Get the RSS feed or search “Lateral” on your podcast app
Episode 186: Flaming buttocks
1st May, 2026 • Sam Denby, Adam Chase and Ben Doyle from 'Jet Lag: The Game' face questions about culinary caution, ballgame bests and necessary nosegays.
Transcription by Caption+
Tom:
Before Abigail starts baking, why does she grab a shower cap?
The answer to that at the end of the show. My name's Tom Scott, and this is Lateral.
Welcome to Lateral, the show where people normally sit still and think, which makes today's guests something of a novelty, because joining us are the team from Jet Lag: The Game, a show where the entire premise is sprinting through unfamiliar cities, making tactical decisions under pressure, and treating transit hubs like they're escape rooms.
So today is a big change of pace today. No boarding passage, no surprise challenges, and no one shouting "go, go, go" while running down a train platform. Instead, they're here to attempt something far more dangerous: answering questions that you can't run away from.
We start with Ben Doyle!
Ben:
Hello, everybody. It's Ben Doyle from Jet Lag: The Game.
Tom:
Welcome back to the show. How are you doing, Ben?
Ben:
I'm good. I'm raring to go. I sort of— it didn't occur to me until just now that I would have to be thinking.
Tom:
(laughs)
Ben:
I was sort of focused on the question I had to ask, and I was like, "Oh man, I'm gonna trick 'em so good." But then I was like, "Oh no, I gotta think about the other ones. That's tough."
Tom:
Also, welcome to the show, Adam Chase.
Adam:
Hi, Tom.
Tom:
How are you doing? It's been a little while.
Adam:
It's been a minute. Well, you were on our podcast recently, which was a lot of fun.
Tom:
I was. I was. The Layover, exclusive to Nebula.
Adam:
It's exclusive to Nebula.
Tom:
If I'm plugging Nebula hard, it's because right now, my show's going out a week earlier on Nebula. So, nebula.tv/tomscott. I'll just get that in on my code rather.
Adam:
And you could also go to nebula.tv/jetlag, of course, if you wanted to. That would be great.
One time I think we, as a joke said... nebula.tv/realengineering, like as a throwaway joke. And then I— Real Engineering got like a decent number of signups off of that.
Ben:
We did actually lose money.
Adam:
Yeah.
Ben:
When we put that bit.
Tom:
Well, hopefully there'll be no money lost on any of the questions today. Sam Denby, welcome back to the show.
Sam:
Thank you, Tom. I'm so excited to do... better than we did in Europe. That's always my bar.
Tom:
(chuckles)
Sam:
Spoilers.
Tom:
Spoilers, spoilers.
Sam:
We always have spoilers. If you don't watch our—
Tom:
For a show that's more than a year old now.
Sam:
Yeah. If you don't watch our show on time, that's your fault, you know?
Tom:
Well also, the Taiwan season will have just dropped, I think, as this episode goes out. What was it like being in a new country for the game, and a new network?
Sam:
I feel like the biggest thing for me... And, hopefully this is not problematic... is it was really hard to stop myself... And I did not always successfully stop myself from saying... "Yeah, we'll do that when we get back to Tokyo" or "We'll go down when we get back to Seoul". Because I was just
Tom:
Oh!
Sam:
inflating in my mind the geography of the other rail-based seasons that we did in Asia. But on the other hand, Taiwan was incredibly cool, and it was made incredibly more cool by the fact that I didn't know how incredibly cool it was.
Tom:
I don't know what the capital of Taiwan is.
Adam:
Taipei.
Tom:
Taipei! That's it. That's it. I should— I did know what it was and could not recall it in time.
Which bodes very well for the questions we've got coming up. Well, good luck to all three of you on the show today.
Welcome to a game where you can't win by catching an earlier flight. Please proceed to the gate marked 'question one'.
Sam:
Oh boy.
Tom:
Thank you to Jan Czechowski for this question.
In 1999, why did Polish players of the game Heroes of Might and Magic III have the option to choose a game mode called 'Flaming buttocks'?
(snickers) I'll say that one more time.
In 1999, why did Polish players of the game Heroes of Might and Magic III have the option to choose a game mode called 'Flaming buttocks'?
Adam:
Okay, well, here's what I'll say right off the bat. Tom specified Polish players. Which makes me think this is some sort of specific translation thing that happened when it was translated into Polish. This is my starting place.
Ben:
Mhm, mhm, mhm.
Sam:
1990— So do we think this is a video game?
Adam:
It must be, right?
Ben:
I would expect that this is a video game.
Sam:
I feel like game modes, I feel like that only happens in video games, right?
Tom:
Yeah. Yeah. I'd say that's fair.
Ben:
What could 'flaming buttocks' be a mistranslation of?
Adam:
Yeah. Well, I guess that's my question, Tom, is, first of all... can you tell us if this is a translation issue?
Tom:
I'm gonna say very little, 'cause you're mostly on the right track here.
Adam:
Okay, I just— I never know exactly how much Tom needs us to figure out on our own.
Tom:
(laughs)
Adam:
You know what I mean? It's like, how far do we gotta go?
Tom:
Don't metagame this so early, Adam.
Sam:
No, no. We have to metagame this. That's our thing.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sam:
I feel like the... But the Polish translation, we don't know Polish. And that would be an unsatisfying answer if it's just—
Tom:
You don't know Polish, no.
Adam:
I don't know any Polish at all.
Sam:
Oh, it was translated wrong. That's not a good answer. It's gotta be— there's gotta be a trick.
Adam:
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I'm with you. I'm with you. So...
Tom:
It actually, it's not a trick here. You're spot on. It's a mistranslation in a video game.
Adam:
But you would like us to figure out what it's a mistranslation of?
Tom:
I definitely want more than that. And 1999 is a bit of a clue there as well. Not much of a clue, but it's that era.
Sam:
Is it a Y2K thing?
Tom:
No, not this time.
Sam:
Ah, damn. (chuckles)
Adam:
Yeah, I thought that.
Tom:
I think it'd be fair to say this game mode would be much less important as technology moved on.
Adam:
When you say that the game mode was called 'flaming buttocks'...
Tom:
Yes.
Adam:
Did it... Did it say like in English, 'flaming buttocks', or was it that the game mode was some Polish phrase that means 'flaming buttocks'?
Tom:
Yes, that's correct.
Adam:
Okay. It was a Polish phrase that translates to—
Sam:
Okay.
Tom:
Yeah.
Sam:
I've got a theory. It's like a 80% theory, 'cause it doesn't quite make sense. But what if it's like, okay, Tom said that it didn't matter as much these days.
I'm thinking like processing power on computers is less than... when computers are thinking really hard, they get hot. So like, if your laptop's thinking really hard, your lap will be flaming. It may be... Is there a computer that you sit on?
Tom:
You know how you said that was about an 80% shot, Sam?
Sam:
Yeah?
Tom:
The 20% unfortunately paid off this time.
Sam:
That's not even close?
Ben:
Oof.
Tom:
Not even close.
Ben:
Maybe it's an internet thing. I also— I know that a lot of games in the late '90s were making weird compromises for dial-up internet.
Tom:
Yeah, certainly it couldn't be online all the time. And Ben, you're right. This is to do with the internet stuff. This is because local multiplayer was much more common.
Adam:
Right? It's like 'hotspot' or something.
Tom:
So it's not hots—
Adam:
Like 'hotlink'.
Ben:
Okay.
Adam:
Hot...
Tom:
Buttocks.
Adam:
What, is it?
Tom:
Buttocks is the key word.
Adam:
I'm— Look, Tom. My brain's laser focused on the word 'buttocks'.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Adam:
And I'm trying to get there. Hot...
Ben:
'Cause this is like a— this is a LAN mode.
Tom:
Not even LAN mode – single computer mode.
Sam:
Is it like a mistranslation for like 'hotseat'?
Tom:
Yes, it is, Sam!
Adam:
Seat, okay.
Tom:
That is absolutely right. Heroes of Might and Magic III had a hotseat mode, where you would get out of your chair to let the next player have a go.
Ben:
There we go.
Adam:
Oh, and you would switch the other person, 'cause you could only do one.
Ben:
Got it.
Adam:
Yeah, yeah.
Tom:
And the Polish edition of the game mistranslated that into the Polish for "flaming buttocks".
Sam:
Very cool. That sounds so much cooler.
Tom:
Ben, you were very eager for your question. So we'll go over to you, whenever you're ready.
Ben:
And this question has been sent in by Rado.
The question is:
What can a fossilized coral from 420 million years ago tell geophysicists about the number 420?
And I'll read that again.
What can a fossilized coral from 420 million years ago tell geophysicists about the number 420?
Sam:
So 420, we all know what that means, right?
Adam:
Right. Well this, of course, look. We would be, you know, we'd be lying if we didn't all immediately think that 420 is a number that means weed. It means 'blazing it'.
Sam:
Yeah. There is a reason here in Colorado where, why the road mileage signs, you know, you go 416, 417, 418, 419, 419.99 miles, and then 421 miles.
Tom:
People are still stealing the 419.99 signs though.
Sam:
Yeah, they definitely are.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sam:
(snickers)
Tom:
I'm remembering there's something... I think this is actually ocean floor, but I'm gonna say it in case it's close. The Earth's magnetic poles flip every so often... and you can see that in geological records. So I'm wondering if there's something similar in coral growth?
Sam:
You heard the thing about how they have no idea when that magnetism flip would happen, and if it happens, everything's screwed, society is screwed. Just, it's like one of those things that you should kind of be a little bit worried about.
Tom:
It's— I remember there being conspiracy theories about it. I remember there being some book in the public library that was... when I was a kid that was, "Oh, the Earth's poles are gonna flip!" Full pseudoscience all the way through. Should not have been in that library, but...
Sam:
But couldn't they?
Tom:
And also—
Sam:
Isn't that the thing? Maybe I'm victim to pseudoscience.
Tom:
Oh, I thank you, Producer David. Every 200,000 to 300,000 years on average. So, I don't see why that would be number 420.
Adam:
Okay, so here's what I'd like to sort of see if we can focus in on. So, Ben said that this coral taught the scientists about the number 420, right? That was what you said?
Sam:
Yeah, what do you learn about numbers themselves?
Adam:
Yeah, that's what I'm stuck on. It's like, what could you possibly learn about a number?
Ben:
I will note that they're not just any scientists. They are geophysicists.
Tom:
Oh yeah. That was why I was on Earth's magnetic pole.
Sam:
Under a strict interpretation, I feel like the things you learn about a number is like, I'm thinking you can learn like, "Okay, this is like a prime number", right? And various math things like that, right?
Tom:
Yeah, what's coral gonna teach you about that?
Sam:
Oh, oh, here's a thought. Isn't there... What's the... This is another thing where it's like, it's not quite this, but it's in the right direction, I think maybe. Aren't there corals that are like... What is that geometric structure where you zoom in, and it looks the same way?
Tom:
Fractal, fractal.
Sam:
Yes, fractals. Are we...
Tom:
(laughs)
Sam:
Is— Are we in the— Is this fractal related, Ben?
Tom:
You stopped mid-thought there, Sam.
Ben:
Look, I'm gonna say that what you're saying, you're saying some cool, cool ass stuff. It has...
Sam:
Ugh.
Ben:
absolutely nothing to do with the answer to this question.
Adam:
What? I was sure that it was gonna be a thing where it was like, the coral, because of its shape, proves that the number 420 is like... you know, prime or something. I know it's not prime, but you know what mean.
Ben:
I'm gonna redirect you. Can I— Permission to give a clue?
Sam:
Permission granted. Oh wait, I'm not in charge of this.
SFX:
(Tom and Adam laugh)
Ben:
Okay. You're in charge, Ben. Sam has given me permission, and he is my employer, so I am listening to him. Look, coral, they're kinda like trees. They've got growth rings, okay? You can look at a coral—
Sam:
But trees are also fractals!
Ben:
I don't care.
Tom:
Okay.
Adam:
Okay, wait, wait. Let's... You said that the coral is 420 million years old, right? And we said that we learned something about the number 420. Surely this means that it relates to something that happens every million years? Or like, right? It can't be a coincidence that it's 420 million years old, and the thing we learned was about the number 420, right? Those things are related.
Tom:
It can absolutely be a coincidence. This is Lateral. It can 100% be a coincidence.
Adam:
I'm trying to read Ben's face, which isn't good audio.
Sam:
I feel like it's getting redder and more excited.
Tom:
(laughs)
Sam:
Because Ben did say that he thought his thing was... I forget exactly what he said, but he was really excited about his thing and its ability to mislead us.
Adam:
He said that coral has rings. Okay, so like...
Ben:
They're like, they're growth rings like trees, but they're much, much finer.
Adam:
And what, like once you get 420 of them, then something happens? Like...
Ben:
I would say, I would think about what can.. What could the growth rings reflect? They reflect something
Tom:
Oh?
Ben:
that happens regularly in the environment of the coral.
Tom:
Yeah. So same as trees. It's gonna be the ocean heating and cooling. Presumably. That's what causes growth rings in trees. It's the summer and winter cycle. So I assume it's heating and cooling of the water?
Ben:
No.
Adam:
Oh, what if it was something about the Moon? What if it's something about the Moon, right?
Because the Moon affects the ocean, right? And it affects the tides and stuff. And maybe what this teaches us— Here's what I've got. I think that this teaches us how quickly... something about the way that the moon's orbit is changing, that like the Moon is getting slightly closer to or further from the Earth at some rate of 420 years, and that affects the water levels and the tides or whatever. And you can see that in coral.
Final answer, lock it in.
Ben:
You're definitely on the right track.
Tom:
Did the lunar month used to be 420 days? And we can track that through coral?
Ben:
That is, again, close. It is not what the... what we've learned about the number 420.
Adam:
But it relates to the cycles of the Moon?
Ben:
It's not— I would focus still on the Earth. But it has to do with the Moon.
Adam:
They're geophysicists, right? Is that helpful? They're geophysicists. Ben emphasized that. So there's something that happens. There's something that happens as relates to the Earth and the Moon. Could it be eclipses? Could it have to do with how often there's a lunar eclipse?
Tom:
Or earthquakes or some geophysical thing?
Ben:
This statistic... is now a little bit smaller.
Tom:
Huh.
Adam:
What the hell does that mean?
Ben:
In the modern day.
Adam:
Every 420—
Ben:
This number was 420. This number is smaller now.
Adam:
Okay. Is it that something happens once every 420 years on average? Is that what they learned?
Ben:
No.
Sam:
Is it that something happens every 420 somethings?
Ben:
Yes.
Sam:
Okay. Is it 420 units of time?
Ben:
Y–Yes.
Adam:
Year, days in a year. There used to be 420 days in a year?
Tom:
Ohhh!
Ben:
That's it. Yes.
Tom:
Wait, we know that from coral?
Ben:
We know that from coral that there used to be 420 days in a year. Basically they would— you could tell from the layers how many... lunar cycles would fit into one annual year. And this reveals 420 daily growth bands in a year, indicating that Earth once completed a full orbit around the Sun in about 420 shorter days, meaning that the planet was spinning faster.
Tom:
Thank you to Matt Monitto for this question.
In an amateur baseball game from 1960, Alfred hit a fly ball to right field, but he wasn't ruled out until the following day. In what way would a home run have been an amazing achievement?
I'll say that again.
In an amateur baseball game from 1960, Alfred hit a fly ball to right field, but he wasn't ruled out until the following day. In what way would a home run have been an amazing achievement?
Sam:
What it sounds like to me is that... did it take them time to litigate whether or not it was a home run or out?
Ben:
And it probably had something to do with like, this is probably a weird baseball field in some way. Where like— Berlin Wall!
Sam:
I feel like it's a baseball field, on a— it's on a boat or something. You know?
Adam:
Are they in freaking space?
Tom:
They are not in space, but you have drilled down to the important parts of this question very quickly.
Sam:
Okay, not space baseball.
Ben:
But they're almost in space.
Tom:
They are not in space. But you've drilled down to the important parts of the question.
Ben:
Okay. So it's like a weird baseball field.
Tom:
Definitely a weird baseball field. And Sam, you said boat.
Sam:
Yeah.
Tom:
I think that's technically true.
Sam:
Hmm.
Ben:
Aircraft carrier.
Sam:
Aircraft carrier. It's a good thought.
Ben:
You could play baseball on an aircraft carrier probably.
Adam:
Maybe they were— Maybe— Maybe they were in a submarine.
Sam:
What was the year again?
Tom:
1960. And Adam, submarine is right. Because they are boats, not ships. They weren't playing on board though.
Sam:
Were they playing, like using vehicles, like vehicles as like the elements of the game?
Tom:
Oh, that'd be so good! It's not, unfortunately, but I would love to see some version of submarine baseball
Sam:
Next Jet Lag season.
Tom:
with like a periscope tracking the hits and...
Sam:
Yeah.
Ben:
Yeah. Next Jet Lag season is submarine baseball. It was 1960.
Adam:
It was the... what? So it's like, it's the Cold War. Is that relevant?
Tom:
Yeah. Yeah. USS Seadragon was the name of the submarine that they were from.
Ben:
Did like Cuba—? Cuba loves baseball.
Tom:
It does. It does.
Sam:
Are we in like Guantanamo Bay?
Tom:
(snickers) No. Nowhere even close. A long, long way from... Well, a long, long way from Cuba. A long, long way from home.
Adam:
Okay. Alright. So—
Sam:
What about— Whoa, okay. Hear me out. Icebergs.
Tom:
Getting closer.
Sam:
Oh!
Ben:
Icebergs?
Tom:
Definitely getting closer. I'm gonna give you the question one more time. Alfred hit a fly ball to right field, but he wasn't ruled out until the following day.
Sam:
Oh, oh, North Pole.
Tom:
Keep going, Sam! Why would a home run be an amazing achievement?
Sam:
International Date Line.
Adam:
Time zones. Freaking time zones.
Sam:
They're at the North Pole. He shot it across the International Date Line into tomorrow.
Tom:
Into right field.
Sam:
Yeah.
Tom:
Yes. So why would a home run in that game be technically an amazing achievement?
Ben:
Because he would hit it a different day or something?
Tom:
You could do that "hit a ball into next day" joke anywhere on the Date Line.
Sam:
Right.
Tom:
What can you only do with a home run at the North Pole?
Sam:
What, because the definition of a home run, it's like... I don't know exactly, but I assume it's like, you hit it out of the designated—
Adam:
It goes over the wall.
Sam:
Yeah.
Adam:
Or whatever.
Tom:
That's actually not the important part of this. There's something else you do here.
Ben:
Oh, you have to run in a circle around the different date lines.
Tom:
Which means you would...
Adam:
I mean, I don't know. It means that you would— you would, what, you would... It would take you a whole day to run the bases or something?
Tom:
We're talking about space rather than time. And you've done this for your own show.
Adam:
You would've circumnavigated the globe.
Tom:
You have circumnavigated the globe!
Ben:
You circumnavigated the globe.
Tom:
Yes, you have. I mean...
Ben:
(gasps)
Tom:
Not under the definitions where you have to do a certain amount of mileage. That's fair enough.
But, a quote from Captain Alfred McLaren of the USS Seadragon: "If you hit a home run, you'd circumnavigate the globe. If you hit into right field, you'd hit into tomorrow. And if the right fielder caught the ball, he'd throw it back into yesterday. I'm still not sure what day the game ended."
Sam, we will go to your question please.
Sam:
Great, okay.
This question has been sent by Patrick T.
The Chamberlen family was a successful dynasty of obstetricians in the 17th century. Why did they use blindfolds, bells, and bellows while delivering babies?
I will repeat it again.
The Chamberlen family was a successful dynasty of obstetricians in the 17th century. Why did they use blindfolds, bells, and bellows while delivering babies?
Tom:
You're asking this on an episode of Lateral, where you have four people who read as default man. Good luck, everybody! We'll get through this.
Ben:
I'm an alternative man, Tom.
Sam:
Yeah.
Tom:
(laughs)
Ben:
I'm a— I'm weird as hell.
Adam:
Immediate thought is like, okay, there's a dynasty of OB-GYNs, right? And so if they're delivering babies, maybe 'cause it's old timey times, they needed to wear a blindfold, so that they, you know, people felt comfortable being examined or whatever. That's my starting place. Is that anything?
Sam:
How would you examine them if you have a blindfold on? Just...
Tom:
(chuckles)
Adam:
I don't know. That you would be able to—
Ben:
They did a lot of weird stuff back then.
Adam:
Yeah.
Tom:
Blindfolds, bells, and bellows reminds me of like a Victorian séance. So, the mediums who were claiming to communicate with the dead would put on blindfolds, and they would mysteriously make bells ring. And I guess you could use bellows to create draughts of air or some sort of effect. I dunno how that goes back to obstetricians in... what year was this?
Sam:
17th century.
Tom:
I dunno how that goes back to 17th century obstetricians, but... it's the recipe for a Victorian séance.
Ben:
This would be a lot easier if Sam just told us what it was.
Sam:
Yeah.
Tom:
(laughs heartily)
Adam:
That's true.
Tom:
Tonight on Straightforward!
Ben:
Okay. It's like, I feel like back then, they were also doing all kinds of—
Tom:
'Literal' was right there!
Adam:
Mmh. 'Literal' would've been good.
Ben:
That would've been good.
Adam:
Hey, Tom, you got to it pretty fast. You should feel good. You got there pretty fast.
Ben:
Okay. I feel like back then, they were doing lots of... people were like, would go... Maybe this was— maybe I've got my times wrong, but people would go see surgeries for fun. It was like... there was a lot of anatomic entertainment. Is this like a circus? It's like the— it's like Cirque du Soleil, but they're having babies.
Tom:
But this is pre-anaesthetic as well. I'm pretty sure 17th century is pre-anesthetic, so.
Adam:
Oh yeah. Well that, yeah. Could that be it? It's like, you blindfold the patient. And then you play bells, and you blow air on them just to distract them while you gotta do whatever you're doing.
Sam:
Nope.
Tom:
It's a 17th century equivalent of jangling keys in front of the new— No.
Sam:
Yeah. I mean, that might have worked.
Ben:
Yeah.
Sam:
I don't know, but... this is in fact not for the benefit of the patient at all.
Adam:
Okay. Does it have anything to do with trying to announce something? Because... bells would be used— Is it to try to alert... you know, whoever needs to know that a baby has been born is like they would ring bells, so then the husband knows to come and meet the baby?
Tom:
'Cause I was thinking little hand bell. We don't know the size of this bell. Could be a big old church bell.
Sam:
No, it's not for the sake of informing. And in fact, in some ways, I think it's kind of for the opposite.
Ben:
For keeping it a secret.
Adam:
Oh, is it— Was it— Oh, okay. Is it to make a lot of noise, so that people aren't hearing the pain and difficulty of childbirth?
Sam:
Okay, you're getting closer. But again, it's not for the patient's benefit. It's really actually, specifically for the Chamberlen family's benefit.
Ben:
Maybe people lived in this house, and they were always delivering babies, and they were like, "I don't wanna see babies getting delivered, so if I walk through that room, I'm gonna wear a blindfold".
Sam:
No.
Adam:
Is it somehow, are the— okay, are these things being used to distract people in some way?
Sam:
Kind of, but yes.
Adam:
So they are a distraction, or they are meant to— Are they meant to drown out the noise of childbirth in some way?
Sam:
Most of that is correct, what you just said.
Adam:
Kind of.
Ben:
Is it because like they were— it was a secret practice? Like they weren't supposed to be doing this, and they had to... disguise the operation?
Tom:
Hold on, Ben. That's a really good idea. Because I'm sure there were like guilds of... I'm not— I'm just gonna say medical people, because I don't know the right terms, who treated it as a very tight-knit community that shared skills and inducted new members, rather than today's science, like teach anyone who wants to, it would be, this is to protect our craft and our revenue and our skills, we need... like you said, to stop the secret getting out, of what we do.
Sam:
What I would like to say, Ben, sort of to— in response to your question: It's not a secret practice... but they did have a secret practice. At this time... they were basically innovators. They were doing, you know, they were baby birthing innovators, or whatever.
Tom:
That does fit the tune of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
Adam:
(wheezes)
Ben:
Mhm. And that's something.
Adam:
Do you do that math in your head every time anyone says anything, Tom? If it has—
Tom:
It's a curse. It's an absolute curse.
Adam:
What, eight syllables?
Tom:
There are multiple patterns in my head that my brain just pattern matches.
Adam:
Okay, they... What was their innovation? In the world of childbirth, right? We are discussing childbirth, right?
Sam:
Yes.
Adam:
That's what they're— That's what's occurring.
Sam:
Yeah.
Adam:
Okay, so what did they invent that aided in childbirth?
Sam:
So... I think you guys basically have it. You have all the pieces. Just putting it together, like what is the purpose of the bells, blindfolds, bellows, et cetera?
Adam:
Presumably it is, they are distract, I guess, I guess before we were saying it was to distract people just who didn't want to experience the noise, but I think what we're landing on is, it's to— It's so that people don't discover whatever the innovation is in childbirth that they have developed.
Sam:
Yeah.
Adam:
Right? It's like, to keep it secret.
Sam:
I think that's it.
Tom:
They blindfold anyone in the room. They blindfold the mother, presumably.
Sam:
Yep.
Tom:
Then the bells and the bellows are just... additional stuff they bring in and make noise with, and do stuff with, to obfuscate. That's the word. It's not distract, it's to obfuscate. It's so you can't tell what the thing is.
Sam:
Exactly, yep.
Tom:
So what was the thing?
Sam:
Metal forceps. Which I guess are just like baby tongs. I guess?
Tom:
(wheezes) Sure.
Adam:
How are bells gonna prevent you from realizing that the forc—
Sam:
Because it's metal. They don't want to the metal clanking. So you do like other, you know.
Tom:
Ohh!
Adam:
Ohh.
Sam:
But they, just like, they, yeah, they just made a bunch of sounds and, you know, blew air around and blindfold— Do you think they— Do you think the baby got a blindfold when it came out?
Tom:
(laughs)
Adam:
I hope so. It would've looked so cute.
Sam:
Yeah, so, you know, with all that distraction and everything... apparently this— the forceps came in this large ornate box, and it was presented as like a secret device, and they managed to keep the secret for 100 years.
Ben:
Wow. No one else came up with metal forceps for a century?
Sam:
Guess not.
Ben:
I could come up with that right now.
Adam:
Come up with it, Ben, do it.
Ben:
I just did, in my head.
Sam:
Damn. So cool.
Adam:
That's awesome, dude. Congrats.
Tom:
Thanks to James for this next question.
In Putten, the Netherlands, James pulls on a large metal ring connected to a stone that is set into the ground. An inscription says, "Lift the Netherlands by this ring and no one will notice". Why Is it there?
I'll say that again.
In Putten, the Netherlands, James pulls on a large metal ring connected to a stone that is set into the ground. An inscription says, "Lift the Netherlands by this ring and no one will notice". Why is it there?
Sam:
The Netherlands is obviously known for a bunch of artificial land. You know, like... they did all these like water management projects to basically do a bunch of land reclamation stuff, which, I dunno exactly how that fits together. But that's like my first thought since we're talking about land in the Netherlands.
Adam:
I mean, is this like a public art project or something? Is my initial thought. It's like, it's meant to... It would seem to me that this has no actual practical purpose, but that it like is meant to demonstrate an idea, which is like, it's a big metal ring that goes into the ground, and you can grab it and pull it.
Tom:
Yeah.
Adam:
And if you were to do that, it would— it's like it's meant to suggest you are lifting the Netherlands up higher or something in some way, which I don't know what that would represent, but... that's what it sounds like.
Tom:
Well, the inscription, translated: "Lift the Netherlands by this ring, and no one will notice".
Adam:
Right, so I guess the question is, why would no one notice if you lifted up the Netherlands? Is it because the Netherlands... the definition of sea level is set in the Netherlands? So if you lifted it up, sea level would change everywhere, and then it would— I don't know. Is there some standard? Is there some measurement standard or something that is set in the Netherlands? So if... You know what I mean? Does that make sense?
Ben:
Mhm. Yeah.
Tom:
Keep thinking that way. Probably not measurement standard, but yeah, you're definitely circling the right area there.
Sam:
But there is also, I'm pretty sure— Doesn't the Netherlands also have a bunch of land that's below sea level?
Tom:
It does, yep.
Ben:
But it's like, if someone raised that land, you wouldn't be able to tell. How would that be possible?
Tom:
Well, if you actually could lift that ring any significant distance, people would notice, but... the inscription is, like you said, Adam—
Adam:
Wait, whoa, whoa. (blabbers) The freaking inscription is lying to us?
Sam:
Well, land is heavy. Land is pretty heavy.
Tom:
Yes, yes. If someone could actually lift the Netherlands by that ring, people would notice. But the inscription is, like you said, Adam, it's artistic. I think it's still true.
Adam:
Okay. It's meant to represent something.
Sam:
Is it accurate?
Tom:
Accurate enough, yeah.
Sam:
Okay.
Tom:
Yeah. Accurate enough.
Sam:
Because I would argue that no one would ever notice because you would argue— you would— you can't lift land very much, that it's heavy.
Adam:
So you're saying if you did actually manage to lift the land, people would notice? But...
Tom:
Yeah, they would absolutely notice if the Netherlands was somehow a bit higher than it used to be.
Adam:
Well, okay.
Tom:
But...
Adam:
Okay, alright, Tom. You're acting like I'm crazy for thinking that if you lifted the land, no one would notice, when you told me that it said that if you did it, that no one would notice.
Sam:
Well, not all inscriptions are true, you know.
Tom:
That's true. I would say this is... true in an artistic sense. And that will make sense once you clock the answer.
Adam:
Did you say where this ring is? It's in... Putten?
Tom:
Putten. Which is about 50 kilometres, 30 miles east of Amsterdam.
Sam:
East, so inland?
Tom:
Inland.
Ben:
East of Amsterdam.
Tom:
And that is important.
Adam:
Is it relevant where in the Netherlands the ring is? Like where geographically?
Tom:
Oh yes.
Adam:
Is it at the geographic center of the Netherlands?
Tom:
Yes, it is, Adam! So, if you lift the Netherlands by that ring...
Adam:
No one would notice, 'cause it'd be perfectly balanced. It would stay level.
Tom:
Correct, yes.
Ben:
Ah, okay.
Tom:
That is absolutely right. That is the gravitational centre of the Netherlands as calculated by the wonderfully titled computer geologist, Frans Storbeck, in 1984. He worked out the centre of gravity, and the same year, a stone with a ring was placed there. And so in artistic terms, if you like, if you were to lift the country from that point, nothing would topple over.
Sam:
I would argue that Germany would notice.
Tom:
Yes, Germany would certainly noti— Anyone on the border, definitely noticing.
Adam:
Whoever wrote this inscription thinks that anyone not in the Netherlands doesn't count as a person.
Tom:
It's very much cartoon physics here, but question submitter James says, "I have personally lifted the country from this ring, and I can confirm none of my friends noticed."
Adam, your question please.
Adam:
Alright folks, buckle up.
Sam:
Uh-oh.
Tom:
(laughs)
Adam:
This question has been sent in by Jean.
Certain 1990s video games contain the phrase "NOSEGAY is a word" in their data. How did this potentially help speed up game development in a sneaky, yet legal, way?
And I'll read that one more time.
Certain 1990s video games contain the phrase "NOSEGAY is a word" in their data. How did this potentially help speed up game development in a sneaky, yet legal, way?
Sam:
Can you clarify what exact portion of that is the quoted phrase?
Adam:
Yes. The quoted phrase is "NOSEGAY is a word".
Sam:
And then in their data is after.
Adam:
The games contained that phrase in their data.
Ben:
Well, I'm just trying to figure out like, is this like a computer science logic thing where like... they don't want the program to be unable to recognize the word "NOSEGAY" for some reason? Or is it like for the sake of programmers?
Adam:
So, yeah, so "NOSEGAY is a word". I know what you're referring to, which is like, you know, in, if you were coding and it was like you're trying to tell it like it's a, this is a string, like view this as a— That's not what it is doing. The phrase is meaningless.
Ben:
Okay. So it's the literal phrase.
Adam:
The meaning of that sentence is entirely irrelevant.
Tom:
And this is 1990s video games. So this is back when everything had to be incredibly optimised. You had to get every little bit of performance out of the machine to try and just play a basic game.
Adam:
I would say that is not— that's not relevant though.
Tom:
Oh, okay.
Sam:
And just to be clear, do we spell this N-O-S-E-G-A-Y, no space?
Adam:
That's correct.
Tom:
So I've written out 'NOSEGAY', and like 'No... Seg...' I'm trying to work out the— I can't see— This is Lateral. This is not gonna be deep computer science knowledge. It's been years since I've had deep computer science knowledge, so...
Adam:
Certainly not deep computer science knowledge.
Ben:
But wait, Adam, what did you say was the purpose of this? It sped up the...
Adam:
So it sped up game development in a sneaky, yet legal, way.
Ben:
Sneaky, yet legal, way, okay.
Adam:
I'll even give you a little more help, which is that they were trying to— This was a workaround for a certain restriction.
Tom:
And 1990s implies that this is gonna be something by either Sony or Nintendo or one of the console makers... who have put some...
Adam:
It's by one of the console makers, yes.
Tom:
They put some restriction on there, that this magically gets around because...
Adam:
Yes, yes, you've... you've got it with the purpose, right, that this— there was a console. But what you said, Tom, is basically all right. There was a console, it had a restriction, and having this phrase—
Tom:
Sega!
Adam:
There it is.
Tom:
It's not Nintendo. It's not Play— Sony. No— right. So, "NOSEGAY is a word" contains the string "SEGA". I don't know what to do with that, but they definitely made game consoles.
Adam:
Yeah, yeah, so just work through it. So you've got this phrase, right? It includes the phrase "SEGA" in it, right? Why? What would that do? How would that be sneaky, but legal? And how would that be a sneaky legal way to work around a restriction?
Tom:
Does it make the console think that this is some official Sega thing?
Adam:
Yes, yeah, yes.
Tom:
(exhales in relief) So...
Adam:
And why would developers need to do that... if they wanna develop stuff for Sega?
Ben:
Oh, is that the only way they could get the video game to run on a Sega console? In order to test it before they published it?
Tom:
It has to pretend to be official.
Adam:
Yes.
Tom:
And it's got a— And I bet that yes, that string is right at the start of the data, isn't it? It's the first thing it has to load. It's gotta have 'SEGA' in there somewhere. That's what it's checking for.
Adam:
Yes.
So, in the '90s, Sega added a "Trade Mark Security System" to the Sega Genesis. And when it was powered on, the console would look for the word 'SEGA' at this specific memory address. And it wouldn't run the game if it wasn't there, because it only wanted licensed software to display Sega's trademark, right?
And so in order to work around this, they would put the phrase "NOSEGAY is a word" – I guess the "is a word" part was relevant to the spacing or something – at this memory location. And that contains 'SEGA' at the memory address, and that would let it clear the check, and then you could test stuff without having actually a licensing agreement yet. Right? It allowed you to test it.
Tom:
The final part of the show, then – at the start, I asked the audience this question from Abigail Cline. Thank you, Abigail.
Before Abigail starts baking, why does she grab a shower cap?
Anyone want to take a quick guess at that before I give the audience the answer?
Sam:
Ben, you love to bake.
Tom:
Oh, I didn't know Ben loved to bake.
Ben:
I do love to bake, but I've never worn a shower cap.
Sam:
Would anything you bake mess up your hair?
Ben:
Maybe. Oh, was— Did—
Tom:
(laughs)
Ben:
No. This doesn't make any sense. I was thinking about those New York City apartments, where they have the shower in the kitchen. And I was like, maybe she's doing both at the same time. She lives in one of those apartments, but... I suppose you wouldn't have to be taking a shower. So I take it back. I don't know.
Tom:
I said she grabbed a shower cap, not that she wore a shower cap. He's doing sous vide.
Ben:
That's not how sous vide works.
Tom:
But it should be!
Adam:
Is it to cover something? Like there's something in the kitchen that she— that needs to be covered while she bakes?
Tom:
Yep.
Adam:
And that thing is, of course, the smoke detector.
Tom:
Yes, it is. Lateral does not recommend overriding your smoke alarms. But Abigail, the question submitter's smoke detector is very sensitive. So when she opens the oven while baking, she has to have a shower cap over the smoke detector. Thank you very much to all of our players. you should plug Jet Lag: The Game. We will start with Sam. What is it?
Sam:
It's a travel competition show where we turn the world into our board, for board game-dy type game things. Nailed it.
Tom:
Adam, what's the new season about?
Adam:
Well, the new season takes place in Taiwan, and it is a race to claim the most rail stations. And it's very fun because for the first time since season... what, season five... we have location specific challenges. So all of our challenges are tied to specific locations, which means we really, really see Taiwan, and we see all of the cool stuff that there is to see.
Tom:
And Ben, where can people see it?
Ben:
You can watch it on nebula.tv, or YouTube a week later if you're a freaking chump.
Tom:
And if you wanna know more about this show, you can do that at lateralcast.com, where you can also send in your own ideas for questions. We are at @lateralcast basically everywhere, and there are full video episodes every week on Spotify.
Thank you very much to Ben Doyle.
Ben:
Good bye.
Tom:
Adam Chase.
Adam:
Bye.
Tom:
Sam Denby.
Sam:
A-thank you, Tom.
Tom:
I've been Tom Scott, and that's been Lateral.
Episode Credits
| HOST | Tom Scott |
| QUESTION PRODUCER | David Bodycombe |
| EDITED BY | Julie Hassett at The Podcast Studios, Dublin |
| MUSIC | Karl-Ola Kjellholm ('Private Detective'/'Agrumes', courtesy of epidemicsound.com) |
| ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS | Abigail Cline, Patrick T., Rado, Jean, Jan Czechowski, Matt Monitto, James |
| FORMAT | Pad 26 Limited/Labyrinth Games Ltd |
| EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS | David Bodycombe and Tom Scott |