?
Jenny:
Mm, not quite, no.
Tom:
On the assumption that I do have the right thing here, which I'm still not certain about, but...
Jenny:
I think you...
Tom:
I think I've got it.
Jenny:
I mean, I don't know, but...
Tom:
If you've got a painting with two people in it, what might be near the bottom of that painting?
Annie:
Their feet.
Jenny:
Mhm, mhm...!
Annie:
You liked that? That was a pretty easy—
Jenny:
That was an eyebrow raise.
Annie:
Feet, okay. You kinda asked me— That was kind of a preschool question, but I—
Jenny:
Well, I'm sorry, but you hadn't got that so far, so...
David:
It's not like the Monty Python foot that comes down and squishes people?
Jenny:
Yeah!
David:
It is that?
Jenny:
The Monty Python foot!
David:
Oh, wow!
Jenny:
So yeah, in the bottom-left corner of An Allegory of Venus and Cupid , you have one of the characters' feet. Terry Gilliam cut that out – obviously not out of the real painting – and turned it 'round.
David:
(snickers)
Jenny:
And it squashes the title in Monty Python's Flying Circus and in other places in the show as well. Good job.
Annie:
This is a great fact for me to know and to repeat to people.
SFX:
(Tom and David snicker)
Jenny:
It's, I mean, extremely good fact for me. I did not know that's where it came from. Even looking at the painting, I don't really see it, but I think he changed the colour a little bit on it as well.
But yeah, I do that. I guide that painting in my job. So it's gonna be a great fact for me.
Tom:
Thank you to Sara for sending in this question.
During the 2024 London Marathon, supporters shouted out, "Come on, Jay!" and "Go on, Honey!" to two people wearing a T-shirt that had 'Lola' written above a photo. However, all three names were wrong. Why?
One more time.
During the 2024 London Marathon, supporters shouted out, "Come on, Jay!" and "Go on, Honey!" to two people wearing a T-shirt that had 'Lola' written above a photo. However, all three names were wrong. Why?
Jenny:
Lola, there's a Lola Bunny, and you can have a Honey Bun. I don't know what a Jay Bun would be. Who are Honey, Jay, and Lola?
Annie:
Lola Bunny, could be fun.
Jenny:
You can't dress as Lola Bunny though, right? For a marathon? It would be hard to get a costume that people immediately go, "Oh, that's Lola Bunny."
David:
I wonder if 2024 is relevant at all or not. Because that— If you're wearing a bib that said 'London Marathon 2024', whether people would somehow misread something that was on there.
Jenny:
Oh like, you know, on— You can spell words on a calculator, and they just happen to have a number that if you turn it upside down, it says, 'Hello.'
David:
It says Lola, Jay, and Honey.
Jenny:
It'd be 1-0-1-0, right, Lola? They're not actually upside down, right?
Tom:
No, they're not.
Jenny:
So they're not actually upside down. But if you had 1-0-1-0, it would say Lola.
David:
Were they used as some sort of weird phonetical alphabet, like Foxtrot Hotel Juliet, but not using that for some reason? They changed it to Lola, Jay, and Honey?
Tom:
A lot of the runners, if you've never seen the Marathon by the way, a lot of the runners will just wear their names. Because a lot of the crowd, if they see a name coming towards them, will—
It doesn't matter if they don't know the person. They will just cheer the name on, to give them some boost here. But in this case.
Jenny:
Running with a fake name.
Tom:
The T-shirt says 'Lola', and they're calling out 'Jay' and 'Honey'. And by the way, Jenny, when you said, "Who are Lola, Honey, and Jay?" There is a small subset of this audience who are screaming the answer!
Jenny:
(cackles) Honey Boo Boo?
SFX:
(David and Annie guffaw)
Annie:
That would be amazing if she pivoted... from yeah, being kind of southern and eating...
Jenny:
To marathon running.
David:
So did you say it says 'Lola', but then... the thing, the shirt, or the bib says 'Lola'? Is that what you were saying, Tom?
Tom:
Yeah, the shirt has 'Lola', and it has a photo on it.
David:
Okay.
Jenny:
Are Lola, Honey, and Jay... real people? Or are they fictional?
Tom:
Well, now that's a really interesting question. And I think you might have nailed it there.
Jenny:
Okay. Mmm, I don't feel like that helps me.
Annie:
Is it actors that played these characters?
Tom:
Yes, it is. This is a scene for the BBC soap opera EastEnders. And I don't expect anyone to nail exactly the name of the show there. So I'll give you EastEnders. So, what was happening?
Annie:
Well, the actors are real people that are running a marathon for some reason.
Tom:
Yeah.
Annie:
And people see them, and they think of the characters.
Tom:
Oh...!
Annie:
And so they call out the character name because it's so familiar.
Jenny:
No, they're supposed to be calling out the character name. Because they're being filmed.
But the actors aren't running the marathon. This is the characters running the marathon for the soap, right?
David:
Yeah, they're filming a genuine segment for the show.
Tom:
Right. The characters are running the marathon, which means that the actors must run the marathon.
David:
(snickers)
Jenny:
What? No, it doesn't!
Annie:
The whole thing?
Jenny:
It doesn't mean that. They don't need to do that.
Tom:
They can, and they did. Those actors ran the entire London Marathon.
Jenny:
What?
Tom:
In-character... breaking for scenes at various points along the way where other actors were cheering for them.
David:
(laughs)
Jenny:
Did they have to finish in a certain order? For the plot?
Tom:
I think they just had to finish it. They just had to get through.
This is Jamie Borthwick and Emma Barton, who played Jay Brown and Honey Mitchell on EastEnders. So they ran the full, real London Marathon.
They had some additional recreation scenes elsewhere, but there is only one way to fake up shots of a marathon for a TV show, and that is to do the marathon, where the BBC camera crews are already lining the route and picking up on them as they go.
Jenny:
I mean, I guess it's cheaper to do it that way.
David:
So the extras in the background are just normal runners in the Marathon?
Tom:
Yeah, they're just running the Marathon.
David:
Did they know they were going to be in EastEnders?
Tom:
I mean, if you're running the London Marathon, you know you're on camera anyway. There's helicopters over the route. There's cars, there's everything.
Annie:
It would be so bad if you had a— You know how sometimes when you're running, you lose control of, like, you spit a little bit?
Tom:
(laughs)
Annie:
Sometimes you...
Jenny:
You poop in the road.
Annie:
Might poop your pants. Wouldn't it be the worst if not only you did that, but then it was on EastEnders?
Jenny:
Do they do this every time a character from EastEnders needs to do something in the real world? If they're protesting, they have to go to a real protest.
Tom:
(laughs)
Jenny:
If one of the characters eggs a politician, then they have to really egg that politician in real life. If the character goes to jail, it's a real jail!
Annie:
(guffaws)
Jenny:
It's a real courtroom! Deidre went to prison for real!
Tom:
Oh, nice reference.
Jenny:
Sorry.
Tom:
Neither of the other people in this call are going to get the Deidre Rashid reference, but it's appreciated.
Jenny:
Thanks.
David:
So is Lola someone that they're running in memory of, and is it also a character from the show?
Tom:
Yep, spot on. They had a photo of Danielle Harold on their T-shirts, because her character, Lola, had died of a brain tumour, and they were running for her.
Annie, over to you for this one.
Annie:
In 1994, a gang stole a modest amount of money from a bank in Abaí, Paraguay. Dirty looks were exchanged when they were only able to leave with half the money that was in the safe. Why?
In 1994, a gang stole a modest amount of money from a bank in Abaí, Paraguay. Dirty looks were exchanged when they were only able to leave with half of the money that was in the safe. Why?
Jenny:
Okay, so they thought they were gonna get all the money in the safe, and they were only able to get half of it.
Tom:
Someone had not been working out. Someone had just absolutely—
Jenny:
Just physically can't carry that much money.
Tom:
I can carry this much. I can carry two million... I'm gonna guess dollars, because chances are it's a Paraguayan dollar. It's probably not. Gonna take a guess. And, yeah, absolutely I can carry that. And then it turns out, no, hasn't been working out.
Jenny:
This is why we were at the gym, Marty. Where were you?
SFX:
(group laughing)
Tom:
I like that bank robbers in Paraguay also have old-timey mobster accents.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Jenny:
I'm imagining Al Capone turning up.
Annie:
Everyone just sounds like Goodfellas.
SFX:
(Annie and David chuckle)
Annie:
That's incorrect, but it is very fun.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
David:
Were half of the bank notes now sort of out of circulation, but they were still in the safe for some reason?
Annie:
The money was money.
Tom:
Oh, the Paraguayan guarani, or gu-rani, I think. Thank you, Producer David, for that. It's worth about a fraction of a penny.
Jenny:
Was it— Is it a tax thing?
Annie:
A tax thing?
Tom:
I mean, that's how they got Al Capone.
Jenny:
That's how they got Al Capone, right? So, even if you're a bank robber, you still gotta pay your taxes. So they were like, "We're gonna leave half of it here."
SFX:
(David and Annie laugh)
Jenny:
"For the tax man."
Annie:
"And then we're getting gabagool with Carmella."
SFX:
(others laughing)
Annie:
"And she's making her famous ziti and risotto."
SFX:
(guests giggling)
Annie:
"Meadow! Get over here!"
Tom:
Somewhere, someone in South America will be able to translate that to the local equivalent. But that is not our job. That is not a thing we should do right now. That's going to go badly.
Jenny:
Yeah, I've no idea what the Paraguayan version of that would be.
Tom:
Did you say roughly half or exactly half, by the way?
Annie:
I just said the word half.
Tom:
Okay.
Annie:
And I would imagine that it was... exactly half. I think they counted it out.
Jenny:
Oh? If you take more than ten million, then you get the chair. But 999,000— 9—99— 9,999,000... it's only 20 years. Easy time.
Annie:
I also think that's a very creative guess, but no.
David:
You said dirty, what was it? Dirty looks were exchanged or...
Annie:
Dirty looks were exchanged when they, the gang, were only able to leave with half the money that was in the safe.
Tom:
That is very specific phrasing.
Jenny:
Were all the bills literally cut in half?
David:
Who were they exchanging those looks with?
Jenny:
All the bills were literally guillotined. They were cut in half.
SFX:
(group chuckling)
Annie:
That's like that Bible story about the baby.
Jenny:
Yeah. (cackles)
Tom:
Oh, yeah.
Annie:
The two moms want the baby, and then the king is, "No, you have to cut it in half."
Jenny:
The bank manager's like, "I can't decide. I only have— You'll get half of the bill each."
Tom:
It was a Fast and Furious type caper where they were trying to drag the safe out of the building entirely using a souped-up car. And unfortunately, they only took half of it. Just literally chopped down the middle.
Jenny:
Mmm...
Annie:
(stammers) You'll be shocked to find out that it's not...
SFX:
(Annie and David laugh)
Annie:
It was not that. It did not get cut exactly in the middle.
David:
Someone in the gang was some sort of double agent or something, and then once they got in there... they're like, "Give me half the money, and I'll let you take the other half" or something like that.
It was some sort of deal done at the last minute.
Annie:
Okay, this is getting a little bit closer.
Yes, it's— There— It was— They were— They were talking, and they were making decisions with—
Tom:
No.
Annie:
There were people—
Tom:
No, hold on, hold on.
There weren't two simultaneous heists here, were there?
David:
Ohh.
Tom:
There weren't two gangs who both tried to rob the same bank at the same time, and the dirty looks were them just going, "Yeah, well, you've taken half of our heist here."
SFX:
(Jenny and David laugh)
Tom:
Please, please tell me that there were two simultaneous heists here.
Jenny:
That sounds so good. Please let this be true.
Annie:
That is true. That's what happened.
SFX:
(guessers cheer)
Tom:
Actually, we are cheering crime there. So just for—
David:
Yay, crime!
Jenny:
Woo, crime!
Tom:
Just for balance... don't do crime.
Jenny:
Laws, yeah.
Annie:
More information for you:
The bandits were successfully carrying out their planned operation when the bank was raided by a second gang of robbers. The two gangs agreed to split the money equally between them.
According to a police spokesman, the gangs, "gave each other dirty looks" as they scampered out the door.
David:
(snickers)
Jenny:
There's gotta be a film about that, like... like a farce.
Tom:
Yeah.
Jenny:
Comedy about... like the one about the elderly bank.
David:
It could keep going as well, then there's another gang, and then they have to halve it again.
Tom:
Yeah.
Annie:
Yeah. "Tony, you're here too!"
SFX:
(guests giggling)
Jenny:
"You told me you were sick."
Tom:
There's just a traffic jam of getaway cars on the way out.
Jenny:
Like that Airplane! joke where it pans across, and you see a whole line of people queuing, waiting to...
Tom:
Oh yeah.
SFX:
(group chuckling)
Jenny:
Waiting to rob the place.
Annie:
But once again... because Tom's concerned that viewers will be hatching plans to rob banks together, don't do it.
Tom:
Last order of business then. At the start of the show, I asked:
In Louisiana, why is it possible to read the words 'Start Fire' on a building that helps to prevent fire?
Does anyone want to take a quick pot shot of that before I give the answer to the audience?
Jenny:
Did it used to say something like "Don't start a fire"?
But the "Don't" and the "a" got covered up by a billboard or a door closing or something. So now it just says "Start Fire".
Tom:
It's an old advert for a Billy Joel single, and half of it's been ripped down.
Jenny:
Mhm, like a MAD magazine fold-in.
Tom:
Yeah, yeah.
David:
Maybe the word 'fire' refers to firing a gun rather than a fire-fire. And it's like you would... I don't know what you'd shoot. Shoot a bell to get the fire brigade's attention or something.
Annie:
I feel like, yeah, buttons on the fire hose.
Tom:
It's not the word 'fire' that's weird here.
Jenny:
Start?
Tom:
Mhm.
Jenny:
Oh, it's like the place it's in is called Start Fire Station because it's in the village of Start?
Tom:
Yes, this is in the... technically it's a census-designated place in northeast Louisiana.
It's called Start. It's home to about 1,000 people.
And the fire department there just has a big old building with 'Start' on one door and 'Fire' on the other.
SFX:
(Jenny and David giggle)
Annie:
Guys, I've posted this. I have posted a picture of that building, I realize.
Tom:
(laughs uproariously)
Jenny:
Oh, Annie!
Tom:
Well, first of all, Annie, where can people find pictures like that?
Annie:
You can just search Depths of Wikipedia on Mastodon, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram. Lots of cool stuff, and maybe you'll forget it like I do.
Tom:
David, where can people find you? What's going on in your life?
David:
You can find me on YouTube at David Bennett Piano, where I talk about music and music theory.
Tom:
And Jenny, where can people find you to be a tour guide for them?
Jenny:
You can find me at @JDraperLondon on YouTube and TikTok, and I talk about London history.
Tom:
And if you wanna know more about this show or send in your own idea for a question, you can do that at lateralcast.com. We are at @lateralcast basically everywhere, and there are regular video highlights at youtube.com/lateralcast.
Thank you very much to J. Draper.
Jenny:
Thank you very much for having me.
Tom:
David Bennett.
David:
Thanks very much.
Tom:
Annie Rauwerda.
Annie:
Thank you.
Tom:
I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.
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