Get the RSS feed or search “Lateral” on your podcast app
Episode 196: A tiny umbrella
10th July, 2026 • Davina Bentley, Ólafur Waage and Stuart Laws face questions about flatulent felines, careful cetaceans and gnarly gnats.
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
In 2023, why did the phrase "Cat, I have farted" suddenly gain popularity in France?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
Hello, and welcome to Lateral. Incidentally, not many people realise that 'LATERAL' is actually an acronym.
We've seen speculation online that it stands for "Learning About Tricky Enigmas, Riddles, and Logic".
Others think it means "Loosely Associated Theses Examined Repeatedly and Loudly".
However, I can reveal that the official answer is that it represents the phrase "Largely Accidental Theories Ending Randomly As Luck".
Let's meet today's group of unusual experts in speculative thinking. Or, our guests.
First up on our comedian special today, returning to the show for, honestly, I've lost count of how many times: Ólafur Waage, welcome back.
Ólafur:
Hi. Thank you for having me.
Tom:
How is stand-up comedy going for you? Because... I don't want to say that the Nordics have a reputation for being strait-laced and perhaps not outwardly laughing much. How's it going for you with a Norwegian audience and a world audience?
Ólafur:
I think it's the case that when— once you get them, once they're on your side, it's a huge win. Because, yeah, it is a very tough audience, but... yeah, it feels very sweet once you've got them on your side.
Tom:
And you are doing English stand-up in Oslo now?
Ólafur:
Yeah. Yeah. It should be— When this comes out, we are, I think, on a hiatus now, so— but it should pick up back up in the fall.
Tom:
And is there anything else you're getting up to at the moment? I'm assuming you are still posting videos about the Nordics.
Ólafur:
Yeah, I'm trying. I'm reducing it a little bit, because I'm focusing on the stand-up, but... again, once we get on the pause in the summer, it should pick up back up.
Tom:
Alright. Well, good luck to you on the show today.
And thank you also for the questions you've sent in for other shows while you've been away. It's a delight to have a question writer who's also—
Ólafur:
Too many. Too many.
Tom:
Thank you so much. Well, best of luck today.
You are joined by some players who between them have a couple of episodes under their belts.
Davina Bentley, we'll go to you first of all. Welcome back to the show.
Davina:
Thank you for having me back.
Tom:
How did you find your first Lateral episode?
Davina:
I— It was so m— It was— I thought it was gonna be so hard, and I wouldn't know anything, and I was so worried. And I didn't know anything, but it was really fun.
Tom:
(cackles) That's how the show works usually.
We are, I think, getting very close to the Edinburgh Fringe as this episode comes out, so plug the show. Just give us time, date, what you're doing.
Davina:
Please come to the Pleasance every day except for the two days I'm not doing it. It's at 5:30 at the Pleasance in the Cellar, called Dancing While Old. And before that, there are lots of shows in London. So you have to come.
Tom:
Alright. Well, very best of luck on the show today.
Our last member of the panel: welcome back again, Stuart Laws.
Stuart:
Yes, I'm back. and there's nothing you can do about it.
Tom:
And enthusiastic! Good heavens!
Stuart:
I'm here. You can't get rid of me.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Ólafur:
(shakes head)
Tom:
I mean, technically we can, and Producer David could hit the button, but we're not gonna be that rude.
Stuart:
He hasn't got the guts. He hasn't got the guts!
SFX:
(group laughs heartily)
Tom:
How was your last episode, Stuart?
Stuart:
Awful.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
I felt cheated. I thought that you were all so mean by saying stuff that I didn't know. You used the word 'proverbially'.
Tom:
I did. I did use the word 'proverbially'.
Stuart:
I've tried practicing it for the past few weeks. I still can't get it right.
Tom:
(laughs) Oh, I appreciate you keeping up the pretense that this is not magically filmed on the same day as the previous one. Thank you. Thank you for that.
Stuart:
I look completely different. I look completely different.
Tom:
(laughs) Do you wanna plug the show as well?
Stuart:
Yeah. You listen to... and watch on YouTube, Lateral with Tom Scott.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Stuart:
It's a fantastic show featuring incredible guests, where ask questions that will... if you said them at a party, people would be like, "Shut up! Don't ask stuff like that. We're trying to have fun."
Tom:
Alright.
Stuart:
But here, it's a lot of fun.
Tom:
I'm in trouble today, aren't I? Good luck to all three of you.
And to spell it out, let's begin with quirky unsolved enigma sparking theories, ideas, or nonsense – one.
Thank you to Laurie Griffiths for this question.
On a pretty, cobbled street in Nottingham, England, the word 'GOAL' was once carved into the right-hand side of a stone arch. Why?
I'll say that again.
On a pretty, cobbled street in Nottingham, England, the word 'GOAL' was once carved into the right-hand side of a stone arch. Why?
Davina:
Maybe it was the first time, you know, like... football used to be called 'campball', and it was played across... really, like, metres— you know, not metres, it was played across like a mile, and hundreds of people would play. So they had to outlaw it.
Stuart:
Is that true?
Davina:
Yeah, I read it. I didn't read it, I heard it in my Audible book for dyslexics.
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
But that's what it said in the Ian Mortimer book. So maybe, where it says 'GOAL' is where they used to play football in that street. Maybe it was like the first Nottingham Forest. Sorry, I'm just—
Tom:
There's still a couple of ball games going like that once a year.
Stuart:
Really?
Tom:
There's a couple of English villages. And depending on who you ask, it is either this beautiful ancient tradition, where hundreds of mostly men from the village and surrounding villages all kind of pool in, and the goal is get the ball to your side.
Or, depending on who you ask, and the village, it is an excuse for a big fight. It's somewhere between those two.
Stuart:
What is a male-dominated sport if not an excuse for a big fight? Whether that be verbally shouting at, you know, people that you've never met before—
Tom:
I don't know. I've been told that's true about ice hockey, but then also I've been told about Heated Rivalry, so...
Stuart:
Ah, yes, finally.
Ólafur:
I saw one of these where they would throw a... what was it, a ball out of a window, and whoever's holding onto the ball after two hours, and yeah, that's a big fight as well.
Tom:
That is the Atherstone Ball Game. Yes. Utterly unrelated to this, unfortunately.
Davina:
Okay, so nothing to do with a big— Nothing to do with campball or field ball.
Tom:
No.
Davina:
I was gonna say something really stupid as a semi-joke, but hoping there was a bit of truth in it. I was just gonna fish. I was gonna be like, did a goalkeeper – or just, no, a striker or some kind of person – did they hit their head on an— on the arch? And they we're like, "Oh!"
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
"lol, that's so funny." Stuart Pearce or something.
Stuart:
Well, I was gonna say, is it something to do with Stuart Pearce, who famously missed a penalty in 1990 against West Germany, that potentially that someone's written that there as a thing of, "This is where you should've been aiming"?
Davina:
Like, stupid Stuart Pearce. Every time he walks past, he feels like an idiot?
Stuart:
Yeah, it's like, where he grew up or something like that, and it's—
Davina:
No, he managed Nottingham Forest, right? Didn't he, for a period?
Stuart:
He played for them in the early '90s. And, but I don't know if he managed them.
Tom:
I'm pretty sure he got a redemption at some point there. I would hate for the only reference to my entire long career in something to be, "This is the time I messed up, and that's all that anyone remembers me for." Gareth Southgate.
Stuart:
Yeah, sure. But everyone remembers, and keeps on bringing up to me that time I appeared on Lateral and had a go at the format.
Tom:
(belly laughs)
Stuart:
That's all people bring up.
Davina:
Yeah.
Stuart:
(chuckles) No. Stuart Pearce did have his redemption in the penalty shootout against Spain in Euro '96, and then against West— against Germany then, in the final. Except obviously then, Gareth Southgate...
Tom:
Yeah.
Davina:
Hit the post.
Stuart:
...had his moment, which then, he had his redemption arc.
Tom:
And the curse passed onwards!
Stuart:
(laughs) Exactly.
Ólafur:
I'm just sitting here nodding. Mhm, yep, those are all terms.
Tom:
Okay, so, the thing is you're not... You are both (laughs) a very long way away and also very close at the same time.
Ólafur:
Is it an acronym?
Tom:
Mmh!
Ólafur:
Yeah. Like googling 'Android' or 'Lateral'.
Tom:
(laughs) It's not an acronym.
Davina:
Goals only allowed lads. No. Okay, so it's not an acronym.
Tom:
You're all starting to circle the right area now.
Davina:
Is it— So it is Stuart Pearce, Nottingham Forest.
Tom:
(laughs) No, this—
Davina:
Oh, wait, that's not the bit. The laugh told me it was— that it's not that bit.
Stuart:
It's not that bit.
Tom:
This is a building that was built in 1772. This is definitely pre Stuart Pearce.
Stuart:
Hmm. Okay, well, if you adhere to the— some of the mainstream media's views on Stuart Pearce.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Stuart:
But I happen to believe he's an immortal.
Davina:
He's medi— He's from the medieval period, so he'd be there, yeah. We don't know he's immortal, but he's definitely... Been around for a while.
Stuart:
6–7 hundred years old.
Davina:
Yeah, he's old.
Ólafur:
Isn't that like with Keanu Reeves? People found like old paintings of like dukes and whatever, they look like Keanu Reeves? And yeah, Keanu Reeves is immortal now. Yes.
Stuart:
Yeah.
Davina:
Because there's a type of hot that Keanu Reeves is, that is immortal.
Tom:
(laughs)
Ólafur:
I agree, I agree.
Davina:
That sort of beauty.
Tom:
You are doing a show about aging. That's...
Davina:
Right.
Tom:
Yep.
Davina:
That's where my head's on it.
Tom:
A cobbled street does not seem like the right place for sport, you know? This— But—
Stuart:
Uh-huh.
Tom:
It's very much the wrong place for sport, and that is important.
Stuart:
No. I was gonna say... something to do with golf, but now it's not. That... they had to chip it into that particular brick.
Davina:
Oh, like it was a former— like 'Wino Forever' being 'Winona Forever', kind of. Like it was amended...
Tom:
Ah, yes.
Davina:
From 'G-O'.
Tom:
It was amended.
Davina:
It was amended. Oh, so that was Stu— I just, again, said what Stuart said but louder.
Tom:
(laughs)
Ólafur:
(snickers)
Davina:
That's my— That's kind of a thing I like to do.
Tom:
You are right that this has been amended. The word 'GOAL' was once carved into the right-hand side of the stone arch.
Stuart:
Oh, it was white once.
Davina:
Oh, but there's nothing there now? It's not that it was—
Tom:
Oh, there's definitely something there now. Right now it's the National Justice Museum.
Davina:
Sorry, but does 'GOAL' still stand...
Tom:
Mmh!
Davina:
Does— Is goal still—
Tom:
Not, not really, no. No.
Stuart:
Is it supposed to be— Is it like a girls and boys toilet? But they've just spelt it like that 'goals' and 'boys'?
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
Is that it?
Tom:
Spelling is right, and amendment is right.
Ólafur:
Oh, is it a jail?
Tom:
Keep going, Ólafur.
Ólafur:
'Cause—
Stuart:
Is it a jail?
Ólafur:
An old way of saying 'jail' in like Roman times, is like, you write it as 'gaol', right?
Tom:
You write as G-A-O-L, yes.
Ólafur:
Yeah. Yeah. So is this like an old prison, or old—
Tom:
Yeah.
Ólafur:
A place where a prison was, and this was the entrance into the prison?
Tom:
This was a police station, courtroom, and jail. So why was 'GOAL' once carved into that arch?
Stuart:
'Cause it was someone's aspiration to work there.
SFX:
(others laughing)
Davina:
'Cause people who go to jail are bad at spelling. I'm sorry, I said it.
Tom:
I mean...
Stuart:
Wow.
Tom:
Not the people who go to jail.
Stuart:
Hang on. They— The designers, the town designers, the building desi— the architect.
Tom:
The word you— There's one word you're looking for, and it's the guy with the chisel.
Davina:
Oh, the chisel guy. Chisel Gary.
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
Chisel Gary.
Ólafur:
Mr. Chisel.
Tom:
I'll give you that.
Ólafur:
Go on, Mr. Chisel.
Tom:
The technical term–
Davina:
The stone mason! The stone mason.
Tom:
The stone mason! There we go.
Davina:
The stone mason was a bloody idiot.
Tom:
(cackles breathily)
Davina:
Is that right?
Tom:
Yeah, that's basically it.
We don't know who the stone mason is, but we know that sometime in the 18th century, someone carved 'COUNTY GOAL' over the arch of the county jail.
Stuart:
Well, they'll throw you in jail for spelling it 'goal' these days.
Tom:
And it was corrected, and if you look at the arch that's there now, you can still see the remnants of an O and an A underneath the A and the O at the National Justice Museum.
Ólafur, we will go to you for your question, please.
Ólafur:
Alright.
This question has been sent in by Kelly. Thank you very much, Kelly.
Keith is prescribed a one-inch long transparent capsule containing 24 tiny plastic rings. What is this for, and what is special about the rings?
I'll say that again.
Keith is prescribed a one-inch long transparent capsule containing 24 plastic rings. What is this for, and what is special about the rings?
Stuart:
Is it for Sonic?
Tom:
(cackles)
Davina:
(chuckles)
Tom:
He's just hit a spike, lost all his rings.
Stuart:
(giggles softly)
Ólafur:
You've got to contain them.
Davina:
But then you can still catch them as you're... going back into them.
Tom:
Also, unfortunately, the doctor was Dr. Robotnik, and this is all going to end very badly for him. I made a video game joke! That doesn't happen often.
Davina:
You did.
Ólafur:
That is a counter that only goes up to one.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
(chuckles)
Davina:
Did— It sounds like a medicine box, right? It sounds like a little box of, you know, all the pills, like old people have them. It's like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. But this is 24, and it's transparent, so you can see them.
Tom:
It's only one inch though.
Davina:
It's so small, so those rings must be tiny hoops.
Tom:
Friend of mine got prescribed a camera. Like, you can get a pill camera that contains a little tiny light and a battery and a transmitter, and you have to wear the receiver 'round your neck for 24 hours. but it just, like, you swallow it, and the instruction is, "Do not recover it afterwards."
Stuart:
(shudders)
Ólafur:
I wonder how the Wi-Fi signal is in there.
Tom:
(chuckles) Well, the thing—
Ólafur:
Probably not very good.
Tom:
She had to wear a full receiver box on the front. And any time she moved or it moved, it would send a signal, but if everything was static, it wouldn't, to save battery. Fascinating bit of technology.
And yes, of course she recovered it afterwards and sent what she called the "cursed selfie" to the group chat, which was just...
Ólafur:
(snickers)
Stuart:
Well, apparently, something shot on that camera is up for Best Foreign Object Picture at the Oscars.
Tom:
Eyyy!
Stuart:
Okay, that's good stuff, actually.
Ólafur:
That's a good one.
Stuart:
Thank you. Cheers, everyone. Appreciate that.
Tom:
I can't think what 24 rings would be though. Unless that's the number of sphincters it goes through on the way. (cracks up)
Stuart:
(giggles) I guess there must be multiple sphincters in the body, right? There's a lot of internal sphincters.
Davina:
Oh, in your heart. I guess people— Wait, would you call that a sphincter? It's more like a valve.
Tom:
Mm.
Stuart:
Mm. But what is a sphincter if not a valve?
Ólafur:
There are many. There are many internal sphincters, yeah.
Davina:
You said it with such... The intonation was such that I would believe you if you said there are two million sphincters in the human body.
Ólafur:
Oh, I'm sorry, no. There aren't many. (chuckles)
Davina:
There are many. There's lit— There's many.
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Davina:
Many sphincters.
Ólafur:
The amount of the ring— The exact 24, doesn't matter. You need quite a bit, but...
Tom:
Okay.
Stuart:
So it's something to go in the body.
Ólafur:
Yes.
Stuart:
Is it? Yes. And then the rings are there for... cholesterol purposes.
Davina:
Are the rings like stents? Maybe the transparent box dissolves away, and then... Are they, you know, stenting open your— a heart valve? Or I suppose it would be in your... in your oesophagus?
Tom:
Yeah, that's the thing. I was assuming they were swallowing this, in which case...
Ólafur:
Mhm.
Davina:
Are they?
Tom:
Nothing's gonna go into the rest of the body.
Davina:
Right.
Tom:
There's barriers there. You're not gonna get a one-inch ring through... (snickers) Look. There's a joke about rings that we're all not gonna make here, okay?
Davina:
Are you talking about the rectum? Are you talking about the anal ring?
Tom:
(laughs) Yeah.
Davina:
Because it will go that way, 'cause it's going through your digestive system.
Tom:
Yeah, I mean, I wasn't—
Davina:
So—
Tom:
I was hoping to spell it out through metaphor and allusion.
Davina:
Right.
Tom:
But sure, we'll just, yeah.
Ólafur:
I'll say that the capsule is one that's long, but the rings are tiny. They're kind of tiny.
Davina:
The capsule— Oh, so this— the cap— Oh, sorry, capsule, I was imagining... So it's literally like a pill, a see-through pill. What do you need the little rings for? They're so little.
Stuart:
Goes in that way.
Ólafur:
Yep.
Stuart:
And then it sort of— The rings get through the stomach?
Ólafur:
Alright.
Davina:
Hydrochloric acid? No, surely they're gonna—
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Davina:
They do?
Tom:
Yeah, yes. A stomach won't dissolve plastic or anything like that.
Davina:
Are these rings plastic?
Tom:
I don't know.
Davina:
Oh, they're plastic. They are plastic rings, yeah.
Tom:
I'm assuming they are.
Davina:
Yeah, 24 plastic rings.
Ólafur:
Mhm.
Davina:
They're going, let's say they go in your stomach.
Tom:
Yeah, but plastic is mostly going to pass through. Plastic doesn't show up that well on X-rays.
Stuart:
Is it to plug holes in the large intestine?
Ólafur:
Of those that have been going through... Tom, keep going. Keep having fun with this one.
Tom:
Was I wrong about X-rays? Maybe they do show up.
Ólafur:
Mm?
Davina:
It's on an X-ray. It's on an MRI.
Stuart:
Are they got little trackers? They've got like— They're like— What's that thing that they're— the dyes or something like that, that you can track?
Ólafur:
Keep going.
Davina:
Oh.
Ólafur:
Keep going.
Stuart:
(breathes rapidly)
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
Oh, so they— Oh, that's it. Isn't that it? Stuart got it? It's the dye, and then you take an X-ray, you see the dye, you see when it went, you see where the hole is. You look at the dye, and you see the route.
Ólafur:
Yeah. So why would you— What would be an idea of doing this?
Tom:
Yeah, 'cause you could just drink the dye. People drink stuff to show— You don't need the capsule and the rings and everything to go through that rigmarole. You just— You drink the dye stuff.
Ólafur:
But what would be the difference between the liquid and the physical object?
Davina:
Time release of the... The time they take to...
Ólafur:
Does it not keep going?
Davina:
Well, if they're 24, maybe they're different thicknesses, each of the plastic hoops, so it's different timing. How long does absorption take? How long does dilution take?
Ólafur:
You're dancing... If I want to go into specifics, you're kind of dancing around... what's going on here. You're v— You're pixels away. You're pixels away.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
All I can think about is that then obviously they will make it all the way through the body at some point.
Ólafur:
Mhm.
Stuart:
And now I'm terrified of this image of going to the bathroom, and then someone hammering on the door, and you're like, "What's that?" And then they knock the door down, and it's Sonic desperately going into the toilet.
Tom:
(laughs uproariously)
Davina:
To get the rings?
Tom:
Yeah.
Stuart:
"Get away from me!"
Davina:
To get his 24 rings?
Stuart:
Yeah.
Tom:
Every time you go to the bathroom, there's just this "Brrrring!" sound.
Stuart:
(laughs) "Oh, no, he's here. He's here."
Davina:
That's horrible.
Stuart:
Yeah, a little angry little hedgehog go— coming at you.
Davina:
But also he can't get the rings, 'cause haven't they...
Ólafur:
So they're not gonna dissolve, but you already said that they all go out at once. Will they?
Davina:
No, they'll go at different times, because they're different thicknesses.
Stuart:
Think of Sonic bashing at your door for days.
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
He'll not...!
Stuart:
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself smashing down the toilet cubicles.
Davina:
Is that D-Y-E a hero?
Stuart:
Yeah, yeah. (laughs)
Tom:
So... okay. They... Nice. They... You take the pill, it dissolves in your stomach, the 24 rings are released...
Ólafur:
Mhm.
Tom:
and travel at different speeds through your body.
Ólafur:
Yep.
Davina:
So you're seeing absorption.
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Davina:
You're— Because they're travelling at different speeds, you can see different absorption rates. So say you wanna see how... someone's breaking something down, how the enzymes in their stomach are working.
Ólafur:
There we go. There we go. Yes.
Davina:
That was—
Ólafur:
You're just— You're basically tracking how things will travel throughout the body.
Tom:
Huh.
Ólafur:
Yeah. But what's special about the rings? What— 'Cause yeah, it's—
Davina:
'Cause—
Ólafur:
I say plastic rings, but—
Davina:
Yeah.
Ólafur:
Tom is right, that's not gonna work.
Davina:
Ladies are obsessed with rings. They're obsessed with locking it down.
Ólafur:
Mhm.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Davina:
It's like, if you can't get that kind of ring.
Tom:
Are they all different sizes? Do they all...
Ólafur:
What if I say, they're not necessarily perfectly plastic?
Davina:
They're not perfectly plastic?
Ólafur:
They're called markers, these rings.
Davina:
I can't— I mean, this is so— This was in my degree. I just can't— It was such a long time ago.
Stuart:
What's your degree?
Davina:
Neuroscience.
Stuart:
(exhales stiffly)
Ólafur:
There is a fancy word that Tom might have danced around a little bit.
Davina:
Is it 'proverbial'?
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
(snickers)
Tom:
Do you just get an X-ray after a while, and you're like, you have this... But why rings?
Davina:
You'd have green. You literally would see like a green...
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Davina:
To see the— where something's moved. There would be green lines on those, whatever, say, the veins or the arteries or whatever.
Ólafur:
Yeah, you basically have it. They're called radiopaque. I wouldn't expect you to find the actual name of it. Yeah.
So... They're a test to show how one's colon is functioning, and they show up on X-rays. In a colon transit study, a patient swallows a capsule containing multiple small rings. The rings are radiopaque. They block X-rays, and therefore, appear clearly on the image.
Stuart:
Has anyone ever done a timelapse X-ray?
Ólafur:
Probably you wouldn't want that, I think.
Stuart:
No, you wouldn't.
Ólafur:
No.
Stuart:
But, you know, it might be a good way to go out.
Tom:
Sort of, because in the very early days of X-rays when they didn't understand how dangerous they were...
Davina:
Yeah.
Tom:
The way that... I think it was like a shoe sizing machine that was just a constantly-on X-ray.
Stuart:
Oh...
Tom:
And you just put your foot in it, and there are the bones. Yeah, waggle your toes about. There you go. Good luck. Yeah. That was a thing for a little while. Fluoroscope, I think it was called.
Stuart:
I put my foot in it.
Tom:
Eyyy!
Davina:
I had an X-ray this week, first one for many years. And the girl, it was very funny. She was obviously, like, a trainee, but didn't get that I was a real patient, and she was about to take a picture of the wrong arm. And it was quite hard to be very— It made me think of when people, you know, amputate the wrong leg.
And she was about to take— she was moving me, and I was like, "It's the other arm."
She was like, "Okay, noted. Thank you."
SFX:
(Tom and Stuart laugh)
Davina:
It was very Gen Z. It was—
Have you seen the sketches of people who work at Joe & The Juice? It was like that, but for the X-ray. And she kept being like, "God, it's really heavy."
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
And it was like, maybe I might not be the person to complain to. I'm in a lot of pain. That was actually quite an old lady complaint, but...
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Davina:
X-rays, fun, radiation.
Tom:
Thank you to Martijn Pennings for this next question.
In 2020, a metro train near Rotterdam ran through the end of elevated tracks about 10 meters (30 feet) above water. The driver survived because of a whale. How?
I'll say that again.
In 2020, a metro train near Rotterdam ran through the end of elevated tracks about 10 metres above water. The driver survived because of a whale. How?
Stuart:
I know this, so I can't say anything.
Tom:
Alright. Ólafur, Davina, it's on you.
Ólafur:
Well, it's obviously the Rotterdam version of Speed , right? How Speed ended.
SFX:
(group giggling)
Ólafur:
But in their version they, they have a whale instead of whatever they had in Speed .
Davina:
Sandra Bullock. No, she's gorgeous.
Tom:
(laughs)
Ólafur:
No, that's— No.
Davina:
Gene Hackman was the whale? I don't—
Tom:
How did Speed end? I can't remember.
Davina:
It just becomes Speed 2, and it's a cruise ship.
Tom:
(laughs) Does the bus actually blow up?
Ólafur:
The bus blows up, yeah. It lands on a transport airplane, and they... and she gets taken hostage, and they're on a train. That's why it ends there.
Tom:
Right. Right.
Stuart:
Yeah, it's three transports, isn't it? 'Cause it starts on an elevator, goes to a bus, and then ends on a train. That's not a clue.
Davina:
That's just Speed knowledge.
Tom:
Yep. Yeah.
Stuart:
I just know about Speed, alright? And then Sonic turns up, and he's like, "Give me your rings! Give me your rings!"
Davina:
Okay, so it's a metro, it's in Rotterdam, and it's got an elevated track, was it? These tracks are elevated?
Tom:
Yeah, 10 metres up. Yeah.
Davina:
10 metres off the ground.
Tom:
Yeah.
Davina:
But it shouldn't be going on that bit of track.
Tom:
Oh, it should.
Davina:
Have I understood right?
Tom:
It ran through the end of the tracks.
Davina:
The end of the track. You just keep going.
Tom:
Mhm.
Ólafur:
Oh, suspended above, so, like... Speed might not be that far off, but it wasn't constructed, and they went off the constructed end and landed on... I don't know, a bit of pylon that was on the other side?
Tom:
(laughs)
Ólafur:
It did a little jump? Again, Speed ?
Tom:
Well, if you mean the realistic version of that bus jump from Speed, where the bus gets about three feet out and then immediately plunges down to the ground, that's more what would've happened here. Yeah. This is— This is a— This is the end of elevated tracks at 10 metres in the air.
Davina:
I mean, I assume there's some kind of water involved, because there's a whale that seems to save the day. So, let's say it's the end of tracks that are elevated. That makes me think above ground level or above the road.
Tom:
Yeah, it's up on a viaduct.
Davina:
Oh, it's up on a viaduct. A viaduct is one of— Is it that one? (gestures humps) Is that a viaduct?
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
No, genuinely, I always get really confused.
Tom:
Oh, yeah.
Davina:
Is that a viaduct?
Tom:
A viaduct is anything that carries the track above ground level.
Ólafur:
Is it just a statue of a whale? That's what's going on?
Davina:
Ahhh.
Tom:
Keep going, Ólafur.
Davina:
(gasps)
Ólafur:
Oh? I don't know where I'm going.
Tom:
(laughs)
Ólafur:
I'm assuming... I'm assuming with a whale, is it— Did it go off the rails? And landed on the whales?
Tom:
Yeah. It went off the rails and landed on the whales. You are spot on.
Ólafur:
Alright!
Tom:
Yes.
Ólafur:
Again, I can fly blindly.
Davina:
(applauds)
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
That's beautiful poetry.
Ólafur:
Thank you.
Davina:
Ah.
Tom:
Stuart, you said you vaguely remembered this?
Stuart:
I think I saw it on Instagram.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
Yeah, it was the— It's half off, isn't it, by the end?
Tom:
Yeah. This is De Akkers station in Spijkenisse, in Rotterdam. It is the end of the line and the end of the elevated line. And the train overshot the end, broke through the stop barrier. There is a body of water below about 10 metres down. The driver, the only one on board, by the way. There was enough speed that you— that you're right. The train came off the viaduct and then came to rest on one of two large whale tail sculptures positioned beneath the viaduct, and the artwork is called "Saved by the Whale's Tail".
Davina:
That's amazing.
Tom:
Davina, we will head to you next, please.
Davina:
This question has been sent in by Victor Davina.
Carlos does 'gig economy' work in Manila. Why does he need a tiny umbrella to do his job from June to September?
I'll just read that again.
Carlos does 'gig economy' work in Manila. Why does he need a tiny umbrella to do his job from June to September?
Ólafur:
Am I right to know, when is monsoon season around this, in this area?
Tom:
Ooh.
Ólafur:
Or is that— Does that fit with that?
Tom:
Manila is... Why am I blanking on where Manila is? I should know that.
Stuart:
The Philippines.
Tom:
The Philippines? Okay.
Ólafur:
Mhm, yeah.
Stuart:
But, and so like there is that sort of territory I think is monsoon season.
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Stuart:
Right?
Ólafur:
So you would imagine, you're doing gig work, you're doing food delivery, grocery deliveries, those sorts of things. But then you'd be in a car or a scooter or some sort of thing with a roof.
Stuart:
Then, okay, so my— Why is it a tiny umbrella? So then my thought is that the word Manila, we're being tricked here.
Tom:
(snickers)
Stuart:
That it's actually about an envelope.
Ólafur:
Mhm.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
And that's what the work is around, and that's why you need a tiny envelope to... cut them open as like an– as a letter opener?
Ólafur:
You need a tiny umbrella to keep the Manila... not wet.
Stuart:
Yeah, yeah.
Ólafur:
During monsoon season. Yeah.
Stuart:
Yeah.
Davina:
Sorry, what, say that again with Ólafur? Ólafur, what are you doing with the umbrella,
Ólafur:
with the Manila? You have a tiny umbrella above the envelope to protect it. Okay? Is that just to get me to do the thing again, or am I close? (cracks up)
Davina:
What is so interesting is that... Stuart, by being really lateral, kind of was very wrong.
SFX:
(Tom and Stuart laugh)
Davina:
But really fun to listen to, and you know, Manila envelopes—
Tom:
Really wrong with Manila envelope, but...
Davina:
Really wrong. However... basically everything else that was said was completely right.
Tom:
Okay.
Ólafur:
That's basically the tagline of the show. Like, you are absolutely insane, but not far off.
Davina:
Yeah. That, and really quickly kind of got to the— But go even earlier. What was the first thing...
Tom:
Okay, so...
Davina:
that Ólafur said?
Tom:
So, gig economy. You said it could have been like... a car or something with a roof. But if this is the Philippines, there's gonna be a lot of scooters. There's gonna be a lot of motorbikes and... I don't know what you would... what you would use a tiny umbrella for, other than keeping the sun or the rain off something small.
Ólafur:
But also thinking, like, tiny... You wouldn't have to say "tiny umbrella". If it's like if you're on a scooter, you just have an umbrella, attach it to the scooter, and do your thing. But I'm like, is this an umbrella for a dog? You're dog walking?
Davina:
I think there's two things. You guys are forgetting the thing you said before gig economy, which was completely right about Manila. You said something else.
Tom:
Monsoons.
Davina:
Right.
Ólafur:
Hm.
Tom:
Also, you can't have a huge umbrella on a scooter, because wind. You can't hold that up.
Ólafur:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's not gonna work.
Tom:
That's not gonna work. You wear waterproof clothing in monsoon season if you're— you've got a helmet and bike leathers on presumably, so... what's the tiny umbrella for?
Davina:
Okay, so I think, think about what Stuart said about...
Stuart:
But I was wrong.
Davina:
Well...
Stuart:
I was so very wrong.
Davina:
In one way. But in another way, you were so very right.
Stuart:
Oh, it's to protect Sonic on the back of the tuktuk.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Davina:
You're not deferential enough to the questions! You have to defer to the questions.
Ólafur:
This is not the Sonic episode.
Tom:
(laughs) 'Tis now. Oh, but it could be, like, electronics. It could be a phone or something like that. Is it just to keep the phone dry? If you're in monsoon season... phones are meant to be waterproof... but if you're going at 40 miles an hour down the streets of Manila in a monsoon, I wouldn't trust the waterproofing on the phone.
Stuart:
Agreed.
Ólafur:
Agreed. Cool. Thank you.
Stuart:
Great. We move on. Thank you.
Tom:
Is that right?
Davina:
Yeah, it's closing, yeah, it's closing. You're right. Yeah, you're right.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Davina:
Like many people in Manila, Carlos rides a motorbike or scooter to get around. You guys got the scooter. Regardless of whether he's offering rides or doing deliveries, he needs access to an app to accept new jobs and follow the map. And during September, that is the rainy season, so covering the phone won't work.
Tom:
No, it won't, and—
Davina:
And so— Right.
Tom:
Covering the phone won't work, and putting a touch— You need to completely cover it, so you can still tap the device. The screen won't work, the capacitive screen won't work in the rain. It's not just, put a cover over it, it's completely keep it dry.
Davina:
So, the picture that I have, which I feel like you guys have described beautifully, and in a way it started with the Manila envelope
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
having its own little...
Ólafur:
Oh, that's why you did the— asked me to mime the thing again.
Davina:
That's why I wanted you to do that. It wasn't just for humiliation, it was for...
SFX:
(guys laughing)
Tom:
Well, both.
Davina:
This question's come from Rafael, and he says, "Personal anecdote, I'm a student in Manila. During the city's rainy season, I've witnessed a couple of motorcycle drivers using a tiny umbrella for their phones. It's been quite amusing and funny to see."
Stuart:
Awh!
Tom:
That's lovely.
Thank you to Scott Sieke for this question.
In 2025, how did a gnat in Maryland help Tommy to earn an extra $80,000?
One more time.
In 2025, how did a gnat in Maryland help Tommy to earn an extra $80,000?
Ólafur:
Let's not answer this question, and I'm just gonna go do that. I think. Let's just keep this here, and I'll go and, yeah, I'll find a gnat.
Davina:
But what if your gnat— I thought it was gambling. Like, do you remember the octopus that used to... predict elections?
Stuart:
Ohhh!
Davina:
Do you think it's like a gnat he used to be like, if you buzz there or do that, I'll bet on that team. Or buzz there.
Stuart:
Yeah, a gnat with a knack.
Davina:
A gnat with a knack.
Stuart:
Yeah.
Davina:
For gambling.
Stuart:
Predicting. (snickers)
Davina:
Predict— yeah. The full...
Stuart:
Yeah, yeah.
Davina:
That's the full phrase. A gnat with a knack.
Ólafur:
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the word for 'nat'. So it's not network access translation.
Tom:
It is not. It is G-N-A-T.
Ólafur:
A gnat. Ah.
Davina:
Which is the name of a little mosquito, right?
Tom:
Yes, little bug.
Stuart:
Little bug. Little bug got 80 grand.
Davina:
And that is— A gnat is a mosquito, right? The one that sucks your little— your blood?
Tom:
Yeah.
Davina:
Is that right?
Tom:
I mean, it's a tiny bug of some description, yeah.
Davina:
So I think it's where it sucks your blood. Like, if it sucks it on that arm, it's like, I don't know, Arsenal's win everything. But if it sucks that arm...
Stuart:
What's happened to the other arm?
Ólafur:
It's the nematocera. That's the mosquito kind, I think.
Tom:
Yes.
Ólafur:
Which Iceland doesn't have, but now, after last— after this summer, apparently Iceland has mosquitoes.
Tom:
Yes. First one spotted.
Stuart:
Really? Finally.
Tom:
Stuart, you said that in kind of an enthusiastic tone. It's like, "Finally, there's mosquitoes!"
Stuart:
Good on ya.
Ólafur:
(laughs)
Davina:
Like, welcome to the big boy club, baby.
Stuart:
Yeah.
Ólafur:
Thank you.
Davina:
Welcome to Mosquito Town.
Stuart:
Now let's see how you deal with it.
Davina:
Yeah.
Ólafur:
(snickers)
Davina:
You're gonna need some DEET.
Tom:
Are they actually fighting them or just letting it happen? 'Cause I'm remembering Alberta and the rats.
Ólafur:
They found eggs, so they're—
Tom:
Ohh...
Ólafur:
What they're saying is, they're probably somewhere.
Tom:
Right.
Ólafur:
So they're just waiting for this summer to arrive.
Stuart:
Imagine finding eggs, just stumbling. Oh, sorry, what have I tripped over? Oh, it's mosquito eggs.
Davina:
Gotta have really good eyesight.
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Stuart:
Yeah.
Davina:
See those little gnat eggs.
Ólafur:
So, the gnat... The gnat helped him to fi— to...
Tom:
Earn an extra $80,000. And no, it's not gambling.
Davina:
Did you say earn? Sorry.
Tom:
Earn an extra $80,000. And no, it's not gambling, but he'd have probably helped some other people earn some money like that as well.
Stuart:
So, it is to do with the McDonald's Monopoly thing. The gnat helped him get the winning game pieces.
And they were distributing them 'round to people and saying, "If you want the million-dollar one, you gotta pay me 100 grand. Here it is."
Which is a real thing that happened in the '90s with the McDonald's—
Tom:
That is a real thing that happened, yep.
Stuart:
But I think the gnat brought it back.
Ólafur:
Is this something to do with the stock market?
Stuart:
Okay.
Davina:
Sorry!
Tom:
Yeah, sorry. We're all just no-selling that one. Sorry, Stuart.
Davina:
No, no, no. Sorry. How can a gnat help you with the McDonald's Monopoly game?
Stuart:
Gets in the security, through the security without getting noticed.
Davina:
And then is peeling off the sticky labels and being like, "Oh, we need three more blues."
Stuart:
And this is it. This is Jurassic World Dominion started with a Snickers wrapper. And it was their representation of chaos theory. This is chaos theory, but it's a gnat winning McDonald's Monopoly.
Davina:
Yeah, that— Yeah, okay. Is it that?
Tom:
Wrong on almost all counts.
Stuart:
Right, okay.
Tom:
Except perhaps for a little bit of the chaos theory thing here.
Stuart:
(gasps)
Davina:
Oh. So it flapped its wings. If a gnat in Maryland flaps its wings... does a guy...
Tom:
(chuckles)
Ólafur:
I have one tangent. Has this got to do with the stock market?
Tom:
No. No, but—
Ólafur:
'Cause here's my little tangent, 'cause you mentioned chaos theory.
I remember there was some account somewhere, where someone had a fish in a tank, and they had marked on the fish tank... something about the stock market. If you should buy or sell, or which thing you should buy and sell. And then a camera would take a photo once in a while. And wherever the fish was in the fish tank, that's what you should do with the stock. You should buy it and sell it. And apparently, that was— did better than some analyst or something.
So is this a gnat that is doing something, and then based on what the gnat does randomly, they make a decision?
Tom:
I am again just gonna pick a few words out of that. It's something the gnat did randomly, but it's not like there was someone deliberately doing this.
Davina:
What do gnats do other than fly from one place to another place?
Tom:
Yep.
Stuart:
Showing your ignorance there. There's a lot of other things.
Tom:
(laughs) That is basically what it did. Yeah. It flew from one place to another place.
Davina:
Ergo, earning £80,000, because it was a DoorDash delivery. It got an extra job. It was an Uber driver.
Ólafur:
With a tiny umbrella for the gnat.
Davina:
With a tiny umbrella.
Ólafur:
Yeah.
Stuart:
Yeah. What it feels like is this is like the Underpants Gnomes in South Park, where it's, gnat flies from here to there, "...???, profit."
Tom:
Mhm. Yeah, yeah, basically. The $80,000 was on top of an already big payday for Tommy. Stuart, I'm gonna bring you back to, you said gambling earlier. Tommy is not gambling, but people would've been gambling on Tommy.
Davina:
'Cause it's sports.
Stuart:
Sports.
Tom:
Sports.
Davina:
Gnat racing.
Stuart:
So Stuart Pearce. Oh, yeah. Stuart Pearce.
Davina:
Missing.
Stuart:
Gnat racing.
Davina:
Yeah.
Ólafur:
Is this one of those weird sports, like The Oddshow ? It's not a normal sport?
Tom:
It's very popular, this sport.
Ólafur:
Okay.
Tom:
Tommy was already going to earn a lot of money here.
Davina:
Oh, so he's an NFL player. So he's wadded, and he's in Maryland, which is in America.
Tom:
Mhm.
Davina:
The Wire, Baltimore. He plays for the Baltimore Wanderers.
Tom:
(laughs) He's not NFL...
Davina:
But he is basketball.
Tom:
But you're right. Famous sportsman, but... a gnat couldn't really affect much in a basketball or a football game.
Davina:
Oh, it's like cricket with the, like, you know, when they rub the ball on the ball, and it's like, that's— you're being ridiculous. Like the sandpaper on the cricket ball, right?
Tom:
Yeah. It's not cricket...
Davina:
Right? Same kind of...
Tom:
But sandpaper, and then... it's...
Davina:
Tiny, it's like a tiny thing changes that really affects the game.
Tom:
Yes.
Davina:
Golf?
Tom:
Golf!
Davina:
No, that— Golf. It's golf. So it is like, if a gnat— It's to do with the wind! Surely, in golf.
Ólafur:
Yeah, yeah.
Stuart:
It landed on the ball on the edge of the hole, and it went in the hole, and he won the extra amount of money.
Tom:
Tommy is Tommy Fleetwood playing in the BMW Championship in Maryland. He made a 28-foot putt. It stopped, I'm quoting directly here, "agonizingly close to the hole". And the TV cameras spot a tiny bug crawling on the side of the ball nearest the hole.
And was it the bug that tipped the balance? We don't know. We're not sure. But as far as the TV commentators were concerned, the bug flicked to the other side of the ball, and the ball toppled in.
And instead of $830,000 for fifth place, he won $910,000, tying for fourth.
Davina:
Wow. That's comedian money. That's the real...
SFX:
(guys laughing)
Stuart:
That's the Maryland job, isn't it? The end of that with a truck hanging over the edge.
Davina:
Yes, that's right.
Stuart:
But it's in Maryland. It's a lovely bit of business.
Davina:
And the little five gnats with their minis.
Tom:
Stuart, we'll take your question please.
Stuart:
This question has been sent in by Leonie Mercedes.
David regularly bought a Greek newspaper that he knew he wouldn't read. Why?
Tom:
(laughs) And one more time?
Stuart:
David regularly bought a Greek newspaper that he knew he wouldn't read. Why?
SFX:
(Tom and Davina crack up)
Tom:
There are—
Davina:
This is great for cleaning the windows.
Tom:
There are a lot of Lateral questions that end with the word "why", and...
Stuart:
Why?
Tom:
Sometimes it is difficult to enunciate that in a way that doesn't sound like Alan Partridge whining.
Stuart:
Why?
Ólafur:
If he's not reading it, did it matter if it was Greek or just some...
Stuart:
I would guess it matters that it was Greek. But it doesn't matter that it was Greek specifically.
Davina:
So maybe it's like it's got to be a foreign newspaper, or it's got to be a non-American or English, 'cause we're in England. It's got to be— Maybe there's more words. There's less print on a Greek newspaper.
I'm thinking about, you know, when you clean your windows with a newspaper 'cause it makes the— it gives you no streaks? Which I learnt from—
Tom:
I didn't know that. I feel like I should've known that.
Davina:
It's just women taking on more of that labour in the households.
Tom:
(laughs)
Stuart:
Well, stop coming around here and cleaning my window then.
SFX:
(group laughing)
Stuart:
I literally haven't asked you.
Davina:
No! Never! No, I'm gonna come over with my Greek newspaper. You love it.
SFX:
(laughter trails off)
Davina:
So I— So it's a newspaper that's used for s— Oh! Maybe it's used to absorb dog wee. Or you know, something else.
Tom:
(laughs brightly) Why would you need specifically Greek newsletter?
Davina:
'Cause the dog can only read Greek!
Stuart:
Say more though. Say more.
Davina:
The dog is Greek.
Stuart:
No, no, that's slightly going the wrong way now.
Ólafur:
The dog needs to do the crossword puzzle.
Davina:
You're using it for the dog need to wee.
Stuart:
Now, this is my little reveal, 'cause I've been destroyed mercilessly in this game, to say, Davina – absolutely nowhere near with the dog stuff.
SFX:
(Tom and Ólafur guffaw)
Davina:
(hisses)
Stuart:
Absolutely nowhere near.
Ólafur:
Okay. The dog is gonna do the Wordle, not the guy, so...
Davina:
Okay.
Tom:
So he doesn't read Greek.
Davina:
(gasps) His neighbours do! So he puts it up in his window, and his neighbours who speak Greek read it. So it's like when you have a Labour sign or something. It's like when people put signs in their window to show who they vote for. It's not for him to read, is what I'm trying to say.
Stuart:
It's— It isn't for him to read. That bit is correct.
Davina:
It's for Greek speakers – Greek readers, if you will – to read.
Stuart:
I would say in this example, that is irrelevant. There is not a Greek person in sight.
Tom:
Oh, 'cause I was thinking that he's trying to blend in as a local. Like, he's in Greece, and he's annoyed with people constantly thinking that, "Oh, there is the tourist," so I'm going to buy the Greek newspaper, and I'm going to go on the Athens Metro, and no one's going to bother me for being a tourist. But there's no one Greek in sight, so that doesn't make sense.
Davina:
And Athens is famously filled with Greeks.
Ólafur:
Correct.
Tom:
It is, yes.
Davina:
If there's one thing.
Tom:
Mhm. Yeah.
Davina:
That was the main— That was my takeaway.
Tom:
Yep.
Stuart:
It is part of trying to blend in, but it's... actually to do it, it's... yeah, it's in an interesting way.
Ólafur:
I was thinking, like, are you a CIA agent, and you wanted to be— But there's no Greeks in sight then.
Davina:
Oh, but maybe it's, you have to have a foreign newspaper to be on that bench at a particular time. It's to send a message. Like the way symbols...
Tom:
Mmmh.
Davina:
So he's been given instructions?
Tom:
Or... it's to make people think... that he doesn't speak English. Or to make people think that he's... foreign.
Stuart:
Hmmm.
Tom:
Like, he's in British, he buys the Greek newspaper, and sits there, and everyone's like, "Oh, that's a Greek man." (cracks up) But I don't know where you'd go from there.
Stuart:
Why would you want to be seen as a Greek man?
Davina:
Everyone thinks you sell really good Greek food, 'cause you run a Greek restaurant in England.
Stuart:
Absolutely nowhere near, again.
Tom:
(laughs uproariously)
Ólafur:
Oh, was he—
Davina:
I think that was actually unnecessarily nasty.
Tom:
For those watching...
Davina:
That was really nasty.
Tom:
For those listening just in audio there, Stuart did a full finger on nose and point before saying "nothing like that". Just... incredible play.
Davina:
Really mean, wasn't it?
Ólafur:
I was thinking he was making people think he has a... his food truck was really authentic, so we have the Greek newspapers there, so...
Tom:
Oh.
Ólafur:
But no, no.
Davina:
But Stuart, you said that Greek was immaterial, right?
Stuart:
Yeah, it doesn't matter that it's Greek specifically. It's just that it's not...
Davina:
English. It's gotta be foreign.
Stuart:
Yes.
Davina:
So it's conve— He wants something to convey foreignness.
Stuart:
Yes.
Davina:
Why do you wanna convey foreignness? Because you wanna be seen as sexy. So, you don't read The Sun. You...
Tom:
To get a discount on something. To conv— Who are you trying to convince?
Stuart:
I don't think you're trying to... Convince is interesting... but actually it's not that you're trying to convince that you're Greek.
Davina:
It's that you're not English. It's not about the... 'Cause if the Greek is immaterial, right? Or let's say whatever language is immaterial, the foreign newspaperness is immaterial... Isn't it then what Tom said, it's that you're not English? That's the emphasis?
Stuart:
Yes, I guess. And then it's that you're— there's— it's more specific than just broadly English.
Davina:
Is it something to do with the recession? Is it something to do with Euro and the Eurozone and the collapse of the Greek economy?
Stuart:
Bowieway.
Ólafur:
I'm wondering if it's, like, the reason why you say, like, you want to convey that you're Greek, but not— And then you keep pausing. I'm like, ah, there's something here you don't want to give away. Is it, like, you don't want to say that you're North Macedonian or, like, there's something... like a neighboring country of Greece?
Stuart:
It's an interesting idea, I would say. Nowhere near.
Davina:
What gleeful...
Tom:
(laughs)
Davina:
The glee with which he tells us we're wrong feels kind of against the spirit of the show. But it's not for me to say.
SFX:
(Tom and Stuart laugh)
Davina:
I just— That's how I feel about it.
Tom:
Should've gone to Stuart first, So we could've ganged up on him for the rest of the episode, you know?
SFX:
(Ólafur and Stuart laugh)
Davina:
Yeah.
Stuart:
So, look, it would make... People would notice it before they noticed him, is a key detail, which would then—
Tom:
Oh, so they won't talk to him.
Stuart:
Yeah. And why would you want someone to not talk to you?
Davina:
'Cause you're on a flight for like eight hours, and you wanna be left alone on the flight, or the train.
Tom:
You're just antisocial and would prefer not to be bothered today.
Stuart:
I can't speak of the motivation in that specificity, but there is a broad reason. Why would you... Why would you want to not be spoken to, in a broader reason?
Davina:
'Cause you don't— You can't— 'Cause you find social interactions tricky.
Ólafur:
I mean, you're busy with something else. You cannot have anybody speak to you, so you're listening to something.
Tom:
He can't speak. He's unable to speak.
Stuart:
No. No, he very much can speak.
Davina:
Oh, he's famous.
Stuart:
Ah, there we go.
Davina:
He's a famous person, and he wants to just hold the newspaper over his face. 'Cause he's like George Clooney.
Tom:
Oh! No. No, no, no. It's not that— It's that anyone looking at him is going to go, "That can't be that famous person. He's reading a Greek newspaper."
Stuart:
Correct. And who's the famous person? I've already said it.
Tom:
What was the name? What was the name in the question?
Davina:
David. David.
Stuart:
David.
Davina:
His name is Da— It's David.
Ólafur:
Is it Beckham?
Davina:
Interesting.
Stuart:
No, I've already said his last name at some point.
Tom:
Oh, no!
Davina:
Is it David You Haven't Got It?
Stuart:
(cackles)
Tom:
You snuck the surname into the question somewhere?!
Stuart:
I snuck it into the chat that we've had somewhere.
Tom:
Oh, no!
Stuart:
(laughs) Yes! Oh, this was great.
SFX:
(both laughing)
Tom:
You've set yourself up as the villain at the end of the episode, Stuart! That's incredible! You're gonna have to give us the David.
Stuart:
It's David Bowie.
Davina:
Ohhh.
Tom:
Ohhh.
Ólafur:
Ahh.
Davina:
That's really good work.
Stuart:
And I said, at one point, I said "Bowieway"... in a way that's supposed to say, "No way".
Tom:
Ohhh!
Ólafur:
I think we're gonna need an instant replay here.
Tom:
Yeah, we are.
Stuart:
An instant replay, please.
Tom:
Rewind the tape.
SFX:
(replay starts)
Davina:
Is it something to do with the recession? Is it something to do with Euro and the Eurozone and the collapse of the Greek economy?
Stuart:
Bowieway.
SFX:
(replay ends)
Stuart:
So he used a Greek newspaper as part of a low-key disguise when moving around in public, especially in New York and London.
The idea was that if someone thought that they'd spotted Bowie, the sight of him carrying a Greek-language paper would make them second-guess themselves, assuming he was just an ordinary Greek man who happened to resemble David Bowie.
Tom:
One last order of business then.
Adam Jeff, thank you for sending this in.
In 2023, why did the phrase, "Cat, I have farted" suddenly gain popularity in France?
Anyone want to take a shot at that?
Stuart:
Oh, is it to do with Red Dwarf or something like that?
Tom:
It does sound like a line from Red Dwarf.
Davina:
Is it a song lyric? But translated from American into French or something?
Ólafur:
What is that in French? Does it sound like something else?
Davina:
Chat... I can't do past tense.
Stuart:
Ohhh.
Davina:
What's—
Stuart:
What is f—
Tom:
I think you can get this from just, "Cat, I have."
Stuart:
Chat, j'ai...
Davina:
Chaté...
Stuart:
Chaté, chat j'ai...
Ólafur:
ChatGPT.
Tom:
Chat, j'ai pété.
Davina:
Ah, chat, j'ai pété.
Tom:
Yes, spot on. When a French speaker sees 'ChatGPT' written, they would pronounce it as 'sha je-pet-ey', which sounds very similar to the French for "Cat, I have farted" – "Chat, j'ai pété". Tech-savvy French people mostly use the English pronunciation to avoid confusion.
Thank you very much to our players. Where can people find you? Plug the show.
We will start with Davina.
Davina:
Please come and watch my show, Dancing While Old, on 5:30 every day at The Pleasance in Edinburgh, and Work In Progress is in London. Follow me on Instagram at davinabentleycomedy.
Tom:
And Ólafur.
Ólafur:
Follow me on the internet at @olafurw.
Tom:
And Stuart.
Stuart:
I have a podcast. It's called Week Minded, W-E-E-K, and it's with Daman Bamrah. It's a weekly podcast where we just have a nice chat about what we've been up to, and I'm pretty sure I'll be discussing becoming the villain on this show.
Tom:
(laughs) And if you wanna know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com, where you can also send in your own ideas for questions or join the Lateral Producer's Club. And we are at @lateralcast basically everywhere, and there are full video episodes every week on Spotify.
Thank you very much to Stuart Laws.
Stuart:
Thank you.
Tom:
Ólafur Waage.
Ólafur:
Bye-bye.
Tom:
Davina Bentley.
Davina:
(babbles softly)
Tom:
I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.
Episode Credits
| HOST | Tom Scott |
| QUESTION PRODUCER | David Bodycombe |
| EDITED BY | Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin |
| MUSIC | Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com) |
| ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS | Adam Jeff, Victor Divina, Kelly, Leonie Mercedes, Laurie Griffiths, Martijn Pennings, Scott Sieke |
| FORMAT | Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd |
| EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS | David Bodycombe and Tom Scott |